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“There is a lifetime of Christmases ahead of us,mo bhanphrionsa,” I whisper, my lips coming close to hers.
She’s the one to close the distance between us and I swear I can taste her contentment on my tongue. My hands slide over her body, memorizing her, taking it all in.
Everything has changed quickly, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I knew that her coming back for the holidays was going to change everything and I was right. I was such a blind asshole to let her slip between my fingers, but I wasn’t going to let it stand.
She’s everything to me and now, with her in my arms, there’s a certain rightness that settles in my chest.
I could have lost her for good. If someone had swooped in and taken her from me, I would have had to go through life as a shell of a man. It would have been torture watching her with someone else while knowing I was the one who allowed it to happen through my own actions.
I don’t know if I’ve really earned her forgiveness yet, but I will. I’ll always put her first, even before Declan and the business. She’s it for me and I’ll make sure she never questions it.
Everything in me screams to make this woman mine completely, but there are certain things I need to wait on.
Yesterday, while Saoirse was gathering some of her things from the house, I sat down with Declan. His face was an unreadable mask, and I was nervous around the man for the first time since I met him. I knew he wasn’t happy with me, but what could really be done about it?
Before he could say anything, I knew I needed to put myself out there a little bit, not only because of our friendship, but to make sure everything was clear to him.
“I’m not sorry I didn’t come to you first and tell you about my intentions with Saoirse,” I told him honestly. “I fucked up with her and I needed to make it right. She is my top priority. I will always have your back and I’m devoted to the business, but my loyalty will always be to her first. She deserves nothing less.”
He nodded slowly; a move I had seen him use on countless men. Lesser men. Men who would be intimidated by the show. I wasn’t and I had to bite my tongue not to call him out on his bullshit. Instead, I sat there, calm and steady, as I held his gaze, and he assessed me.
I wasn’t going to crack; the stakes were far too high for that.
When he let out a breath and his shoulders relaxed, it felt like a win, but I also knew it was too early to get cocky. “I can see she’s happy with you,” he offered a bit reluctantly. The chuckle he let out was self-deprecating. “I’m not going to lie to you, Conor,” he leaned forward in his chair slightly and pinned me in place with a look, “I knew something was going on with you the last few months. Hell, the last few years, really.” He shook his head and shot me a weighted look. “I’m not blind or stupid. I had my suspicions, and I could see the distance you were putting between you and Saoirse. It really wasn’t hard to figure out.”
“You never said anything,” there was a slight accusation in my voice.
He challenged me, “Why would I? You weren’t talking to me about it. I figured you needed to get your shit together and I certainly wasn’t going to push you closer to my sister. Not when I’ve had a hard enough time not looking at her and seeing the child I held in my arms while grieving the death of our parents.”
“I love her,” I assured him. “I can’t tell you I’ll always be the perfect man. I’ll fuck up and piss her off, I’m sure, but I’ll always love her. I’ll always choose her. I lived in a world without her for far too long. I don’t want to go back to that.”
“I hate to say it,” he gave me a disgusted look, “but I can’t think of a better man for her to be with.” I tried to hide my smile, but I must not have done a good job of it because he groaned, “Don’t make me regret saying that by looking all cocky right now.”
I ran a hand over my face, trying to get myself under control. “Of course not.”
“Now,” his face transformed back to deadly serious, “there is one thing I want to talk to you about and make very clear.” The only thing I could do was nod. “I know you’re going to want to get your ring on her finger, make her your wife, and start your life with her. I know exactly what your impulses are screaming at you to do.”
“She will be my wife,” my voice left no room for argument.
“I’m not saying she won’t be, but I am asking you to not marry her until after she’s done with school. I know what comes after the ring, or even before, and I’m not ready to be an uncle quite yet. She wanted to go to college. She’s moving back to Boston to do it and I don’t want anything to get in the way of it.” He chuckled under his breath, “Not like she would let it anyway.”
As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. “I won’t put an engagement ring on her finger until after she graduates, but then it’ll be full steam ahead. The only reason I’m agreeing to it now is because I know how important her education is to her and I will never be the reason she gives something up.”
“What if she hadn’t already made plans to transfer?” There was no judgement in his tone, only curiosity.
“We would have had to figure something out. I guess I’d be doing as much work as I could do for you remotely because there was no way I was going to let her go all the way across the country again without me,” I told him honestly, my face stoic because I knew I wouldn’t survive her being that far away from me again.
He nodded and then stood, and I followed his lead. He surprised the fuck out of me by giving me a quick hug. “I guess you’re officially family now.”
“I’ve always been your brother, Declan.”
He grinned at me as he stepped back and that was that. We had an understanding.
I told Declan I’m not going to put an engagement ring on my woman’s finger before she graduates, and I won’t, but I have a plan to make sure she knows exactly what my intentions are. I just need to wait for the right time.
Saoirse looks up at me, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling with so much love that it makes my chest feel tight. Her voice is a little unsure, which is so unlike her, “Will you come to Cali with me when I go to grab the rest of my stuff?”
I kiss her lips softly and maneuver us so she’s laying on the couch while I hover above her. When her legs wrap around my waist, she rotates her hips with her pussy pressed against my very eager cock.
