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“It’s nice, huh?” my mother asked, meaning the new house.
“Yeah, very nice,” I responded, trying not to let my feelings seep through.
“It’s all because of you, you know,” my mother said.
“What is, Mom?” I asked.
“The house. Those equities you sent home shortly after you left for the High Court. They matured so nicely and so quickly, I found myself able to afford this house in months. And then it kind of gave me a new perspective in life. I started dating Jim…” she trailed off.
I stood stock-still, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I had never sent my mother any equities. But as soon as she had said it, I knew who had. I wondered if I would ever, in all my immortal years, outlive the generosity Jay had bestowed upon me, so much of it without my asking or even knowing.
“I’m sorry, Mandy,” my mother said, misunderstanding my reaction.
I turned to my mom. Ireallydid not want to havethisconversation. This was part of the reason I had been avoiding coming home for so long.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom,” I replied, making my way back toward the door into the house.
I meant it. I was happy that my mother was happy.
“And you’re happy too?” my mom questioned, hopefully.
I looked through the glass pane of the back door and saw Cass politely nodding his head like whatever Jim was telling him was the most interesting thing he had heard all day. I loved how kind Cass’s heart was.
“Yeah,” I replied simply. “I am.”
I reached for the door handle.
“I did what I thought was best for you, you know,” my mother blurted.
I rested my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and then sighed and turned back to my small, beautiful mother, her fiery red hair standing out in the dark of the night.
“I know you did, Mom,” I said.
“I’m so proud of you, Mandy. I just knew that you were made from a different mold and were destined for things bigger and better than anything Harborview could offer you,” my mother explained.
“Cass is from Harborview,” I retorted.
Maybe if I had liked home a little bit more, we both would have stayed in town, and we would have been together this entire time. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to be alone all those years. And Cass wouldn’t be leading a damn war.
“And I am so happy you two found your way back to each other. I always thought you two would be cute together,” my mother said.
And before I could think of something to say or go into the house, my mother added, “I just didn’t want you to get too comfortable here. And look at you now.” Like that justified everything I had gone through in my life.
I had never been comfortable in Harborview. There wasn’t much in my childhood that could be described in terms of comfort. I was raised to believe that comfort was a four-letter word associated with bad feelings of being trapped and settling for less. But my mother was right. Whatever she did, it drove me to leave Harborview, and I was doing pretty well for myself.
“So, Jim’s a funny guy,” I said, changing the subject.
I gave my mother a smile, letting her know that we were good. My mother had done the best she could raising me. I had to believe that.
19
Alarie
Cass and I walked toward his father’s house, our interlocked hands swinging in between us. We had enjoyed the silence of the night for the last five minutes or so. Harborview was so much quieter than Vlaise at night.
“Are you still mad at me for making you finally come home?” he asked.
I continued to stare at the road ahead of us but squeezed his hand.
