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I stare into his eyes in the dim light. “You don’t scare me, Alex. You’ve never scared me.” I wish I could go back and erase that night I had a meltdown out in the barn. I’ve totally given him PTSD.
His voice softens and calms, and it feels like a caress, lulling my racing heart. “I don’t know what it is, Penny. I don’t know if we’re soul mates, or twin flames, or whatever magical cupid-ass thing that pairs people together, but you’re wrapped in my heart. You’re threaded under my skin. I don’t ever want anyone else, and I don’t want to be friends. I just want you. I want to hold you, kiss you, make art with you, talk to you for hours, say nothing with you for hours, see you smile, wipe your tears, and live and die loving you. I know that all sounds crazy since we’ve never even had a real fucking date, but that’s how I feel and I’m tired of trying to make sense of it. And as much as I love Lily and want to make her happy, I don’t think I can live without you. At least not in any way that will even remotely fucking resemble happiness. You fill the void in my soul and in my heart.”
My heart feels like it’s going to burst. I’ve been waiting forever to hear all the words of his heart, and now I have them, and they’re perfect. I let out a small, nervous laugh as I take some breaths and try to process it all. “I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to me at one time.”
He laughs, too. “I think you’re right. I feel like I just ran a verbal marathon. But it feels good.”
I reach up and touch his cheek, wanting to memorize his smile in this moment because he looks so, so happy.
“Thank you for telling me how you feel,” I say softly, watching my fingers tremble near his lips. I ache to touch them, but hold myself back. “I feel the exact same way. I always have. I’ve been irresistibly drawn to you, like a little unstoppable magnet, for as far back as I can remember. I’ve always known that you’re my guy, you’re my love.”
Capturing my hand, he brings it to his smiling lips for a kiss. “I love hearing you say that. You have no idea how much.”
I do. Because I know that for most of his life, Alex believed he wasn’t worthy of love. I want the chance to make him feel loved every single day, without hiding it from the world.
With careful thought, I say, “I think we should let Lily enjoy her engagement for a little while before we tell her about us. Just in case it does upset her and sends her off the rails. I don’t want her to think back to her engagement and have it associated with something that upset her.”
He nods and blows out a breath. “You’re right. But we can’t put it off for long, that’ll just make it worse. And what about your parents? We have to tell them, too.”
My stomach sinks, taking a chunk of my happiness with it. I hadn’t even thought of my parents. “I’m really not sure what they’ll say. Things between my mom and I are a little better. I feel like she’d be accepting of it as long as I’m happy. As far as my dad,” I shrug. “Who knows? He’s so wrapped up in his work all the time, I don’t think he has the energy or time to worry about my relationships.”
“I don’t think that’s true, Penny. He’s your father, he loves you.”
“I know, but there’s always been a wall between us. We’ve never been close. He’s always treated me like I’m someone renting a room in their house.”
“That can change. Look at me and Lily.”
I won’t hold my breath for any monumental changes between me and my father. “Maybe, someday…”
Gently pushing my hair over my shoulder, he leans in to plant a kiss just below my ear and says, “It’s a beautiful night. Let’s go sit under the stars for a while. It’s my favorite place to be with you.”
His breath against my ear sends a delicious shiver up my spine. “I’d love that. I’m just going to run inside real quick and use the bathroom. I’ll bring Shadow out with me.”
“I’ll meet you out back. Maybe grab some of the candles.”
Before I can reach for the door, he pulls me back and cups my cheeks in his hands.
“I love you, Penny Rose,” he whispers. “I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to say it to your face.”
My heart skips, stealing my breath. It has felt like forever.
“I love you, too,” I whisper back
Chapter 46
ALEX
I walk toward the lake with a lightness in my soul I haven’t felt in years. I couldn’t be happier for Lily. She has what I’ve always hoped she’d have—someone who adores her and who treats Brian like his own son.
