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My phone ringing shatters the oppressive silence in my room, and I snatch it up. "Hello?" I answer, desperate for any distraction.
"Mr. Maldonado? This is Sister Maria from St. Agnes Orphanage," says a timid voice on the other end. My family has loans out to orphanages across the state at very low interest rates – it's our way of giving back, I guess. But this call reminds me of Raven, since the orphanage is run by a convent, just not the one she's a part of.
"Hey, Sister Maria. What can I do for you?" I ask, trying to keep the heaviness out of my voice.
"Um, well... we won't be able to make our payment this month, and I'm so sorry about that. I promise we're doing our best to come up with the money," she stammers, her anxiety palpable.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," I say, surprised by the genuine concern in my voice. "Why are you so worried?"
"Your brother, Giovanni... he was always... um, more difficult when it came to these situations," she confesses, her voice trembling slightly.
"Ah, yeah, Gio could be tough," I admit, rubbing a hand through my hair. "But look, I'm running things now, and I don't want you stressing over this. Just make the payment when you can, all right?"
"Really?" Relief washes over her voice. "Thank you so much, Mr. Maldonado. You have no idea what this means to us."
"No problem, sister. Take care of those kids, okay?" I say, and we end the call.
As I lay the phone down, I can't help but think about how different things are now. The silence is still suffocating, but for a moment, I was able to do something good. And maybe that's what it takes to find some kind of balance in this messed-up life.
I flop back onto my bed, the springs creaking beneath me as I stare up at the ceiling. The cracks in the plaster form a pattern that reminds me of Raven's face – her hazel eyes, the curve of her lips. Which is dumb, but everything reminds me of her now. God, I miss her. But who am I kidding? A girl like that, with her soul as pure as freshly fallen snow, and me, neck-deep in blood and filth – we were never meant to be together.
"Raven," I whisper, as if saying her name out loud might somehow summon her. But deep down, I know she's made her choice. She wants to be a nun, and I have to respect that. If she can find peace and solace away from this life, then maybe it's for the best.
Still, the thought of her locked away in that convent, praying for redemption while I wallow in my sins... It eats away at me. I should've protected her better. I should've stopped Carmine and Enzo from dragging her into that goddamn dungeon. There's got to be something I can do to make it right.
And then it hits me – the phone call from earlier, the sister from the orphanage. My family's been helping these places out for years, but what if I could do more? What if I could use our resources, our connections, to make a real difference for these kids?
"Shit," I mutter, sitting up. "Maybe I can actually do some good in this world."
My heart races as the idea takes shape in my mind. It won't erase my past, and it won't bring Raven back. But maybe, just maybe, it'll help me find some kind of balance in this messed-up life. And in some small way, I'd be honoring her and her decision to dedicate her life to others.
"Alright, Teddy," I say to myself, a newfound determination settling in. "Time to put those Maldonado connections to work for something good."
I grab my phone again, my fingers hovering over the screen as I start making plans. If I can't have Raven by my side, at least I can try to make the world a better place in her name. And who knows? Maybe one day, she'll forgive me for all the wrongs I've done and see that there's still a sliver of light left in this darkness.
"Raven," I whisper once more, feeling her presence like a distant melody. "This one's for you."
ChapterForty-Three
The scent of incense clings to the air, but I can't let it lull me into a false sense of safety. I'm still on edge, even within these hallowed walls, and nothing will change that.
“Sister Neriah,” Sister Agnes calls out as she slips into my room. "You have a visitor."
"Tell them to go away," I snap without looking up from the worn Bible in my lap. I don't mean to speak unkindly to my sister, but I'm finding it hard to regulate my emotions.
"Maybe you'll make an exception for me?" A soft-spoken voice comes from behind Sister Agnes, and I glance up to see a woman standing there, her warm eyes searching mine.
"Who are you?" I ask, my defenses rising.
"Evelyn. Primo's sister-in-law. I'm a doctor." She pauses and adds, "Teddy asked me to come check on you, health-wise."
"I'm fine," I say, closing the Bible with a sigh.
"I know you feel fine. But, maybe you wouldn't mind if I just sat with you a bit and we can double check?"
I want to turn Evelyn away. I don't want to be bothered, but as I look up and see Sister Agnes' true concern, I realize that my stubbornness might be hurting those around me. So, reluctantly, I agree to the exam.
As Evelyn begins her work, her hands gentle and precise, she talks about Teddy. "I don't know him too well, but he seems like a kind person at heart. When my sister, Isabella married Primo, she made him give up the business, and everything fell to Teddy."
