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“Yeah, really. I got carried away.” I brush him off and sit on the bench with my head between my legs.
“Bullshit,” he says while taking a seat beside me.
We sit together in silence, and I mull over everything that just happened. The last time I lost control was a few years after we moved away from Shorty. I beat the shit out of some kid bullying a girl that looked just like her. All those feelings came back, and all I wanted to do was hurt someone.
“I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” I snap.
He sighs. “You’re such a stubborn asshole.”
“You need something, or are you just here to annoy the fuck out of me?” I snarl, standing up and walking to the other side of the room. I need to keep distance between us so I don’t take it out on him.
“Yeah, I need you to pull yourself together before you find yourself in a deeper hole than you were in before Shorty was gone.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, really? I think I do. Shorty has been blowing you off and it’s pissing you off.”
I snag the water bottle off the table beside me, begging him to shut the hell up, but he doesn’t.
“You’re spiraling out of control, D.” Ash walks toward me, but I step back further, not trusting myself around him.
“So what? I’ll fucking deal with it like I always do.”
“Oh, yeah? How?”
Being caged like an animal in the Pit and beating a man to a pulp.
Ash doesn’t have to hear the words from me, because by his facial expression, I know he sees the darkness pooling in my eyes. I’m starting to lose myself to the darkness, and only Shorty can pull me out.
“Fuck, D,” Ash breathes out, raking his hands down his face. “I get it, ok?”
“No, you don’t get it, Ash. Just stop talking and leave me alone.”
He takes a few more steps toward me. “I can’t do that, D. You promised me you weren’t going to head down that road again.” His tone is softer this time like the concerned brother he is.
Before I can respond, my phone rings. Ash grabs the phone from the bench press and a scowl appears on his face.
“Seriously? Why is Roman calling you, D?”
I sigh, wrapping the towel tighter around my hand.
“Why is he calling you?” Ash repeats. I can hear the tension in his voice, a sign that he’s holding back his anger.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you, Ash.”
Ash ends the call and throws my phone back on the bench.
Roman is the ringleader of the Pit. The pit is located on Roman’s private property on the outskirts of the city. High paying clients from all over the country place bets on the best fighters, and I happen to be one of Roman’s. Roman only calls his best men to fight, which I’m assuming is the reason he called.
Silence fills the room until his phone goes off, but Ash ignores it. He turns to face me and throws his hands in the air. “I get it, ok? I get it.”
“You don’t get shit, Ash,” I argue, reining in my temper.
“Yeah, I do.” He walks over to me, gripping my shoulders. “You miss her. You don’t know how to handle not being around her. You’re scared she’s going to disappear on you. You love her.”
“Shut up.” I push him off me. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, so just drop it.”
