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“Yes,” Noctus said. “And we were slowly losing our ability to interact with wild magic.”
“Like what’s happening now?” I asked. “Everyone is freaking out because wild magic is dying out.”
“Not the same, but similar, yes,” Noctus said. “Power struggles bring death, which inevitably brings the loss of magic.” He laughed—a broken sound. “You’d think someone would have come up with a different plan by now, but no. Brokenness begets brokenness, I suppose.”
“Your family wouldn’t have listened if you’d talked to them about it,” I said. “Ker and Aristide made it clear, they only cared about power and blood.”
“Maybe,” Noctus said. “Or maybe it’s because supernaturals still don’t value humans, and magic will abandon them for it.”
That doesn’t make sense, though, because as it’s dying off, it’s leaving humans, too.I wasn’t going to argue this point, this wasn’t about the state of supernaturals, but Noctus and a burden that had plagued him for years.
“I’ve wondered if there was another way I could have taken. Something else I could have done to turn elves off their single-minded quest to dominate humans,” Noctus said. “That night…wild magicsangto me. It wanted me to do something. So I did what I knew: bloodshed.”
I started to shake my head, but Noctus interrupted me. “No, it really was all that I knew at the time, Chloe. If you listen to Aristide and Kerberos, they’ll paint me as a tragic hero, but there was nothing noble about the slaughter I created that night. It was necessary to stop the plans of all the royal elven families, and I don’t regret it, but so many innocents were killed in the massacre that followed as supernaturals won the war. There were elves who wanted nothing to do with the subjugation of humans. They just wanted to live peacefully. Yet, they were forced to pay for the greed of those who ruled over them.”
“And that’s why you’re obsessed with being the most dutiful, perfect king,” I said. “Because you feel like you owe it to the elves of Calor Villa.”
Noctus finally looked at me. “Yes.”
“Even though, if your predictions were right, what you did was the only way to save them?”
“Yes.” Noctus raised his hand—as if he meant to touch me—then abruptly dropped it again. “I’ve wondered in the centuries that followed, was it really the onlyway? It seemed to be at the time.”
“Noctus, you can’t spend your life torturing yourself because you aren’t perfect,” I said. “You acted—to save them, to save magic. No, it wasn’t a moment that should be reveled in—there’s never any glory in bloodshed. But youprotected. Prydwen’s daughter who offered me the strawberry when I was Ama? She exists because of you.Iprobably exist because of you—if the elves had won I doubt even the best shadows would have been able to stay hidden.”
I dropped his arm and linked my hands around his neck, desperately trying to ground him. “What is it that makes you so cynical about that?”
Noctus wrapped his arms tightly around me, as if he thought I was going to run. “Because I killed my family. And I never heard wild magic address me again after that night.”
That’s what this is about. He thinks because wild magic didn’t speak to him, he did wrong. Even though he knows there weren’tanygood options at the time.
“I should correct myself. I never heard wild magic again,” Noctus continued. “Until the day I picked you up, a beleaguered cat taken hostage by local fae.”
I blinked in surprise. “Really?”
“Yes,” Noctus said. “It smugly sang the entire time you were under my roof. And then it wailed like a banshee after you left, day in, day out.” Noctus squeezed me, before relaxing his hold on me. “I tried to save you from me, you know.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Wild magic encouraged my plan to bond you to me. Even after I realized you were a shadow, it sang in your presence and pushed me to you. There’s no way being with me could be any kind of advantage for you, which is why I tried to give you up, but it seems my nearly endless strength runs out when it comes to you.”
“No advantage?” I laughed. “Noctus, you’re filthy rich, you’re aking, and no one could protect me better. You have every advantage anyone could ever offer, believe me.”
“Except I am the king of the race that decided to kill shadows, and from the very family line that was sent to exterminate your race,” Noctus pointed out.
At this point, I would have happily strangled wild magic—if it was physically possible. Howdareit guilt Noctus like this? In fact, I was sorry I’d ever thought that hearing it was pretty!
“Noctus, that was hundreds of years ago. You might be an immortal, but most of the world is not. Dragging that kind of burden, harboring rage over it for so many years, won’t be any good for anyone. You just forget that because Ker, the only mortal you’ve known for all these years, is being kept alive by you and Aristide!”
Noctus tilted his head.
“And did it ever occur to you that perhaps wild magic wasn’t so excited to see me because I am a shadow, as much as it was excited thatyouwere choosing to adopt a pet because you wanted one? You were actively seeking out a tiny creature for the sole reason of wanting to be loved—and don’t lie to me, because I heard nearly every time you complained that I wasn’t warming up fast enough because you had high expectations of your annoying animal magnetism powers!”
Noctus probably wanted to say something by this point, but I was really on a roll. “Maybe it was never about me, about what I was. Maybe it was all about what wild magic wanted for you. If I was magic’s favorite as you like to say, then whywould it be onboard with you bonding to me if it was so angry with you?”
I strained, standing on my tiptoes so I was just a little bit taller as I peered up at him. “Maybe wild magic loves youmore—and don’t you dare say you’re unlovable because I, Noctus Mors, happen to be unbelievably in love with you!”
Noctus raised an eyebrow. “Even after everything I’ve told you?”
