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“I hate you,” I spat in her face. “I fucking hate you.”
“Don’t say that, Papa!” Cole punched the back of my legs. I so didn’t need this right now. “Cole, stop.”
Of course, he didn’t. “Don’t say hate.”
I bent down and grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him. “Listen to me.”
“Rocky, don’t. Please don’t,” Irisah begged.
“You’re a terrific little boy. But look at me. We’re very different, aren’t we?” I patted my brown hair, which was different from his ginger color.
He nodded.
“That’s because I’m not your papa. I wish I was. All those years I spent loving you like my own son, I had a little boy here I didn’t know about. His name is Rockson, and he turns five in a couple of months.”
A tear skittered out of Cole’s hazel eyes. “I’m not your son?”
I pulled him into my arms, hating how I was hurting him. But he needed to know the truth. “No, Cole. I’m sorry. I’m not your father, but I want you to know if you ever need anything, you can come to me for help.”
“Oh, sure. Confuse him after you just broke his heart.” The words flew out of Irisah’s mouth like a spray from a skunk’s ass, marking me for life.
I could punch the bitch in the face. I didn’t do this. She and Vegas were to blame. “Will you go back to the bar so I can finish talking to your mom?”
He nodded.
I hugged him again. “Remember, you can count on me, Cole.”
He left with his head hanging, and it about killed me.
“Where’s his dad?” I shoved Irisah against the wall. “I know you know.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re lying. Tell me, or I will find out myself and ruin your life right back.”
“Jail. Okay? His dad is in jail.”
“That’s convenient.”
“You’re such a jackass,” she hissed. “It was a one-night stand. Just meaningless sex. I didn’t feel I needed to tell him about Cole.”
“If that’s true, how do you know he’s in jail?”
She blinked back tears.
“Because you did go to find him, didn’t you? You went hoping he’d want to be a part of his kid’s life, but he was locked up. So, you latched onto me when I couldn’t remember shit. You make me sick.”
“You make me sick too.”
“Good. Now get the fuck out of my life, and stay gone.” I stormed out the back, hopped onto my Harley, and got the hell out of there. I needed to find Ella and dig myself out of the grave I so stupidly had thrown myself into.
And where the fuck was everyone? The bar was mostly empty, and church should already be in progress.
Fuck, I had the worst crew on the planet.
I zoomed past Apple Andy’s and was hit with nostalgia. I could taste apple pie on my tongue. Felt Ella’s warm body against mine and heard her laughter. I’d fallen head over heels in love with her the first day I’d seen her.
She’d been a spitfire and had had a curious dark flicker of light in her green eyes. I’d never felt totally comfortable with anyone as I had with Ella. I could be myself with her. Lure her into my dark desires, and she wouldn’t look at me like I was a nutjob. She’d embraced my sexual taste.
