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On the first evening he dropped me home, he simply smiled and told me to say hi to Luke for him. The next morning, he asked if I did, and I told the truth.
I didn’t.
His knowing smile should have told me that it was a test. That he wanted to see if I was telling my older brother, his best friend, that we were spending time together.
The second evening, he got out of the car with me, using his jacket to shield me from the rain as I walked up my driveway.
On the third night, he squeezed my thigh with his big hand when he said bye, and when I turned to look at him, he put a hand on the side of my face.
Your eyes are truly mesmerizing, Ella.
His thumb caressed my cheek softly, and I remember parting my lips, hoping for something else. I didn’t know what, just something…more.
He nodded at me, approval bright in his honey eyes, the dimple on his left cheek showing when he smiled.
He’s always had that boy next door look. Too cute for the darkness he hides so well. Too handsome for the things he truly likes to do. The only element of his physique that reflects his soul is how tall and imposing he is. Larger than life, capable of protecting me from anything.
Except himself.
Every single evening that week he dropped me home except for Friday night. Because he knew his friends would be waiting for him at his house. The four of them always partied on the weekend. But that one was different. It was his eighteenth birthday.
And it turned out that I had been invited.
I didn’t see him the whole night. Everyone wanted a piece of Chris. Birthday parties that included one of the kings of our school were a big deal. By the end of the evening, I’d lost all hope to even get a minute of his attention. And I hated it. I didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, he’d gotten me hooked up on his brand of caring. On his firm gentleness. On his low, soft voice. I was suddenly aware that I was part of all the other girls that night who were craving Chris Murray, thegood guyof their group.
And it was embarrassing.
Even more so that I stayed until the very end in the hope to see him, but he had gone to the basement with his closest friends. With my brother.
My friends were already waiting for me to leave, feeling sorry for me while reminding me they’d warned me not to get involved with anyone from that group. I’d had enough drinks that I needed the bathroom before leaving.
That’s when he found me.
He followed me when I went all the way to an upstairs bathroom. I was a little too drunk to notice him, and it startled me when he slipped in with me, closing the door and blocking the way out with his gigantic body.
I was at loss for words, like most of the time around him. I tended to lose myself around Chris. He would lead the conversation, so eager to know who I really was, and I answered anything he asked. Every single morning at the gym, he would get to know me better. Nothing superficial. No, he wanted to know who I was inside.
How do you feel about Luke leaving next year?
How has it been starting high school a year late?
Why were you so eager to get on the cheer team?
What do you want to do with your future?
But at that party, the questions to know who the girl Ella Baker was disappeared. He wanted to discover the woman.
I am not a quiet girl. I wasn’t back then either. Like my father always likes to say, I’m opinionated. I defend the people I love and the people who can’t defend themselves fiercely. I don’t keep my mouth shut. I’m not rude, but I’m not shy, not problematic but not compliant.
It was different with Chris.
His energy takes your breath away. Forget about putting defenses up, he’ll tear them down. Carefully, with a beautiful smile on his face.
I struggled to take a breath when he slipped his hand behind him and locked the door, keeping his eyes on me.
You weren’t going to leave without wishing me a happy birthday, were you?
The beat of my heart was uncontrollable. Everythumpreverberated through my body, ringing in my ears, warming my blood.
