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Tonight, I’m giving her a stuffy. It’s a panda with a heart on its stomach. I lie her down and pull the favorite blanket over her, laying the toy next to her. Locking the cage, I get in bed and think about what I’ve done. Regret laces itself around my heart, but I fall asleep so I don’t have to focus on it.
As the sun peeks through the window blinds, I hear a squeal and I know Jasmine found her toy.
“Thank you, Daddy! I love it. I’m going to call it Handa. Because it’s a panda with a heart.”
Her glee is contagious, and I get out of bed. My girl has earned a treat. Hell, she’s repaid her debt many times over, but I don’t want her to get too goddamn attached because I’m likely going to be the devil in her eyes soon enough.
“Hi, little one.” I look down at her through the cage and she is practically glowing.
“I want a hug, Daddy. Please.”
“Well, I can’t deny you when you ask so sweetly. Such a good girl.” She loves her praises, and I’ll make sure she keeps enjoying it. For now.
Letting her out, she jumps on me, and I laugh. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She presses kisses all over my face, and I stroke her back.
“You’re welcome, sweet buttercup.”
“Daddy, can we visit Tia today?”
She’s looking at me so sweetly. How do I tell her no? “Yes, buttercup. We sure can. Laura said we can come to her house any time and you are welcome to spend the week with her.”
“Really?” Jasmine bounces up and down, dancing with her panda.
“Yeah, really.”
“Daddy, are you staying with me or just me?” She stops dancing for a moment, and her head tilts to the right, like she’s pondering something.
“Just you.”
Her smile falls. “No. I would rather stay with you, Daddy. I want to visit and have Thanksgiving with them with you.”
“Well, then I will take you over there to spend the day, and y’all can decide what to eat. I still have some work I have to finish. Remember, my job doesn’t stop during the break.”
“Oh. Well, do you want me to go with you, so I can help you get it done faster?”
She knows full well she is a damn distraction. Shaking my head, I pull her to me. “No little one. You know that you and I would be at each other all day if you were in the same room as me.”
“Alright, that’s true, Daddy. Fine. I’ll go be with Tia, but I’ll miss you.”
The week has been amazing, but I’m dreading today. Everything is about to change, and this week has been amazing with Jasmine. Hell, she’s shown me her little self more each hour of the day. And her having time with Tia has been good for her. Then again, Laura has told me it’s been good for both of them.
We are sitting at the dinner table, eating lunch as Laura feeds Tia, and I feed Jasmine. Both Laura and I agreed we would show them it’s alright if they are in little space with both of us around. Laura would kill for both girls and I’m pissed at myself, but so would I.
“The girls have agreed that they would both go home to Jazz’s parents’ house for Christmas,” Laura says, and I look at Jasmine.
“Is that so?”
She nods her head enthusiastically. “Yes. If we don’t, Mom will be down here helicopter parenting, and no one wants that.”
Tia laughs and rolls her eyes. “Um, we have helicopterpartners, Jazz.”
“Tee Tee, I’m aware; we don’t need a third person doing it.”
“Alright, that’s fine. But, you know the rules, buttercup.” I stroke her hair as she finishes the last piece of pumpkin pie.
My phone rings, and Jasmine picks it up from the table. She knows that I don’t answer when she’s in my lap. I should have known better.
Lillian’s name is on it and I feel my whole body heat. “Little one, get up, please.”
