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“No. I’m not mad at you, Cass. You were right. It was good for me to come home for a bit. You know me. I just had it in my head that there was nothing for me here anymore,” I explained.
“I know, Mand. You’ve always done that,” he said.
“Done what?” I asked, somewhat defensively.
“Distanced yourself. Pushed others away. Denied yourself the things you want now for the promise of something better later,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
His tone was gentle, but his words were true and penetrating.
“But, Mandy,” he said, tugging on my hand so that we stopped walking. He moved my small hand over his heart, holding it there with his own hand on top of mine. I could feel the strong, steady beat of his heart.
“You feel that?” he asked. I felt his unyielding muscle and a slight jump in his heartbeat. “You can push all you want, but I’m not going anywhere this time. If you leave me again, I’ll just follow your ass,” he said.
My heart fluttered. I knew what he was working his way up to. I had seen it in his eyes all day. I had seen it in his eyes since the first night he kissed me at the High Court. But I wasn’t ready to say “I love you” yet.
“Now, who’s the one not living in the moment?” I teased. “I’m here with you right now, Cass.” I brought my other hand up to his face, tenderly caressing it.
He grabbed me and shot into the air.
“How’s this for living in the moment?” he asked.
I laughed off the startlement I had felt from being on the ground one minute and in the sky the next. I didn’t know if I would ever get used to Cass’s quick transitions to the sky. He flew us the rest of the way to his father’s house, landing on the roof.
He pulled me down so that we both sat on the flat rooftop. He spread his wings out, and we lay on top of them, like a pillow. His right wing curled around me slightly, tucking me in. We looked up at the stars that lined the midnight sky. When we were kids, we used to climb up on the roof at night and just talk or make up pretend constellations in the stars.
“That one kind of looks like a bird’s wings,” Cass said, pointing at a random configuration of stars.
“Look at that one. It looks like a heart!” I replied, embracing our old pastime.
He rolled his body on top of mine, using his wings to encircle us. That day had been the longest I had ever seen Cass without him retracting his wings. At the High Court, he normally flaunted his otherness in the face of everyone else. He put his scars and tattoos and his lesser fae strength on display for everyone to see. But he usually only kept his wings out if he was using them, or sometimes at night when we were sitting on his balcony.
Wrapped in his arms inside of his wings, I felt incredibly comfortable. It was like we were in our own personal safe, warm cocoon. My mom had hit the nail on the head earlier. My entire life, I had been afraid of being comfortable. I’d been scared that if I got comfortable, I would get stuck and never grow to fulfill my dreams. But in this moment, I realized that being comfortable could be amazing too.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Mand. Longer than you know.” He pressed his body into mine.
He was always saying stuff like that to me—hinting that he had been in love with me since we were kids, that I was his dream. It was intimidating trying to live up to the picture of me he had created in his head all these years.
“The wait’s over,” I said, grabbing his hand and gripping it around my breast and squeezing.
I felt him harden against my leg. Our sweet moment was replaced with an urgency for our bodies to become one. Cass and I hadn’t gone all the way yet. He was more conservative than I was when it came to those things.
We were still in our clothing from the beach that day. He kicked off his swim trunks as he untied the sides of my bathing suit bottoms. He slid two fingers up my middle and began pumping them in and out of me. I arched my back, and a moan escaped my mouth as he settled over the knot within me, stroking it over and over. One of his hands moved to cover my mouth.
“Shh, or the entire neighborhood will know what we are doing up here,” he teased.
I took his hand between my teeth and bit down to keep from making too much noise. He stroked inside of me, his hungry eyes fixed on me, driving me closer and closer to the blinding light of my pleasure. I squeezed my eyes closed, white little dots replacing my view of the stars as I was overtaken by the pleasure of my orgasm.
He rose onto his knees, removing the cover of his wings. I immediately missed their embrace. His wings splayed out behind him, the starry sky his background, then he used my wetness to stroke himself. He looked like a valiant warrior who had come home to claim his prize.
And I wanted to taste the power that was coming off him. I crawled to him on my knees until I was in front of his impossibly large body. He moved the hand he was stroking himself with to the back of my head and guided me to the tip of his cock. I stuck my tongue out of my mouth, laying it flat and opening my mouth wide so that he could plunge into me.
I looked up at the bright night sky, at his wings protruding from his back as his pace picked up. I tilted my gaze back down and wrapped my lips around him. His hand dug into my hair, slowing me, and then he pulled from my mouth, tilting my face up to his.
“Fuck it. No way you are staying quiet through this next part,” he said, low and gravelly. “People are just going to have to mind their own fucking business,” he said with a mischievous grin on his face.
He pulled me from my knees and wrapped his strong hands around the crevice between my thighs and my ass, wrapping my legs around him. He slid into me slowly pulling my body to his until I was impaled on his length.
“Ride me, Mand,” he demanded.
