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“I knew there was a reason I liked it here,” Kallie exclaims, throwing her hands up.
He smiles and takes our menus. “More drinks?”
“Yes, keep them coming,” I assure him.
“You don’t have to go back to work?” I whisper.
She giggles and shakes her head and shoulders. “No way. We had to cry off early anyway cos the light was appalling. Apparently we’ll be back early doors tomorrow. Not looking forward to that. So I’m kinda glad we’re getting our dinner in now so I can get an early night. These winter days knacker me out when I have to work outdoors.”
“Yeah, I can imagine.”
The starters are here before we know it and I get a look off her for going for something so measly, while she gets a look off me for having those slimy little river slugs lathered in chilli oil.
“We’ve talked so much about my crap lately, don’t think I haven’t noticed you’re bummed out these days. What’s going on?” I tilt my head and watch as she shrinks into the chair, since she knew it was coming and hasn’t been looking forward to my grilling.
“I had two long-term relationships back-to-back and I’ve had to realise, both relationships were really toxic for me. It’s been a lot to process.” She dislodges the oyster, then throws that lump of jelly down her throat. I can’t even…
“I didn’t want to say anything at the time.”
She looks up at me, shocked. “I felt the same about you working for Sharon and Albie, but…”
“That was different,” I chuckle. “That was a job. When it’s a real relationship… I didn’t think it was my place to say. I think you needed to figure things out.”
She downs her last oyster while I’m still on my salad, biting slowly so that she has to speak while she’s not got food in front of her and I’m otherwise occupied.
“I could deal with it when Marie first cheated on me. It was just the once and she said it meant nothing. But when she did it again, with the same woman?” She’s shaking her head, annoyed by the memory, even four years later.
Marie was her first serious girlfriend who I never, ever liked. She even made the psycho one Dawn look good, that’s how bad she was! Marie was always borrowing money off Kallie, sleeping over just so she could use our utilities, and never paid for one meal out they shared. When Marie finally moved in, that’s when Kallie could no longer ignore Marie’s debts and such, though to be fair to her, she put up with it for as long as she could, before she had to put her foot down and demand Marie pay her way. That’s when the infidelities started, surprise, surprise.
“Because it was so bad with Marie, then I felt like with Toni, it felt so right. She was so together and because of what I’d had with that waster, I was like… totally engrossed and thought wow, someone who shares the load, you know?”
Toni, on the other hand, I really did like—up to a point. The only thing that ever grossed me out about her was that she was always slobbering all over Kallie and it got to be too much. Even Kallie told me sometimes, “I just can’t. I mean, I know she hasn’t got a cock, but if she had, I’d be red raw by now.”
And it was a bit like she was obsessed with Kallie. My best friend couldn’t go anywhere without having to tell Toni about it. Even if it was a work thing. Plainly, Kallie had gone from someone keen to take whatever they could from her money-wise, to someone keen to take whatever they could emotionally, physically and mentally.
The truth is, Kallie just doesn’t know her own worth and it seems like she wouldn’t know what to do if someone came along who was actually willing to look after her for a change.
“You’re wearing that look,” she says, annoyed. “You’re not saying what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t want to ruin our lunch.”
“I always say what I’m thinking,” she snaps.
Pursing my lips, I give her a moment to chill out. She drinks some cider and mumbles, “Sorry.”
“The reason you tell me what you think is because you know I want to hear what you think, and because, you know I can take it when I hear what you think. When I come even close to the truth, you don’t like it.”
Her face twitches with that reluctance for me to come out with it, but we both know that perhaps, it’s time.
“I really never thought I’d get cheated on again,” she sighs, despondent. “It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Marie, I kinda got. But Toni? The woman gave and gave in that department… until she didn’t.” She throws her hands up. “What did I do?”
Taking a deep breath, I put down my knife and fork. No sooner have I done it, the waiter is there taking away our starter plates.
Before we have our mains, which might be sooner than usual, I realise I have to tell her what I think or it’s going to drive a wedge between us.
“I think they both knew that being with a woman isn’t what you really want.”
Her cheeks flush and she looks really upset, turning her face away from me, her mouth set firmly to stop herself from crying.
