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“You’re doing a great job,” I tell her earnestly.
“Thank you, that means so much.” She smiles warmly, her eyes getting slightly glassy. “Anyway, as much as I love talking about Charlie, I actually wanted to talk about you. This might sound weird, but I was wondering if you ever go out to the club. My husband only ever goes to humor me, and I would love to hang out for once with someone who actually enjoys being there.”
Her question does take me by surprise, but I’m also deeply flattered that she would consider doing something social with me. For the first time, I realize that she and I aren’t far apart in age, and I’m always down to make more friends.
I try not to read more into the situation than that. Like the fact that I know that James and her husband are close friends. I’m sure this isn’t something he put her up to, but there’s this eternal hope in the back of my mind that wonders if maybe he’s mentioned me. It’s ridiculous, probably completely false, and I say yes because I truly do want to hang out with her, not because it may have deeper implications. And it’s been forever since I’ve had a good girls’ night.
We agree to go out on Saturday night after I finish my classes. When I meet her at the club, she’s nearly unrecognizable. Again, I’m struck by how young she is. I knew Charlie was adopted, but I just assumed her parents were in their mid-to-late thirties. Juliana always comes to the center dressed professionally and wearing very little makeup. Everything about her screams “mom.” But tonight, she’s dressed in a tight black dress and her makeup is much heavier than I’ve ever seen her wear.
“Can I just say, you look hot,” I gush, giving her a quick hug.
“Aww, thank you!” she beams, looking more like the person I’ve gotten acquainted with over the last few months. “I so rarely get a chance to get all dolled up anymore. All my closest friends are moms and we’re usually too exhausted to put in this much effort. Sometimes I forget I’m only twenty-nine.”
“I totally get that,” I tell her as we get in line for entry into the club. “The second I turned twenty-seven, I felt like the best years of my life were behind me. It’s fun to remember I’m still young and can look hot as hell when I want to.”
“Yes ma’am!” She giggles. “God, it’s nice to just be a girl at a club tonight. I love Charlie with my whole heart, but it gets hard sometimes to be only known as ‘Charlie’s mom’ by people. I have a whole identity apart from being a wife and a mother. I’m still a person, you know?”
I do know, though I can’t directly relate. I’d love to have what she has, a husband to come home to at the end of the day and a daughter to raise and love on. I know it’s going to happen for me someday, but it gets so hard to be patient. So many times I’ve questioned if New Orleans is even where I want to stay and meet someone. Being here brings up a lot of baggage about myself that makes me feel like I’ll never find love.
“Well, you look amazing,” I repeat. “I have a feeling we’re not paying for drinks tonight.”
We laugh and chat some more as we wait for the bouncer to let us in. She tells me all about meeting her husband and how unexpected it was. She clearly loves him a lot and says that he saved her in so many ways. She tells me all about her family in Brazil and how her family travels there in the summer when Charlie’s out of school. Before they adopted her, they would spend months at a time there, always wondering if they’d come back.
“It’s hard because I don’t have family here,” she tells me. “Besides Hex, of course,” she amends. “And in my culture, it’s unusual to raise a kid without any help. Of course I didn’t give birth to Charlie, and we’ve only had her a few years, but it would be nice to know that she has a support system and cousins she can play with. I want her to really feel like she’s part of the family, you know?”
“I love that,” I tell her as we get closer to the front of the line. “I’m an only child and I just have my parents here as well. We’re not as close as we used to be, so it’s hard to feel like I have a community, you know? I would love to have more family around, to know that there are people who are obligated to spend time with me.”
She laughs heartily and throws her arm around my shoulder.
“Well, I may not be obligated to spend time with you, but you’re always welcome to hang out with us whenever you like,” she says kindly.
We finally make it to the door and show the bouncer our IDs. We immediately go to the bar to get drinks, and just as I suspected, someone immediately offers to buy. We give each other a knowing glance and accept the drinks. I flirt with him a little, just to stroke his ego and thank him for the gesture. Juliana watches with a smirk, slowly sipping her drink.
Then, we hit the dance floor, and I see that she’s a pro. She works the floor like it’s her only job in life. We lose ourselves in the music, helping each other ward off any unwanted attention from overbearing men. She shows one man a picture of her husband and that’s enough to send him away. I ache to show someone a picture of James and tell him that I’m taken. It’s become more clear to me that Juliana hasn’t associated me with him at all. She hasn’t brought him up once.
While I wish she had, I’m not going to be the one to broach the topic. We’re out to have fun and forget about our personal problems. I’m not going to just admit that I’ve got it bad for one of her husband's close friends. But we talk about everything else in between trips to other clubs. When one place starts to feel stale, we just walk down the street to find somewhere else that fits the vibe.
It’s nice to get to know her. She’s not what I expected, especially for a mom, and I realize I need to start checking my assumptions. This is exactly what she wants, to be seen as an individual and not as Charlie’s mom or Hex’s wife. When no one offers to buy us drinks at the next place, I get hers myself. I want her to enjoy what’s probably a rare night out.
A man approaches me and asks me what I’m drinking. He’s not even a little bit my type, and I’m over the random creep part of the night. I’m having too much fun with Juliana and I just want to focus on that.
“Let me pay for your drink,” he says greasily, almost insisting, rather than offering.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “It’s for my friend, and she’s very happily married.”
“Aww, come on,” he pouts, looking like a petulant child. “Don’t be like that, sweetheart, I’ll be your friend, too.”
I roll my eyes and walk away, handing Juliana her drink and trying not to think about it. But he’s back in my space in a matter of minutes, trying to grind on me during a fast song. I shake him off and grab Juliana’s hand, pushing us through the crowd to get away from him. She eyes him with a look that would wither any man, but he doesn’t seem to be remotely fazed.
We lose ourselves again in the beat, and I try to brush the whole experience off as another creepy club guy. But there’s something about him that isn’t sitting right with me, and my body is on high alert. I tell Juliana I need to go use the bathroom and she comes with me, fully cementing our new bond of friendship.
The second I leave my stall, though, there he is, standing by the sink and leering at me.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I scream. “Get out of here!”
He tries to make a grab for me, but my self-defense instincts kick in this time, and I knee him in the groin. He goes down quickly, groaning in pain. Juliana hears the commotion and runs out of her stall, looking between us in mild horror.
“Let’s go,” she says urgently, grabbing me by the shoulder and leading me out of the bathroom.
