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I snorted out a laugh, but my nan would stay true to her word.
Which didn’t help me with the email currently tormenting me in my inbox I knew I should tell both of them about.
“Have you finished your letter yet?”I asked, wiping my eyes again and hoping to change the subject.
“Nearly,” Nan replied, turning back to her piece of paper.“I think I’ll only need a few minutes.Once I’m done, we can take our letters to the cemetery like you said, and then I want you to go and see Nova again.Take her out for a drink or something.”
I smiled, wanting nothing more than to do those things.But the high level of emotion of the day made me want to stay with Nan too.I couldn’t leave her completely alone while she was emotional, even if writing the letters had helped.
“I could ask her to come back here,” I said.“Maybe we could get a takeaway tonight and watch some Christmas movies together.”
Nan’s grin told me she fully appreciated the offer.“We can do that, but if you two would rather be alone together, that’s okay with me too.Don’t hang around here on my account.”
“But I’m here to see you,” I pointed out.
“Yes, but it’s also important that we’re not tripping over each other all the time.I’d love to spend the evening with you both, but if you want to go out, don’t feel like youhaveto be with me.”
I didn’t.Not anymore.At first, it had been a chore and a challenge.Now, though, I appreciated the time with her.Being around her had triggered a need to be around my family more, and I couldn’t wait to see my parents again either.I just wasn’t sure when that might be now.
“Okay,” I said, standing up.“You finish your letter, and I’ll text Nova about tonight.”
“Just tell her to come over as soon as we’re back from the cemetery,” Nan said with a laugh.“I know you’ve hardly seen her today.”
“You’re making me sound like a loser,” I said, pulling my phone from my pocket, but I grinned as I spoke.
“Nothing wrong with wanting to be around someone you like.”She said the words as she picked up her pen, and I didn’t reply, unwilling to pull her focus any more since she wanted to get her letter finished.I hadn’t meant to punctuate her own reflections with my breakdown, and I knew she still had things she wanted to say, so I went into the living room and sat down to text Nova.
Why did I miss her already?She’d been gone for such a short while.But like Nan said, I’d hardly seen her since she’d only arrived at lunchtime.That was all it was.
I ran a hand through my hair, then rubbed my eyes, heaving out a sigh.For someone who tried not to feel too much, the day had been emotional and draining.I would have liked to just be with Nova, even though she was a big part of the reason my feelings were all over the fucking place.But if I was honest, I loved Nova being in Nan’s house with us.The friendship between them was strong and sweet.It seemed weird that two people so far apart in age would get along so well, but Nova had an element of old soul about her.It was something I seemed to possess also, in a way.As much as I loved the thrill of being out in the world, I also liked time to myself to think about what I’d experienced.In the last couple of weeks, I’d learned to also see the much bigger picture.To seemyselfand fix the things about me I hadn’t liked when I’d looked deeper.
I wasn’t sure I’d truly changed much, really, though.When it came down to it, there would probably always be a little part of me that was self-centred.That wanted my way and wouldn’t budge.I’d allowed myself to open up and get to know my nan, and Nova was able to get under my skin like nobody else ever had, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t somehow always find a way to put myself first.
“Oh my God,”Nova said, leaning back against the sofa after swallowing one final sweet and sour chicken ball.“I should have stopped eating about five minutes ago.”She pulled at the waistband of her jeans for a moment, then rested a hand on her stomach.
Between us, Nova, Nan, and I had just eaten a Chinese banquet consisting of way more dishes than we ever should have ordered, but it was worth every single mouthful.
Nan put her lap tray containing her empty plate onto the floor by her feet and said, “I’m stuffed too.I won’t need to eat for a week now!”
Nova laughed.“Don’t let my mum hear you say that.Knowing her, she’s got enough Christmas food to feed a small army.”
“Amateurs,” I said, grinning, even though I was also entirely too full.“We’ll be nibbling at the rest of the leftovers within an hour, I bet you.”
“Not me,” Nan said.“I am full up.”
Nova eyed the remaining sweet and sour balls before groaning.“Why does it have to taste so good?I’ve had more than enough, but I still want more.”
“Will I have to carry you back to your house tonight?”I asked.
She looked up at me and nodded, eyes wide with glee at the idea of not having to walk.“Please.”
“You’re more than welcome to stay here tonight,” Nan said, causing us both to spin our heads in her direction.She rolled her eyes.“I’m old, not stupid.You’re both fully grown adults, and if you want to stay here, that’s fine with me.”
My eyes lit up at the prospect of Nova spending the night.“What do you think?”I asked her.“Wanna stay?”
She smiled.“Sure.”She looked back at Nan.“Thank you.”
“It’s not a problem, my love.”She gazed at us with a fondness in her eyes, like she was enjoying us all being together, and a stab of guilt plunged into my insides.
