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“Because for my first solo trip, I flew all around Europe exploring the different kinds of Christmas cookies each country makes. I stopped in Paris but didn’t see the Eiffel tower. Went to Rome but skipped the Colosseum. I did see the famous Christmas shop in Rothenberg while I was in Germany, though.”
Lindsey laughs despite my request, then she claps her hands over her mouth. “Sorry, you asked me not to. I actually think that’s super cool. You must really like Christmas cookies then.”
“Are you kidding me? What’s better than a Christmas cookie? They come in all shapes and sizes, with an infinite variety of flavors and traditions. Not to mention, they’re known worldwide for summoning a jolly old man who will leave you presents? Come on. Christmas cookies are where it’s at.”
“Do you ever bake Christmas cookies?” Lindsey asks.
“At least once a year,” I assure her. “In my book, that’s about the most festive part of Christmas.”
Her smile falters ever so slightly, and she looks down at her hands. “I never learned how to bake,” she admits. “Dad burns just about everything he puts in the oven, though he can cook a mean steak.”
I can hear the unspoken words as clearly as if she’s said them—her mom never took the time to teach her.
“Well, maybe sometime, if your parents don’t mind, you and I can bake Christmas cookies together,” I suggest. I hope I’m not overstepping to suggest it. But it isn’t hard to like Zach’s spirited daughter, and I would never say no to a baking buddy.
“I’d like that,” Lindsey agrees.
Well, I think I’ve delayed my responsibilities as long as I dare.“Care to join me at the party?” I suggest, looking over the railing at my dad’s guests once more.
The chatter has formed a soft din that rises above the cheery holiday music playing in the background, giving the room a general warmth that makes me brave enough to go back in.
“Sure,” Lindsey agrees.
And as we head downstairs, I can’t help but feel grateful for her company. Not only is she fun to talk to, but she’ll provide a nice buffer from the drama unfolding in my life. Because I’m confident all three men will have the good sense not to talk about our very adult situation in front of the thirteen-year-old.
9
ZACHARY
The party is in full swing, the clinking of glasses and the murmur of voices creating a lively hum with Christmas songs playing in the background. The festive smells of cinnamon and peppermint linger in the air, but my mind is far from the joyful mood of the evening. I can’t shake the gnawing feeling that I might have messed up with Mia—again.
Worried, I glance around the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but she’s nowhere to be seen. My heart still feels like lead in my stomach as I play Mia’s quick departure on a loop inside my mind, her expression of intense mortification earlier as she fled like her life depended on it.
I let out a heavy sigh, my stomach knotting with a profound sense of guilt. The fact that she might be carrying my child only adds to the weight of my conscience. She’s too young to be facing the consequences of our wild Halloween night. And though I want to do right by her, I worry that she might not realize I’m her best choice.
I just wish I could talk to her, to put her mind at ease that she made the right decision to come to me. I get why she would tell Luke. She must know him far better than she knows me, seeing as he’s her father’s business partner. But it’s not hard to see the pitfalls of him as a father. And I want her to know that, while she might not know me as well, I’m more than willing to put in the effort.
Then, as if the universe is playing tricks on me, I spot her entering the room once more. She’s not alone, either. To my surprise, she’s accompanied by none other than my stubborn teenage daughter, who had adamantly refused to make an appearance for the social hour earlier. She wanted to stay in the room and mope.
I don’t know how she did it, but I love the fact that Mia managed to talk Lindsey downstairs. The sight of them together warms my heart, the tension in my chest easing at the sight of the two most important women in my life seeming to hit it off.
Mia and Lindsey are deep in conversation, their laughter floating above the crowd as they keep their heads conspiratorially close together. Seeing them like that, I can’t help but feel a surge of hope, an inkling that’s been growing in the back of my mind.
Being with Mia is not just about supporting her because she might be carrying my child. I realize I have genuine feelings for her, and I believe we could actually build a happy family together.
Then, like an unwelcome shadow, I notice Luke standing next to me. His steady gaze is fixed on me, and I can almost feel the disapproval radiating off him.
“Zach, you shouldn’t be in this race,” Luke murmurs, his voice tinged with concern. “Mia is just starting her life, and now she’s got an unexpected pregnancy to deal with. You shouldn’t be trying to bring her into your world with all its complications.”
I turn to look at Luke, frustration and defensiveness rising within me. “Who are you to judge whether my life might be suitable for Mia? She came to me, and in my eyes, that means she trusts that I would be a positive support to her and the baby. Sure, I’ve been through a lot—raising a teenage daughter with an ex-wife who doesn’t give a crap and refuses to make life easy when it comes to shared responsibility. But I know how to navigate things. And Hannah and I have been on cordial enough terms for well over a year now. It shouldn’t affect Mia in the slightest that I have a past. I can be in a relationship and give her and the baby the stability they need. And clearly, she must respect my parenting skills if she came to me.”
Luke narrows his eyes at me, his expression hardening. “Maybe she just didn’t understand her full range of possibilities. But now that she knows, you have to realize that I might be the better option for her. I don’t have a complicated past, an ex who’ll keep causing trouble, or a teenage daughter who might not like the idea of a stepmom. I can provide Mia with a fresh start, a clean slate, and a life without all your baggage.”
I shake my head, the tension between us growing. “It looks to me like Lindsey might be more open to the possibility of a mother figure than you give her credit for. And besides, it’s not just about providing Mia with a clean slate. It’s about recognizing the kind of emotional support and experience she’ll need moving forward, which I can give her since I’ve been down this road before. Meanwhile, you’ve never cared enough about a relationship to even consider children before. And let’s not forget about your work, Luke. You’re so married to it that Mia would practically be a single mother with an extra-large spending allowance. Is that what she needs?”
“You know what? Fuck you, Zach. You want to look down your nose at me about taking my work seriously, but I’m the one who’s been around to see Mia grow into the fine young woman she’s become. And I assure you, she’s more than capable of wrapping her mind around the kind of hours I work.” Luke scowls at me, his face suddenly thunderous.
I release a soft huff in response. “You sure about that?” Zach asks. “Because one of the main reasons Mike and I have grown apart over the years is a particular conversation I had with him after Mia’s mom came to me in tears about the sense of abandonment her daughter felt at never having her father around.”
