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I looked up, expecting to see him walking toward me, but he was already halfway up the stairs to his office. I thought of following him up and begging. Throwing myself at his mercy and letting go of the last of my pride. But what would it solve? He wasn’t ready, and I didn’t know if he ever would be.
A horn beeped in the parking lot, alerting me that my mother was waiting outside. I looked up at his office. He was taking down the sales papers he’d taped over the window when our eyes met.
“Are we okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. We’re okay.”
“I’m going to head out.”
He smiled, but it was forced. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Walking out of the store, I tried to picture that boy in the lake. The one who’d given me seventeen reasons why he deserved my heart.
I paused at the door, not looking back. “Grayson?”
“Yeah?”
“Number seventeen,” I said, meaning it more than I ever had. I rushed out of the store before he could respond, leaving him to battle his demons alone, the same way he’d done with me.
REASON TEN
I’ll never hurt you.
Iwalkedoutofthe water, glaring at the oak tree to my right. When I reached Gray’s truck, I grabbed the duffle bag I’d packed for us and slung it over my shoulder. I waved at Gray, motioning for him to come out, and laid a blanket on top of the grass. Grabbing the bottle of wine I’d smuggled in when he’d picked me up, I took another gulp. The bottle was already half empty, and it had only been an hour since we’d arrived.
The trip to the lake had been his idea. A way of smoothing things over after two weeks of awkward tension. After he’d essentially begged me to let him go, we’d hardly spoken two words to each other. We still saw each other at work, but when we did, it felt like those first few days after I started. Like he was guarding himself. Protecting his heart from the hurt.
The afternoon had felt just like old times. Two-liter and Half-pint, splashing around in our lake like children. I had the picnic set up by the time he finally came out. Making no effort to hide my gaze, I stared openly at his sack as it bounced beneath his boxer briefs. When he came to a stop, Gray cleared his throat. I continued staring at him and shrugged.
“I have eyes. I’m allowed to look.”
“Are you?” he asked, a smirk forming on his face.
“Try and stop me.” I smirked right back at him. “You can look, too. I won’t tell.” I spread my legs a little wider. He glanced down, nibbling his lip. The half-bottle of wine swimming through my bloodstream had given me courage. More courage than I had any right to.
Gray snapped himself out of his haze and forced a laugh, lowering himself onto the blanket. “Just so we’re clear, you’re banned from picnic planning for the rest of your life,” he said, pointing at the disastrous smorgasbord laid out in front of us. The selection was certainly eclectic, I had to give him that. I’d gone to great lengths to plan our menu. And, by great lengths, I meant raiding my mother’s fridge and shoving every low-carb item inside in a bag. There were chicken wings, a bowl of tuna, fruit salad, bacon, a couple of burger patties, a veggie tray, and a pack of Fruit Stripe gum for dessert.
“After last time, I thought it would be best if I gave you a few more options. You really don’t like it?” I said, pouting my lip at him.
“Listen, I love Brussels sprouts and scrambled eggs as much as the next guy, but that’s not a meal. And honestly, I think it should probably be a crime to pair them together.”
“It’s carb-friendly. I won’t be judged for taking pride in my appearance, Grayson.”
“Pride is a sin,” he pointed out. “And we all get judged one day, Half-pint.”
“I could say the same about you and your hair gel.” And then, I realized I couldn’t, because as Gray finished drying his hair, there wasn’t a single bit of product left for me to make fun of. Seeing him like that, completely natural, made my stomach flutter. I stood up and walked forward, running my fingers through it, staring at him like a lovesick teenager.
He cocked his head to the side, studying my face. “What is it?”
“It’s just weird to see you like this, you know? Without all of that gunk in your hair.” My hands fell lower, my thumb grazing his face. Taking another step forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. His heart was racing.
“What’s this for?” he said, pulling me in even closer.
“Just happy to be here with you.”
Despite his protests that all he wanted from me was a platonic friendship, he didn’t seem to mind the affection that I’d been showing him all day. And how could he? He’d met each of my stolen glances and every single unnecessary touch with one of his own.
At that secluded lake, less than a mile from his childhood home, we were free. It had always felt like that. The lake was ours. Our own little haven where we could escape the world’s prying eyes. There was no judgment there. No big scary man in the sky staring down at us with a righteous look of rage on his face.
