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After a few torturously tantalizing minutes, I force myself to sit up. She doesn’t let go of my hands.
I don’t let go of hers, either.
But I should. Now.
“Thanks for making me feel better,” I say softly.
“I can’t stand to see you in pain.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “I want to take it all away.”
If things were different…if she were someone else. If she was older… if she wasn’t Lily’s best friend… if she wasn’t my friend… then maybe, just maybe…
My mind quickly slams shut on that thought like an iron door, obliterating any chance of Penny’s words planting a seed of hope in my heart.
“You do take it all away,” I finally say, unable to mask the grief and forbidden wishes in the hoarseness of my voice.
Reaching up, she pushes my hair out of my face and slowly leans into me. My breath catches in my throat when she kisses my forehead, then my eyelid, then each of my cheeks. Her kisses are gentle, like butterflies. Pulling back a bit, she opens her eyes. The flash of familiar mossy green makes my heart pound. In a blink, she softly presses her mouth against mine. Tiny electrical sparks tingle across our lips like static. Surprised, we both separate.
My mind reels.
Did she seriously just kiss me?
That was unexpected. Sweet. And—I hate myself for even thinking this— sexy.
The tingling travels to my scalp, then down to my chest, leaving me feeling warm, light-headed, and borderline high.
Touching her chin, I bring her face to mine and kiss her softly on the lips, then linger there with a million feelings pumping through my veins. Red-hot desire thrums through me. My cock swells with hunger. I want to pull her onto my lap and devour every inch of her.
Fuck. I don’t know what we’re doing.
Cast by the flickering candle, our silhouette dances on the wall like a slow-motion movie. The room is still and quiet, like it’s watching and waiting to see what happens next.
I inhale a deep breath and hold it, trying to get my head, my heart, and my dick back together.
Nothing can happen next. Not with Penny Rose, my little darlin’ who I’ve known since she was just six years old. And definitely not when we’re both drowning in a cocktail of emotions.
She swallows, still just inches from my face. Close enough for another kiss. “You must be exhausted,” she says to break the silence.
I nod. “Yeah…”
“Can I….” Her tongue skims over her lips. “Can I lie down next to you just for a little while? The house feels so lonely without Lily and Cherry. I don’t want to be alone yet.”
I should absolutely say no. It’s bad enough I momentarily lost my mind and kissed her. That never should’ve happened. Letting her sleep next to me crosses over into hell-no territory. But I can’t get the word out, no matter how hard I try. My throat is paralyzed.
Pulling the comforter back, I climb under the blankets, leaving the side next to me folded down exactly as I used to.
Wordlessly, Penny settles into the dip in the mattress next to me. I don’t have to turn her way to see that she’s curled on her side, facing me and that she’s pulled the blanket up to her chin.
Inhaling an unsteady breath, I close my eye and lift my right arm. My heart surges when, like clockwork, she immediately snuggles into my side, molding her body perfectly against mine, laying her head on my chest. Simultaneously, I wrap my arm around her as she encircles my waist, just as I knew she would.
Finally, I exhale. My body relaxes against hers. My pulse slows with contentment. The hum fades to a low purr.
The guilt I expected to feel doesn’t come.
The ache in my heart subsides.
I don’t let myself question or wonder. I surrender to the comfort and familiarity and hold her tighter.
There’re no words to explain it, except that nothing has ever felt so right.
Chapter 23
ALEX
“Dad? Dad!”
My eyes spring open. Lily’s blurry form slowly comes into view at the foot of the bed.
“Huh?” I quickly sit up and touch the empty space next to me, which feels emptier than usual. I could’ve sworn Bri was just here.
I rub my hand over the blanket, remembering her resting on my chest, my hand caressing her long hair, her soft voice telling me to just rest.
Lily frowns. “Are you okay?”
Groggy, I rub my eyes with my palms. More memories of her sleeping in my arms, her body wrapped around mine, drift through my hazy mind. Suddenly, my heart flies up into my throat.
It was Penny.
Here in my bed.
Did that happen? Or was I dreaming?
Please let that have been a dream. Don’t let me have been that stupid.
But then the even worse memory of losing Cherry yesterday slams into me like a freight train.
