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I cut him off. “Look at him Chaos,” I say in a hard tone.
“I am!” he shouts.
“No, you’re avoiding seeing what is right in front you. Look at him!” I shout. Chaos’s gun begins to shake as he slowly lowers his gaze to his brother’s, meeting his twin’s lifeless eyes and his breath hitches. Tense minutes pass by as we all stand by and wait for the weight of Havoc’s loss to hit him.
“Havoc, Chaos?” At the sound of their names being called by their father, I spin around to see the rest of the Murdoch family rushing toward us. Knight and Koby lead with Rook, Gage, King, Bishop, Kiara, Anya, Allison and Clare following close behind. They all slow to a walk at the sight of us. I step aside so they can see.
“Oh God,” comes from Koby as her knees buckle. Bishop rushes forward to grab his sister in law before she can hit the ground. Knight’s wide eyes are trained on his sons. Disbelief is evident is his gaze as he slowly inches forward on shaky legs. “My baby!” Koby screams in agony. Bishop holds her close as screams tear from her, the sound will haunt me for the rest of my life. Chaos lifts his gun and points it at his father as he draws near, but Knight either doesn’t see it or just ignores it as he drops to his knees in front of his twins.
“Don’t you fucking cry, he’s fine. He just needs to rest, he… he just… he’s fucking…” Chaos chokes out, I see it in his eyes. He’s starting to feel the loss now that he has allowed himself to finally see what is in front of him.
CHANEL
Royal clasps my hand in his as we stand here breaking internally for our Chaos, the loss we feel is nothing compared to the loss Chaos feels. Havoc and Chaos weren’t just brothers, they were twins. Each of them loved the other more than they could ever love another. Uncle Knight reaches out and places his fingertips on the tops of his son’s eyes and draws his lids down, closing them for the last time. His shoulders begin to shake with silent tears. Chaos stares at his father in horror. The moment he finally accepts the loss of his brother can be seen when the anger in his gaze vanishes and is replaced by pain. He looks like a broken little boy as he sits there with his twin clutched against his chest.
“Dad,” Chaos cries out. Within a second, Uncle Knight has the distance between them erased and holds both his boys to him as they cry. Aunt Koby staggers over to them looking like a pale ghost. Her knees give out beside her husband. She says nothing as she reaches for her son and tries to pry him from Chaos, but he won’t let go. “No, he stays with me–”
“He is my fucking baby. You give me my son now, Chaos. He is your brother but he is half my fucking heart and soul. I gave him life. Now, you give him to me so I can hold my baby boy.” Her words have Chaos releasing his hold slowly. She pulls Havoc in close and buries her face in the crook of his neck, a gut wrenching scream tearing from her as she clutches her son’s body to her.
I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and look up with tear filled eyes to see Kacey standing there. I don’t think as I bury my face in his chest and cry for my cousin. I hear my other aunts and uncles close in on us but I can’t bring myself to come out of the safety of Kacey’s chest. If I hide in here long enough maybe I can trick myself into thinking this is all a bad dream, and when I wake up tomorrow, Havoc will be in the kitchen cooking breakfast with London, mocking me about having sex hair.
I don’t know how much time passes before Aunt Koby’s screams finally quiet down. The pain in her screams kills me inside. I should have taken the shot sooner… if I did, Havoc would still be here!
“Aunt Koby?” At the sound of Amelia’s voice, I pull away from Kacey and watch my cousin step forward with three men and a woman trailing after her with a stretcher. Aunt Koby eyes the strangers. Uncle Knight stands and blocks his wife and sons from view as he faces off with his eldest niece. “Uncle Knight–”
“Who the fuck are they, Amelia?” he cuts in and snaps, his tone holding a cold edge.
Amelia doesn’t bat an eye at his tone. “They are friends of mine and the best at their jobs. They are here to take Havoc–”
“Touch my brother and I’ll slit your fucking throats!” The three men visibly pale at Chaos’s threat.
Not one to be deterred, Amelia pushes on. “They will treat Havoc with the utmost care, they will make sure he is cared for—”
“I said no!” Chaos screams.
“Knight?” Aunt Koby whispers. He spins around and kneels down beside his wife who has Havoc’s head resting in her lap as she runs her fingers through his hair.
“What is it, baby?” Uncle Knight asks gently.
“This isn’t like when Rook went missing, is it?” I dart my gaze toward Uncle Rook and feel sympathy for him when his chin meets his chest.
Uncle Knight clears his throat. “No, baby. I would give anything for it to be like that just so I knew our son would come back, but I can’t lie to you.” Aunt Koby lifts her tear stained face to her husbands.
“My baby is really gone,” she sobs out. Uncle Knight reaches out and grips the back of her head pulling her to him so he can rest his forehead against hers.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to save our boy.” The devastation and regret in my uncle's voice has a lump forming in my throat. He pulls back and stares into his wife’s eyes for a minute before he says, “Bishop, Royal, King, Gage, I need you to hold Chaos.” Aunt Koby’s mouth opens but he pushes on. “Rook, Vincent, I need you to hold Koby.”
“Fuck you!” Chaos screams as my uncles and cousin grab him, dragging him back a few steps.
“You touch my baby and I’ll fucking kill you!” Aunt Koby screams as Uncle Rook and Dad gently restrain her as Uncle Knight climbs to his feet and turns to Amelia, ignoring the screams and threats coming from his son and wife.
“I go with him. I will not leave his side for a second. I failed my son in life but I will be dammed if I fucking fail him in death.” Amelia nods and motions for the four strangers to step forward. I stand here numb and angry as I watch Havoc be lifted on the bed and covered in a red velvet blanket. Amelia nods to her friends then they begin to wheel Havoc away with Uncle Knight following after him. The sight of his brother leaving is what finally breaks Chaos.
“Dad, please!” he begs. “Don’t take him, I swear to God I’ll never fail him again just please… don’t take him!” Sobs rip out of him as my uncle ignores him and motions for the undertakers to continue wheeling him out. Aunt Koby is a mess in my dad and uncle’s arms. To my utter shock, Kacey pulls away from me and heads straight for Chaos who is thrashing to get free. Kacey reaches out and places a hand on his chest and to my shock, Chaos stops fighting.
“I know you are dying inside right now, but your mother needs you. Pull it together until your father gets back to take over.” Chaos snaps his head to the side to see his mother on her knees screaming for her son. “Go to her, she lost one son already tonight. Allow her to see Havoc through you. Give her the comfort of seeing your brother in your eyes.” Immediately Chaos stands tall and his cries stop as his arms are released. He says nothing as he passes Kacey, scoops his mother into his arms and heads for the house.
* * *
