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Declan’s office is decked out with holiday decorations to the point that it looks like a normal Christmas party. I guess, for the most part, it is. Except for the shadows in the corners of my brother’s business you don’t want to look at too closely.
It’s been so damn good to be home. I’ve bonded with Roisin and feel close to her. Seeing my brother so happy has lifted a weight from my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there.
Then there’s what has been going on with Conor. Being with him, as a couple, is everything I could have dreamed of. He’s snuck into my room late at night for the last few days and we’ve held each other while talking, sometimes before he’s rocked my fucking world and sometimes after.
I almost can’t believe it’s real. I swear I’m about to wake up to find it’s all been a dream.
Last night he was holding me and murmured, “I wish I could take you to the party tomorrow night, but I’ll meet you there.” He looked down at me, his eyes so fucking earnest, “Will that be okay,mo bhanphrionsa?”
I stroked my fingers along his beard and nodded. “I get it. It’s not a problem.” I arched an eyebrow, and teased him, “I’ll be wearing the dress I was going to try on when you followed me into the fitting room the other day.”
He groaned and then the next thing I knew I was underneath him and he was making me see stars. Can it get any better than that? I don’t fucking think so.
Declan has been watching me very closely the last few days. I wonder if it’s because he suspects something is going on with Conor or if it’s something else. I’ve been keeping secrets, a lot of them. I’ve never been good at keeping secrets when it comes to my brother.
He always knew when I was up to no good. I don’t think that’s changed.
Christmas is only a few days away and I’m looking forward to it since I’ve gotten my holiday sparkle back. I guess the place you are really does matter. I ran so far, and I thought I did it for the right reasons, but I was wrong.
But, then again, I don’t know if Conor would have gotten his head out of his ass if I didn’t go across the country for school. Maybe he would have, eventually. Not that it matters, I’m glad he did.
I smile at Ronan, who has been in my life even longer than Conor. Declan and Ronan grew up together and Ronan’s father worked for my dad. He’s always been around, and he runs security for Declan now. It’s the same position his father had, and I swear you can feel the pride coming off the man.
There are two sides to Ronan. Normally he’s lighthearted and quick to make a joke, but then there are other times when you can see the monster in his eyes. The one that does the dirty work Declan needs him to do.
Ronan’s voice is teasing, “Can you believe he finally found a woman willing to put up with him?”
I laugh and feel eyes burning against my skin, starting at my legs, and moving up my body slowly. Conor and I have been dancing around each other all night and it’s turning me on. It’s almost too much to handle.
“I’m glad he found someone normal. Roisin is good for him. I really like her,” I lower my voice a little, not wanting to show too much vulnerability to everyone.
I can with Ronan though, he really is like my big brother. He was there the first time I scraped my knee and wouldn’t stop crying. While Declan cleaned off my knee, Ronan was the one making funny faces and trying to get me to smile.
I glance around the room, knowing Conor is part of the crowd right now, and freeze. I cock my head to the side as I take in a guy across the room. He looks familiar and not just because he works for my brother. It’s something else.
Something right there at the edge of my memory. I try and grasp it, but it’s like it disappears between my fingers like vapor.
I look at Ronan who is keeping his face blank. Odd. I nod toward the guy and ask out of the side of my mouth, “Who is that guy? He looks familiar to me, but I can’t place him.”
“Oh, that’s Jamie,” Ronan’s voice is smooth. “You probably recognize him from last year’s party. He hasn’t been with us for long, but he’s good at his job.”
It takes everything in me to not ask what his job is. I learned a long time ago asking questions like that isn’t appropriate. Not with this crowd at least.
I make a humming sound and push away the feeling that I’ve seen Jamie before, and it wasn’t at the Christmas party last year. He looks right at home here, but I know I saw him somewhere else. The more I try and figure it out, the farther away the answer seems.
Ronan leans a little closer and my attention snaps to him. He wiggles his eyebrows at me, and I can’t help but smile at his antics. “Be honest, how many broken hearts did you leave in Cali?”
I gasp in mock outrage and shake my head at him. “None.” He arches an eyebrow like he doesn’t believe me, and I sigh. “There was one guy who seemed interested in me, but the feeling was not mutual. I don’t know, I just,” my words trail off because I’m not entirely sure what to say.
Ronan whispers, “You were just pining for a certain someone, huh?”
This time my gasp is not in jest at all. My eyes widen as I look up at him and start to shake my head slowly. “I’ve never pined in my life,” I force the words past my lips, and they taste as deceitful as they are.
Ronan throws his head back and laughs before patting my shoulder. “You’re a shit liar, Saoirse, which is a refreshing as hell trait considering the business done around here.” He tilts his head to the side as he studies me. “Something happened though, didn’t it?”
I breathe out, “What?”
“Between you and Conor,” he states like it is common knowledge. It isn’t. “The man has been giving me death glares since the moment I started talking to you and every time he looks at you, you start blushing.”
