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The convent looms before me like a specter from another age. The old stone walls are weathered and worn, shadows dancing across them as clouds pass overhead. The sound of distant church bells reaches my ears, only adding to the eerie atmosphere. I can't help but feel skeptical; how could a place like this bring peace to anyone, let alone Raven?
As I walk up to the heavy wooden doors, I take a deep breath and knock. Every time I've come here, I'm greeted by a new set of nuns, each one more pious than the last. It's like they're trying to outdo each other in holiness or something.
"Come on, Teddy" I think to myself, "Just get through this and maybe you'll find some answers."
The door creaks open, and a stern-looking woman with graying hair appears. She's got this air of authority that makes me feel like I've just been caught stealing cookies in the kitchen. "Uh, hi," I stammer, trying to sound more confident than I feel. "I'm Teddy."
She doesn't smile, which only adds to my discomfort. I brace myself for another rejection, but instead, she steps aside, gesturing for me to enter. I blink in surprise before stepping into the convent.
We walk through the cold stone hallways, and I can't help but notice how the place feels more like a tomb than a sanctuary. The walls are lined with faded religious paintings, their eyes seeming to follow me as we pass by. The flickering candles cast eerie shadows, and every footstep echoes, making me hyper-aware of my own presence. It's enough to make a guy question if he's made some terrible mistake in a past life.
"Right this way," the high-ranking nun says, her voice echoing through the hallway as she leads me to a small room. She closes the door behind us, and I fight back the urge to crack a joke about being locked up. Now's not the time, Teddy.
"Please sit down," she says, gesturing to a chair. "I am Mother Superior, the head of this convent."
"Uh, nice to meet you." I bow awkwardly, unsure of what the proper protocol is here. A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of her lips, and my nerves ease ever so slightly.
"Thank you," I mumble, taking a seat across from her as we face each other in the dimly lit room. My mind races, wondering what she wants to talk about. Is it Raven? Does she know about my family's business? Or maybe she's just here to tell me that I'm really, really bad at bowing.
I jump the gun, spilling my reasons for being here in a jumbled mess. "Mother Superior, I'm here to see Raven," I say, struggling to keep the desperation out of my voice. "I just... I love her. Deeply. But if she wants to take her vows, I won't stand in her way."
She looks at me for a moment, her eyes piercing through me like steel. Then she speaks, her voice steady and calm. "To be honest with you, Teddy, I've never truly believed that Raven would take her vows."
My heart leaps at her words, but then guilt slams into me like a sucker punch. As much as I want Raven with me, this path is important to her. It's selfish of me to hope that she'll abandon it.
"I just want to see her," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
Mother Superior nods, understanding the weight of my request. "Wait in the office," she says, standing up. As she heads towards the door, she pauses and adds, "Please don't touch anything."
"Of course," I mumble, feeling like a chastised child. She leaves, and I find myself alone in the small room. The silence is suffocating, so I try to distract myself by glancing around the space. A wooden cross adorns one wall, its surface smooth and polished, beckoning me to reach out and touch it.
I make my way to it and just as my fingertips brush against the cool wood, the door swings open. My hand snaps back, narrowly avoiding being caught. I turn to see Raven standing there, clad in her thick nun habit. She looks beautiful – ethereal, even – but the sight of her in that outfit twists something inside me.
"Raven," I breathe, taking a step toward her before stopping short. I can't bring myself to hug her; I don't deserve to touch her. "You look nice."
Her lips remain a tight line, and she doesn't smile. Instead, she settles into one of the chairs, her eyes never leaving mine. I sit across from her, my heart racing in my chest, wondering how the hell we ended up here.
"Raven," I say, the words heavy in my throat, "I'm truly sorry for everything. I understand your decision to take your vows, and I will respect and honor it."
Her gaze remains locked on mine, her hazel eyes clouded with a mix of emotions I can't quite decipher. My heart feels like it's being squeezed by an invisible hand as I continue.
"Since I'm still in charge of the family business... I've decided to do something to express my remorse." I pause, drawing in a shaky breath. "I'm going to forgive every loan made to orphanages across New England, all in a fund set up in your name."
Raven gasps, and tears well up in her eyes. They spill over, tracing shimmering paths down her cheeks, and seeing her like this – so raw, so vulnerable – shatters me. I dare to stand up, kneeling before her, feeling the cold floor seep through my pants and into my bones.
I reach into my back pocket and pull something out of it, placing it in her hands. It's the little pink journal that I'd stolen out of her room all those years ago. Did I read every single page of it? Absolutely.
Do I really want to give it back to her and give up the last thing I have of her in this world? Nope.
But, it's not mine, and I shouldn't have held onto it as long as I did.
"This is yours," I say. She takes the journal with shaky fingers and I can see the recognition light up in her eyes.
"Teddy..." she whispers, her voice barely audible.
"Raven, I love you," I tell her, my own voice cracking with emotion. "I just want you to be happy." I take her hand gently, pressing a soft kiss to its back. The feel of her skin against my lips is electric, but I know I have to let her go.
Before she has a chance to respond, I stand and make my way to the door, feeling the weight of our shared pain bearing down on me. Mother Superior walks me back to the entrance of the convent.
