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But he shook his head as if there was nothing else hecouldsay. “I fell so fucking hard that I got scared,” he admitted. “I knew you were going to leave when you found out. I knew I was going to lose you. And I…” He shook his head jerkily. “I couldn’t lose you. So I…I…”
When his voice seemed to catch in his throat, I wiped a tear from my cheek and whispered, “Youwhat?”
His gaze slid back to me, and he looked to be in shock. A dazed, guilty shock. “So I tried to make you fall too,” he grated out, “in the hopes that maybe you’d forgive me when you learned the truth because your feelings for me would…would override my stupid silence. But…”
Shaking his head, he squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth before he cracked his lashes open so he could face me directly when he said, “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about you at all. It was always about me and getting whatIwanted. And I…”
Pressing a hand to his heart, he looked broken and sincere as he added, “I swear, it didn’t feel this awful and selfish as I was doing it. It felt as if that was what Ihadto do to keep from losing everything. But it was wrong, no matter what I thought, and I… I’m so sorry, Oaklynn. I’m so sorry for doing this to you. You don’t deserve it. Not at all.”
He sniffed and wiped a hand over his face as tears glazed his eyes. Then, he glanced away as he waited for my response.
But I didn’t give him one. I couldn’t. Everything inside me hurt too much.
So I hugged myself and started to cry.
“Oaklynn…” he rasped in sympathy and stepped toward me. But I blocked him again with the power of my palm.
“No,” I said simply. “I think you need to leave.”
“But...” He shook his head, even as he stopped in his tracks. “I… I can’t leave you here like this. Not now. Please. Ask me anything but that. You’re upset and shaking. Tonight’s been—”
“I said to get the fuck out!” I boomed.
Above us, the lights flickered ominously.
Protective big sister must not like me yelling at little brother.
At the moment, I was too pissed to care.
So I snarled, “Cut it out, Thalia. Don’t you start with me either.”
She was on my shit list too. She’d made me think we were friends. That she wasalive.
More tears gushed down my cheeks as I realized the friend I’d made was dead.
When the lights abruptly stopped flickering under my command, I arched an eyebrow at Damien.
“As you can see, I can handle your sister. I’ll be fine. Just as long asyou’regone.”
He wanted to say something. I could see it in his eyes; he didn’t want to leave. But he knew he didn’t have a winning argument against me. His eyes filled with tears, and his jaw shifted. “Are you sure? If you don’t want to be alone, I can—”
“I saidgo!”
“Okay,” he finally rasped in a hoarse voice and took a step back. “But call if you need…anything. And if you want to move out after this…”
I hissed, interrupting him by lifting a hand. “I just learned I can talk to ghosts. Can you just…let me digest that for a minute?”
“Of course,” he answered, quickly wiping at the wetness on his cheeks. “Sorry, I…” He dropped his hand and sent me an achingly pain-filled smile. “I’m just really sorry, Oaklynn. About everything. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
“Well, you failed at that, so…”
When my eyes started to well all over again, Damien’s features crumbled.
I covered my eyes with my hands and groaned, “God.Whyare you still here?”
When I dropped my fingers to glare, he winced at me with fear in his eyes. “Are we…?” he tried to ask. “Are you and I…?”
But he couldn’t get the whole question out, and that was a good thing. I probably would’ve thrown something at him if he dared to ask about our relationship status right now.
