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“Bye.” I ended the call, put my phone and beer on the counter, and turned to face him. Holy moly, he was wearing his black Stetson and a tight white T-shirt. “You startled me, cowboy.”
“I knocked, then let myself in when you didn’t answer. I was hoping to catch you in the shower.” He issued me a sexy wink. “I’m bummed you’re wearing clothes and not dripping wet.”
“Oh, I’m wet.” I lifted onto my tiptoes and kissed him. Instant guilt slapped me across the face. I pulled back and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Christ, because of Rocky?” Tomcat went to the fridge and got a beer. He twisted the cap off and guzzled it.
I swallowed thickly, eyeing his Adam’s apple. “Yes. He was here a little bit ago.”
“He was?”
“Yeah. He wanted to talk, but I didn’t see the point. He admitted to cheating on me.”
“Then why can’t we, you know…” He whistled and nudged his head toward my bedroom.
“Uncle Tomcat!” Rockson ran to him.
“He’s why.” And I was all mixed up about Rocky.
“Hey, buddy. How’s it going?” He rustled Rockson’s wavy hair.
“Good. Wanna play with my superheroes? I’ll let you be Captain America. He’s Mommy’s favorite.”
Tomcat’s gaze darted to mine. “Might as well, since Mommy doesn’t want to play with me.”
“Jerk.” I grinned and swiped my beer off the counter. “You’re not the only one suffering, you know.”
“What’s she talking about?” Rockson asked.
“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” He guided my son away.
Tomcat,Cade, would be a terrific dad if he’d just settle down. But not with me. It became evident today that my heart still belonged to another, and so did Tomcat’s.
The worst part was that I wanted Rocky even though I hated him. His presence had awakened my dormant, dark-depraved side, the one I’d embraced withonlyhim. I had never let Tomcat or anyone else dominate me, bind my hands, or blindfold me. Sex with Tomcat had been satisfying, but it had been generic and unimaginative with the others.
I missed wild, crazy, and kinky sex. Couldn’t I have that with someone else?
Would I ever be able to move on from Rocky? Or was I cursed to spend the rest of my life alone?
25
Rocky (RJ)
When Tomcat had left the clubhouse, so had I. I had to know if he was going to Ella’s place again. I had no idea what I’d do if he was spending the night with her, but I knew I couldn’t drive by for a second time and do nothing.
Regardless of the anger and hatred between us, Ella wasmine. Her name had not only been permanently inked on my cock but also carved into my heart and soul. No amount of hate and disgust would change the fact that she belonged tome.Me, me, me.
Tomcat couldn’t have my woman. Neither could Vegas or any other goddamn man. If I had to police her and her junky trailer for the rest of my life, I would. Any fucker who attempted to put his puny dick inside her would die a painful death.
I might not remember everything about being with Ella, but I would. I was on a mission to regain all of my memories, which was why I’d come to her place after following Tomcat out of town, in the opposite direction of Ella’s home. She would be alone tonight, and I needed to be near her. The more time I spent with her, the faster I might remember us together.
I crept around the yard, scanning for any possible threat. I’d parked my truck on the side road, half a block down, so I wouldn’t disturb her slumber.
The rickety steps swayed and creaked. I gritted my teeth and held my breath. I couldn’t recall if Ella had been a light sleeper.
Fuck, I hated how the tumor had destroyed my life. That fucker had caused me a great deal of pain. I’d lost five years with Ella. We could’ve been married now, with five little Rockys driving us crazy. I would’ve kept her plump with my baby inside her belly.
I took a second to imagine her pregnant. She would have been gorgeous, and I was positive she rocked motherhood. Her little boy looked healthy and happy—and guarded when he’d seen me. His gray eyes were like mine, the same shape, same intensity. Even the way his little ears poked out was a distinctive trait from my mom’s side.
