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“Grieved?” I managed to ask.
“Yes. Because if I told you about my role as kingslayer, I was hoping that would give me the right to ask, given you are wearing the collar I gave you, does that mean what I think it does?”
All thoughts of my nickname died as I puffed up, turning red with embarrassment, while leaning into him once again. “Um.”
Noctus laughed—making a pleasant rumble I felt since I was tipped against his chest. “You’d better speak your mind, Amalourne. What does it mean?” He pressed his head close to mine, his breath fanning across my ear and neck. “Unless this is something else you’d rather wait to discuss.”
“No, we don’t have to wait,” I gulped.
“Oh? Then what does it signify?”
“It means yes,” I blurted out. “Yes, I want the bond. Yes, I want to be with you.”
“As my queen?” Noctus asked as he shifted, somehow drawing me closer.
I babbled—literally: I couldn’t summon the brain cells to say actual words.
“Because you would be queen—a very different sort from what perhaps I initially imagined since Calor Villa will be revealing itself,” Noctus continued. “But being bonded to me would make it unavoidable.”
“Queen seems like an awfully important role to give someone who couldn’t even get a job at the Curia Cloisters,” I said.
“Is that a no?”
“No, it’s an ‘I’m questioning the wisdom of this,’ but if that’s the only way we can be together…” I trailed off.
“Then you wish to renew the bond?” Noctus asked.
I nodded.
Noctus said nothing, waiting in silence.
Ah, he needs to hear it.
I shifted so I could peer up at Noctus, unflinchingly meeting his hazel eyes. “Yes, Noctus. I want to renew the bond. I love you, and I’ll do whatever is necessary as part of loving you. Even if that means being a queen.”
A small part of me wanted to hyperventilate at the idea, but what I’d said was true.
I’d been prepared to give up so much more to be with Noctus. Granted, being queen means I’ll be submerged in the politics I’ve spent years avoiding, but if that’s what I must do in order to have both my family and Noctus, I’ll do it. I am definitely unprepared for it, but I’ll have Noctus, Charon, Ker, and Aristide to help me and make sure I don’t fumble things too badly. Besides…being queen might put me in a position to make their transition to going public easier since I’m a shadow, but that might be an overestimation of my personal power.
Noctus paused. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait to hear more of my past?”
“Like I said earlier, it’s not necessary. I know who you are, Noctus. That’s all I need.”
Noctus brushed his fingers against the base of my throat. “Then…may I?”
I sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled. “Yes. Please renew our bond.”
Noctus gently pulled the collar-necklace up my neck, the pads of his fingers scraping my skin. He pulled it over my head, then studied it for a moment before threading it through his fingers and stretching it wide again.
When he reached to slip it back over my head, I leaned away from him. “Don’t you have to reactivate it?”
“Yes, by putting it on you myself,” Noctus said.
“You don’t need to say anything?”
Noctus blinked. “No.”
“You don’t have to give it a spark of magic or anything?”
