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I’m not sure how Declan is going to react, but I can’t worry about that right now.
The first step is to get Saoirse alone and to talk to her. If she’s moved on or if she no longer wants me it’s going to make the whole thing a lot more difficult. I still won’t give up. I need her, and I have a feeling she needs me just as much. It’ll just make everything harder.
You should never fight a war on two fronts and having to convince Saoirse that I’m hers just as much as she is mine while getting Declan on our side would feel nearly impossible. I’d find a way, but things will be a little easier if I don’t have to battle my woman.
She’s strong-willed though, and I have no doubt she’s going to give me hell for the distance I’ve put between us. She’ll be right to do it. I’ll make it up to her.
Hopefully making it up to her will involve her naked and writhing with my tongue buried in her pretty cunt. My cock throbs at the thought, and I’m tempted as hell to sit down and jerk off to thoughts of my pretty little redheaded princess.
Fuck, she was beautiful before she left, and I know the pictures I’ve seen won’t do her justice.
When my phone rings, I stop pacing and stand in the middle of my living room. Has my place always felt this empty? Or have I only noticed since my woman has been gone? Was it always so damn quiet?
The shrill sound of my phone has me shaking my head as I answer. “Jamie,” my voice is curt because I’m right on the fucking edge here. I need to see Saoirse.
“We’ve landed and she’s headed home with Declan. I assume the woman he introduced Saoirse to is Roisin,” he gets right to the point, which I appreciate.
I’m supposed to be the one who is always cool under pressure, but right now I feel like I’m about to lose my fucking mind. I can’t keep this up.
“Good. Thank you,” I clip.
I don’t need to know anything else and I’m sure Jamie is eager to go to his place and not be on duty for a little while. When Saoirse goes back to California, he’ll be going with her, but he hasn’t been home for months. No one is waiting for him there, but he’s still earned the downtime. I hope he likes the bottle of Hammond Whiskey I left for him as a thank you.
The moment I hang up, I’m uncertain about what I should do next. Everything inside of me is screaming to go to Declan’s house. It wouldn’t be unusual for me to be there, but not while Saoirse is there. At least not in the last few years.
I’m antsy as fuck. It’s the same feeling I get right before I step into the ring—a mix of adrenaline and knowing exactly what to do. The dichotomy of it rankles my fucking nerves. How can I be so sure and yet so keyed up at the same time?
“Fuck it,” I mutter and grab my keys before slipping on my jacket and practically bolting out my door.
I don’t live in the same fancy neighborhood Declan lives in, but it’s not far and my home wasn’t cheap by any means. It’s the first place I’ve owned which means something to me. It’s mine, a sanctuary from the shit we deal with daily. Within my walls I’m not the right-hand man of the most powerful man in the city. I’m just me, a scrappy kid who grew up and made something more of himself.
I’m trying to tuck all the nervousness away as I pull up to Declan’s home. He went to pick up Saoirse himself and did not take his driver. It just goes to show you how special his sister is to him.
I’m the guy who is going to be dirtying her up if I get my way. If Declan knew what was in my fantasies about her, he would lock her away and throw away the key. He sure as hell wouldn’t let me into his home with open arms.
But that’s exactly what he’s going to do because I’m a coward and didn’t tell him months ago that Saoirse is mine.
Now I’m paying for it on all fronts and I’m losing this war.
When I get to the front door, I knock and step back to wait. There was a time when I wouldn’t knock at all, but I’ll be damned if I walk in on Declan and Roisin going at it. I couldn’t blame them since they’re in their own home, but I still don’t want to see it.
Then there’s the other matter about me valuing my life. Declan will kill anyone who sees Roisin with passion written on her face. He doesn’t have to say it for me to know because I’ll be the same way with Saoirse.
Declan is the one to open the door and by the smirk on his face and his raised eyebrow, he’s not at all surprised to see me today. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
Fuck. First rule when going somewhere you haven’t been invited, make sure you have an excuse ready to go. It’ll help you with an awkward as hell conversation. Like this one. Because I do not have an excuse.
“I didn’t realize I needed a reason to come and see you,” I keep my voice light, but by the way he arches an eyebrow at me, he’s not buying it. I shrug one shoulder as if what I’m about to say is no big deal. “I figured it would be good for me to stop by and make sure Saoirse got in okay.”
As if I don’t already know.
As if every cell in my body isn’t aware my woman is inside this house right now. She might as well still be in California with how much distance is between us.
I’m going to fix it. I have to.
Something flashes across Declan’s face, but it’s gone before I can figure out what it is. He steps back and opens the door a little wider for me. “Of course, you’re like a brother to her.”
I try not to wince as I walk past him. I’m not her fucking brother. Sure, there was a time when it was true, but it hasn’t been for a long time now.
