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"Was there something I could've done to help you stop hurting?"
"No. There was nothing you or anyone could have done. I'm so sorry, Scar." His voice cracks at the end.
"Then why?" I cry and pound my fists against his chest. "Why did you give up? Why?" I scream through my sobs and fall to my knees. With my head in my hands, I cry and rock in place as if it will take away the pain in my heart that seems to find a way to make it a home.
He bends down and embraces me tightly, his arms wrapped around my back. "I never gave up," he whispers, his breath warm against my ear. "Tell Mom and Dad I love them, give Shaun a hug and kiss, and make sure to tell Mav that he better not hurt you or I’ll haunt his ass. And what Tiffany did..."
My head whips up. "Oh, Seth. It wasn't Dad's fault. She—"
"I know." He wipes the tears from my face.
"You know?" I ask, confused.
He nods. "That was my breaking point, sis."
I never knew Seth was depressed and struggling. He seemed to be so happy and carefree growing up. Guilt hits me for missing the signs. I could've helped him stop hurting. He was there for me, returning me to the light when I fell into the darkness. For the longest time, I became a pro at feeling like I was worthless. The longer I believed it, the more it became real. There weren't any magic words or anyone who could heal the darkness in my mind. It took over my body without warning. I didn't have a chance to stop it.
"Hey, hey. Look at me," he coaxes.
I look into his bright blue eyes that I have missed so much. "Nothing is never what it appears to be." He holds his hand out for me to stand, and I take it.
"What do you—ow," I groan, holding my head as a flash of pain explodes.
"We don't have a lot of time. You need to go back and live your life. This world is not ready for you yet."
"What are you talking about?" I let out another groan. A short burst of light flashes in front of me like a strobe light. What the hell is going on?
"As much as I want you to stay, you don't belong here. You need to go back and take care of my nephew."
Lifting my eyes to Seth, his body starts to flutter in and out of focus like it’s flashing, almost as if he is disappearing.
Shaun.Oh, God. I need to get back to him.
"How do I go back?" I ask, blinking erratically.
"You go back to where you came from." He looks over his shoulder. I follow his gaze and notice a bright light shaped like an opening door.
Seth turns back to me. "It's time to go."
I see the sadness in his eyes but they’re mostly filled with regret for leaving us behind and not allowing us to help him. But I don't blame him anymore. Out of all people, I should know how he felt when the world was beginning to be too much to handle. He wanted the pain to stop.
I understand that.
"I don't blame you. Not anymore."
Relief spreads across his face as his eyes fill with tears. I rush into his arms and hold him tight for the last time.
"I love you," I murmur.
"I love you too, Skittles. Now get out of here." He kisses my forehead and leads me toward the door.
"Mav loves you."
I smile.
"He'll take good care of you."
"I know."
