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Glancing around me dazedly, I watched other members of the family break down completely. Skylar fell to her knees and clutched her head. Mom clung to Dad’s hand from where she sat and wept bitterly against his arm, while Trick gripped his hair and turned away, hiding his emotions.
I just gaped at them, sure I wasn’t actually awake and this wasn’t actually happening.
But Luke wrapped his arms around me and held on tight, forcing a part of me to accept it was all real.
Still… For the longest second, I couldn’t react.
Everything was simply numb.
Then I heard Dr. Hamilton’s voice again. “Julian’s with her now. She’s awake and alert, even cracking a couple of jokes. We have enough painkillers in her that she’s not feeling anything, and we’re keeping her as comfortable as possible. But both of them have requested that anyone who wants to should be allowed to go back to say goodbye.”
Mom immediately surged to her feet and raced down the hall to be with Nia and Julian. It took the others a moment to collect themselves, but once they did, they seemed to file after her, hurrying to be with Nia as well.
Dad paused at the end of the line, making sure everyone else went ahead of him. When just he, Luke, and I remained, he met Luke’s gaze, and the two men nodded to each other. Then, Dad turned away and left as well.
Once everyone else was gone, I finally gathered the nerve to glance up at the man who’d stayed with me.
“I don’t know if I can see her,” I confessed, beginning to tremble uncontrollably.
Luke’s eyes filled with sympathy. “Chloe…” he whispered.
I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “Do you think she knows it’s my fault? Do you think she knows Dax is the one who—”
“Hey,” he whispered and tipped my chin up. “Look at me.”
I shuddered out a hoarse sob, then let my lashes flutter open.
Luke’s thumb swiped across my cheek. “I get it,” he assured me. “I feel like a guilty shit stain right now too. When I thought it was you in that accident, I wished so hard for itnotto be that I think I wished it right onto someone else. And yet still, now, knowing what’s going to happen to Nia, and Julian, and fuck…poor Drea…I’m still grateful it’s not you, even though I feel like I caused this to happen by wishing for your safety so much.”
“But you didn’t—”
“No, I didn’t,” he agreed and stroked my hair kindly. “Just like you didn’t. You didn’t cause this to happen, no matter how much I know it feels to you like you did.”
“But it was my—”
“I don’t care,” he cut in. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t press on the gas pedal in his car and steer the wheel to drive her off her road, and I promise no one else will think it’s your fault, either. But theywillnotice if you don’t go back there right now. Julian will notice, and he’ll never forget it if you don’t step up and say goodbye to his wife before it’s too late.”
I whimpered, and tears streamed down my cheeks.
“So you’re going to repress all this guilt,” Luke went on steadily. “Take my hand, and we’re going to go see Nia together. And then afterward, I’ll take you home, where you can fall apart on me for as long as you need to. Okay?”
I shuddered and nodded, the tears falling heavier. “Okay,” I said.
He held his hand out to me, and I took his fingers, not about to let go anytime soon.
When we reached the room, Mom was having the hardest time dealing.
“But I don’t understand,” she railed. “Look at her. She’s sitting upright and talking. She’s completelylucid. How can she be…?” She shook her head, and tears gushed down her cheeks. “She seemsfine.”
“I can tell something’s wrong,” Nia spoke from the bed. She had a blanket covering her chest to hide the gore, and there was a lump under the sheet, but other than that, she looked a little sleepy, and that was it. “I can breathe okay and nothing hurts, but…” She shook her head and swayed as her voice trembled. “I think my body knows. And I’m starting to get a little scared.”
“Oh, baby,” Mom assured, gripping Nia’s knee through the sheet. “It’s okay. We’re going to be here with you the entire time. You’re not going to do this alone.”
“Thank you.” Nia smiled up at her fondly. “You’re seriously the best mother-in-law ever.”
Which got my mom to start in with the tears again.
Hovering just inside the doorway with Luke, I watched Nia glance up at my brother. “Drea?” she asked. “Is someone getting Drea from daycare? I want to be able to see my baby one last time.”
