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Chaos took his mother to Havoc’s room where they have holed up. I left Kacey to be treated by Amelia as I escaped to my room to clean up. I’ve been standing under the spray of the shower, praying that it can wash away the crippling pain inside me. When the pain becomes too much, my legs give out and I drop to the floor sobbing and crying out at the injustice of this whole fucking situation! I want to blame Kacey for being the reason for this fight today. Another part wants to blame Royal for taking too long to get to us and for not checking the cars. If he did, London wouldn’t have been able to sneak into the back. I blame myself most of all for not taking the shot sooner.
“Ah, baby,” I hear from behind me a second before a cold draft hits my naked back. A minute later Kacey is at my back shirtless and only in a pair of jeans. He wraps his good arm around my waist and draws me flush against his front. He says nothing as I cry in his hold. By the time I get my tears under control, my eyes are puffy and my throat is hoarse. I turn around and face Kacey. He reaches up and cups my cheek in his hand, I melt into his touch. “I am so fucking sorry, Chanel.”
“Don’t be sorry, just make me forget for a minute. I need to not feel this pain, Kacey—” He grips the back of my head and hauls me forward, claiming my mouth in a heated kiss filled with love, passion and pain for my loss. I ignore the last one and focus on the fire in my veins he is igniting with this kiss. I need this escape just for a moment. I shift and straddle his lap, reach between our bodies, not breaking the kiss, as I clumsily fumble with the button on his jeans. On the third attempt, I manage to get it undone. I yank his fly down and reach into his boxers, pulling his hard cock free. He groans into my mouth, no foreplay needed. I just need to feel him inside me, consuming me until I’m mindless and can’t feel anything but him.
He breaks the kiss and stares directly into my eyes. Sky blue eyes meet coffee brown. “Fuck me, Chanel.” Kacey doesn’t need me to tell him that I need him to take the lead, right now he knows I need him to be in charge and tell me what to do so I don’t think. “Put my cock inside that fucking pussy now, baby.” I rise on my knees and line him up with my opening. We keep our eyes locked on each other as I slowly sink down onto him, relishing in the burn of him stretching me out to accommodate his size. I cry out the moment he is balls deep inside me.
“Kacey,” I breathe out.
“Shut the fuck up and bounce up and down on my cock,” he growls. I brace my hands on the tiled wall behind him as I do just that. This isn’t slow or sweet, this is me needing to use him as an escape. He leans his head forward and captures my nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak as I cry out.
“Fuck, yes, Kacey. I’m gonna come.” He bands his good arm around my waist and takes over thrusting inside me. “Kacey!” I scream as I come. He pulls his cock free mid orgasm so I can squirt all over his cock.
“Put it back in now!” he snaps. I fumble to grab his cock and put it back inside me thanks to the aftershocks tearing through me. Kacey doesn’t give a fuck that I am boneless in his hold, he continues to fuck me, forcing me up and down on his cock. “One more, baby. Come one more time for me.”
“Just like that, fuck, Kacey, don’t stop,” I moan. I manage to regain control of my body and meet his thrusts, slamming down hard onto his waiting cock chasing my release.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. I need you to come with me.” His words spur me on. I grind down on his cock, riding him like a crazed animal. I come so fucking hard I swear I nearly black out. Kacey comes deep inside me with my name on his lips. I flop forward as tremors wrack through my body. He cuddles me against his chest as his cock continues to twitch inside me.
* * *
After Kacey and I got cleaned up, I help him into a pair of sleep pants and curl up beside him, but sleep still evades me as I stare up at the ceiling. My phone vibrates on the tables beside me. I untangle myself from Kacey and quietly slip out of bed to check my phone.
Royal
You up?
Me
Yeah, you good?
Royal
No, I need you, Sin.
Without hesitation I quietly creep out of my room and make my way downstairs. The clock on the wall reads three in the morning. I follow the dim light from the kitchen and frown when I find it empty, but I spot two shadows out back on the patio. I slip out the back door quietly and make my way over to them. I drop down on the other side of Chaos and lean my head on his shoulder. He still wears the same clothes that are covered in Havoc’s blood. Royal reaches over and passes me an open bottle of Whiskey. I grab it and take a deep pull, relishing the burn as the alcohol slides down my throat. The three of us sit here passing the whiskey around without uttering a word. When that bottle is empty, Royal magically makes another appear.
When the darkness begins to fade and we see the sun cresting on the horizon, emotions begin to swirl inside me as reality comes crashing down around me. Havoc is gone. This isn’t some movie where he will suddenly come strolling around the corner shouting‘gotcha!’We will never see him smile, crack a joke or scare the piss out of his brother, but what I will miss most is his presence. He was always our rock, silent and lurking in the shadows but always there.
“He’s gone,” Chaos rasps out. Royal wraps his arm around Chaos’s shoulders as I rest my head against him. He shakes with silent tears and within seconds, Royal and I are both sharing in his grief and crying along with him. “He was the better one, he should be here, not me.”
“Don’t do that, man. Havoc would never want that and you know it,” Royal scolds him gently.
“I can’t do this shit without him. It’s always been him and me, from the day we were born, he’s always been there. He’s always fucking been there…” His sentence trails off as tears grab a hold of him.
“We will never know the immense pain you are suffering through right now, but we loved Havoc like a brother, you know that. Royal and I will be by your side every step of the way. We got you, always.” I hope he hears the truth in my words because I mean it. Whatever he needs we will be there.
“My mom can’t even look at me.” I wrap my arm around his waist and lean into him further. “All night she has been trying to call my dad but he’s ignoring her calls. When she isn’t calling dad she’s sniffing Havoc’s clothes and calling out his name like he is just going to magically fucking appear! He is never coming back,” he screams out, then breaks downs again.
“Let it out. Get it all out now, because come morning, you are going to quit crying and hold your mother through this. When she finally leaves and we are alone,wewill hold you while you break.”
The sound of the back door opening draws my attention. Through the haze of my tears I see Kacey and Erika coming toward us, with blankets and cups of coffee. Erika wraps blankets around each of us while Kacey hands us each a cup of steamy goodness. The three of us exchange a look as Erika sits down beside Royal and Kacey claims the spot beside me. We each share a small smile as we fill our cups with the remainder of the whiskey. The five of us stay out here watching the sunrise.
“My mom used to tell me that you can make a wish as the sun rises, but this wish must be said out loud so the sun can hear you.” I look over at Erika to find Royal looking at her in surprise. She never speaks about her parents much, so any tiny detail she shares I know my cousin cherishes.
“I wish Havoc ever lasting peace in the afterlife,” Kacey says solemnly.
“I wish for everyone to be able to overcome this tragedy,” Erika utters quietly.
