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“Why now?” I asked. I’d wanted this for so long. It had taken him years to make meactinghigh lord. Now, within a year, he was ready to hand it all over to me?
“I’ve led this House for hundreds of years, son. I’ve led us through war. I don’t want to do it again. And I think you’ll do it better. There are going to be some tough decisions ahead of you as high lord. You are responsible for the future of this family, this Court, and, ultimately, the Kingdom now.”
I knew being high lord wasn’t all fun and fairytales. I had already experienced that as acting high lord.
“Just promise me one thing. Promise me for your mother.” And when he mentioned her, the strength in his voice faltered in pain. The meekness my father wore felt unnatural and made me feel the cracks in my own strength. I needed this conversation to be over.
“Anything,” I promised him.
40
Alarie
Afae funeral was a muted state of affairs. There was no flirting or laughter or jockeying for the King’s favor or even the wearing of House colors. For this one event, we were one, and we all donned our blackest attire, the single, somber hue a reflection of our collective mourning. The mourning family would continue to wear black for days, possibly weeks. There would be no service or a procession of people. We simply gathered to mourn not only the loss of Luke’s mother but the loss of our immortality.
It was my first funeral but likely not my last. Fadings were still rare occurrences, but they were still occurring. My dress was black, and its hem nearly swept the floor. It was modest by High Court standards, but even still, the skirt was made of a see-through black tulle, and its top was corseted. As usual, I wore tall heels, a strappy black pair of stilettos that wrapped halfway up my calves.
I walked into the main hall of House Heroux and was immediately greeted by a crowd of murmurings that sounded much happier than the occasion justified. I peeked through the crowd and found the cause of the oddity. Jay stood with Lady Vitruvian, and she held the first fae baby to bless our Kingdom in over two decades. Asher Vitruvian, with his grey eyes and golden spun hair, appeared to be a happy baby and, even at this sad occasion, the joy that came with his baby smiles and sounds could not be resisted by the mourning mass.
Luke had told me that Jay, Elizabeth, and baby Asher had permanently relocated to the High Court. I imagined that Jay and Elizabeth had amended their “arrangement” so that Asher could grow up at the High Court and, if I had to guess, likely summer at Jay’s manor in Breakpoint. A smile ghosted my lips at the thought of Jay’s de facto little brother, Oliver, getting to play the cool uncle for Asher.
I thought it would hurt more to see Jay with his family. But I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as I had thought it would. I felt a certain kind of sadness, the kind that came with unfulfilled dreams and what-ifs. But, to the extent that his stony exterior ever could express such an emotion, Jay looked happy, and I was at peace with that.
The King called for everyone to quiet. I scanned the room, anxious to find Luke’s impressive figure. My heart hurt for my friend. But it also harbored a kind of excitement at the thought of seeing him again after our last conversation. We would get through thistogether.
I began to walk toward him. But then he turned around to reveal Karina Dempsey standing directly behind him. Her blonde hair was done up in an elaborate bun, and she was smiling.
Luke found my eyes across the room. I looked back at him, hopeful. But he shook his head. I was confused. High Lord Bellamy raised his glass for a toast.
“On this somber evening, we would like to share news that would have brought Courtney great joy. Please raise your glass in Courtney’s memory but also to the newly betrothed,” he said. And then he turned toward Luke and Karina.
Karina took Luke’s hand. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Bile rose in my throat. I felt like I was going to be sick. I immediately turned and rushed out of the room.
“Al. AL! Stop.Please. Let me explain.”
Luke followed me out of the main hall. I was already making my way to the courtyard outside the front door. I wouldn’t be tearful. I wouldn’t cry. I had to be strong and keep it together for him. But I felt the pain, the embarrassment of thinking I was good enough for Luke, that he would have actually picked me, welling up inside of me. I stopped but didn’t turn around. Luke caught up with me.
“Al, it’s not what you think,” he pleaded, grabbing both of my shoulders in his large hands and turning me around to face him.
“My father came to me. He told me he was stepping down as high lord and was making me high lord. NotactingHigh Lord. Actual High Lord.”
I looked up into his sparkling blue eyes. Even when I felt like I did, I was happy for him. I knew that was what he had always wanted.
“Congrats,High LordBellamy,” I said. My tone was flat, but I meant it.
“Al, no. That’s not the point. My father explained to me that my mother, before she passed…” I almost felt him flinch as he said it “She put this in motion with Karina and her family. And, so, my spot as high lord came with a price tag—engagement to Karina.”
“I hear congratulations are in order for that as well.” I hated the bitterness I heard in my own voice.
“I told my father that I would accept the high lord position but…” He hesitated at this point. “I told him I would have to think about the second part. Al, I just need time to figure out a way around it. He cut my legs out from underneath me with that announcement. This is exactly why I need to be high lord and not my father. He just doesn’t get the political ramifications of what I am going to have to go through to undo this.”
My heart fluttered for a moment.
“Don’t,” I said, looking up at him again.
“What?” he asked.
“Don’t undo it, Luke.”
