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"Seth, is everything okay with Scar?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly. The mere thought of something happening to Scar filled me with dread. But Seth didn’t answer, leaving me to wonder what was wrong and fearing the worst.
I kneel before Seth, grabbing his shoulders with urgency. I shake him, hoping to snap him out of his daze. "Seth! Please tell me, is Scar alright?" I waited anxiously for his response, my heart pounding in my chest.
As I gazed into his eyes, I noticed tears streaming down his face. Overwhelmed, I stood up and took a few steps back. "No, no, no," I pleaded, my voice cracking with despair.
Seth stood up abruptly, his demeanor shifting from sorrowful to reassuring. "She's fine, she's fine," he said quickly, trying to ease my anxiety.
I breathed out a sigh of relief, my body relaxing after the scare. "Fuck, Seth," I said, my hands finding their way to the back of my neck. "You scared me."
Seth ran his hand down his face, his expression troubled. "She almost died," he said, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.
My heart raced at the implication. "What happened?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as I tried to steady my nerves.
Seth took a deep breath and said, "Man, she's been struggling lately, and I don't know how to help her. I tried to talk to her, but she kinda brushed me off."
I had been aware of Scar's occasional struggles, but I was unaware of the extent of her ongoing battle. She had mastered the art of isolating herself from the world, and it was only after spending more time with her that I began to understand the magnitude of her suffering. She experienced powerful waves of sadness, feelings of worthlessness, and unease that would hit her without warning.
Scar was too scared to ask for help because she didn't want to bother anyone with her problems. She was also afraid of what people might think of her if she admitted she was struggling. She felt it would make her seem weak, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Scar was one of the strongest people I'd ever met.
Seth's expression turned grim as he recounted the previous night's events. "Mom said she has been getting worse and worse, constantly on edge, and sleeping more than usual, so I drove down yesterday.”
He pauses for a second, gathering his thoughts. And then, with a deep breath, he continues, "When I entered her room, I saw her scribbling away in the corner. At first, I thought it was her diary, but when I looked closer, I realized she was writing letters, Mav."
Confusion crept over me as I tried to understand his meaning. Sensing my confusion, he clarified, "They were goodbye letters."
Those words made my heart stop. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Wh-what?" I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper.
"She was going to leave for good," he said, his voice choked with emotion. Seth walked over to the workbench and pulled out a stool to sit on. I followed him but leaned back against his car, needing its support.
I waited patiently as he composed himself and began to speak. His words were heavy with sadness, and I listened intently, nodding as he spoke.
"She had all her pills laid out in front of her." Seth looked away, shaking his head in disbelief. "What if I hadn’t decided to drive down last night to check on her? My sister wouldn't be here now."
I watched as he slumped down, the weight of his emotions too much to bear. He buried his face in his hands and let out gut-wrenching sobs that shook his entire body. Witnessing such raw pain was brutal, reminding me of Scar's struggles. I couldn't help but feel a deep empathy for her, knowing the constant battles she faced to make it through each day.
She was all smiles one minute, acting like everything was cool. But who knows what's going on in someone's head, right? It was tough to know what it was like to feel like you were losing it, pretending to be happy just to avoid questions or keep up appearances, when really you were struggling with all sorts of stuff you kept inside.
As Seth lifted his head to look at me, his eyes were filled with fear, his face etched with worry. I could tell that he was genuinely worried about Scar, and it was clear that her well-being was weighing heavily on his mind. After he finished sharing his thoughts, I took a deep breath and tried to offer some advice, hoping that I could provide him with some comfort and reassurance.
"First of all, Seth, I want you to know that you are doing everything possible to help Scar. The fact that you are willing to do anything to help her shows that you are a great brother. She’s lucky to have you by her side. And please know that I am here to support you and Scar in any way I can," I said,
I couldn't help but notice the grateful look in Seth's eyes as he turned to me. "Thank you," he whispered.
"Let her know you are there for her, no matter what. Maybe try and do something together that you both enjoy. Spending time with her and letting her know she matters," I suggested.
Seth nodded, seeming to take in my words. "Thank you. I'll try that," he said.
"I need you to do me a favor," he added.
I nodded. "Anything."
He looked into my eyes and urgently said, "Listen, no matter what happens, you gotta promise me you'll never stop being there for her. She's gonna put up a fight, but you gotta fight harder. And please, please make sure she knows that she's worth it. That she's worth fighting for." His eyes were watery as he spoke.
"I know you care about her as much as I do."
Seth stood up and looked at me directly. "Listen, man. I know you care for her a lot. You'd do anything to keep her safe, right?" I nodded. "Good. 'Cause I trust you, bro. I really do. Just promise me you'll always be there for her when I can't. Alright?"
"I promise," I rasped, my throat dry and scratchy.
