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"Jesus," Teddy curses. "You're fucking drenched," he says as he pulls his fingers out of me.
I crack my eyes open and watch in a mix of embarrassment and lust as he licks my juices off his hand.
I try and say something, but my voice is hoarse and I realize I'm gasping for air.
"Just relax," he says, putting a reassuring hand against my face. My mind is pure white noise right now as my body continues to pulse in mini waves of pleasure.
"I don't think I can," I say to him, trying to catch my breath.
"Then just stay here with me," he says.
I nod my head and smile a bit. I know I should feel guilty for what I just let him do, but the way he's looking at me is keeping it at bay. I slide my hand into his and enjoy the sensation of being close to him.
He gives my hand a squeeze. "Stay right here," he says. "I'll be right back."
"Huh?" I say in a confused tone as he gets out of the car.
I watch him walk to the trunk and grab a blanket. He gets back into the car, rights my clothing and spreads the blanket out over my body. I feel a blush spread across my face.
"Can I do something for you?" I ask him.
He shakes his head and holds a finger up to his lips. "No, no," he says. "It's okay. What you did was something for me."
"What do you mean?" I ask him.
I can't really make out his face in the darkness, but I can tell that he's leaned his head against the headrest. "I'm absolutely addicted to you," he says. "Being anywhere near you is like being intoxicated."
I'm happy for the darkness, because I'm blushing even more now.
"Teddy," I say. "You don't have to lie to me." I brush off his comment, probably because I can't process it. It feels odd to say those words, considering all that I'm keeping from him.
"Fuck," he says, turning his head to look at me. I can see the whites of his eyes gleaming in the low light. "I would never fucking lie to you, Raven. Never."
His words are so full of passion and conviction. It's almost as if what he just said was some sort of prayer.
"Okay," I respond, not sure what else to say. Guilt surges within me. I suddenly have the urge not to lie to him. I want to tell him the truth.
That I haven't taken my vows.
That I'm not sure whether I'm going to.
"Come on," he says, robbing me of the opportunity. "It's been a long day. I'm sure you're exhausted."
"Okay," I say, hoping I'll still have the courage to admit my truth to him tomorrow.
ChapterTwenty-One
I say goodnight to Raven and make my way back to my own room. I'd sell my soul to the devil for the chance to spend the night with her, but let's be honest, Satan wouldn't want a soul like mine.
She seemed okay when she bid me goodnight and closed the door. I was more than a little worried about her. I also wasn't completely clear on the rules of nun-ship, but I was pretty sure letting a sinner like me finger fuck you in a car would be frowned upon.
But then again, Father Murphy was running guns for the Irish mob, so maybe church is different than the way I remembered it.
I was about to close the door to my own room and rub out what was sure to be the biggest load of my life, but a hand pushing against my bedroom door stopped me.
I wish I could say it was the beautiful, graceful hand of Raven, come to finish the night in my bed(hey, a guy can dream, right?)but it was quite the opposite.
"Heard you went to dinner."
