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“I’m not saying what both of them did was right, or your fault, because it wasn’t. Marie did it because she got told off for being a lazy cunt, which let’s be honest, she was.”
Kallie can’t help but snort a little over that.
“Yeah, Toni seemed amazing, but she was an emotional vampire. I don’t know much about female-to-female relationships, obviously… not of the sexual variety anyway… but I do know that I’ve seen other same-sex pairings that are much healthier.”
She rubs her forehead and nods her head, inhaling sharply through her nose. “True.”
“And what I think it is, is that you really want to be with someone, but you just end up with people who treat you like shit because that’s what you think you deserve. And also—”
Her head whips up and she glares because she knows what I’m going to say.
“You like men more, Kallie. We both know it. You can be bi but like one sex more than the other.” She gives me that reluctant nod again. “I even wonder if there’s like this thing where people are pansexual when it comes to the deed, but in relationships, they just need something… specific. And you’ve yet to find someone who’ll take care of you in the way you need to be cared for.”
Plus, I’ve seen her around men and women, and when she’s around a man she finds really attractive, she goes all loopy. With a woman, she just gets a bit standoffish and plays hard to get—hence attracting the crazies.
“I will admit, it’s what I’ve been thinking about, and I’ve tried… you know… talking to men again.”
I nod my head encouragingly. “That’s good to hear. Taking it slow?”
“I want to try to get there, to be comfortable with a man again.”
Relieved isn’t the word. Damn proud, but, I don’t want to scare her with my over-enthusiasm. She needs gentle guidance and not for me to be all like, “Aww yeah, mate… go and get pounded.”
“It’ll take time but time’s all we seem to have these days.”
She laughs gutturally and it relieves me to see that she’s not too mad with me. Not loving what I’ve said, obviously. However, it needed to be said.
“Damn right, neither one of us has anything remotely resembling a love life right now.”
There’s no disagreeing with her. “And you know what? Maybe that’s okay.”
“Yeah?” she sighs.
“Yeah.”
Our mains arrive—humongous game pies with potatoes and green vegetables and gravy boats off the chain. We both sigh with happiness at the smells, the sights, the anticipation. It’s going to be a nice, leisurely lunch, for sure.
The waiter brings new drinks without our asking and we nod gratefully as we begin to attack our plates. Between the pleasure of focusing solely on food, I can’t help but think about Miles.
I miss him, it’s not good, but I do. We text a bit and it’s nice, but I miss… certain things.
“You’ve gone moony-eyed,” she says.
“I was thinking how I miss Miles. Apparently, the CEO I interviewed with today had called him beforehand to check he would give me a reference.”
Kallie looks sadly at me across the table. “He’s a serial cheat, girlfriend.”
“Yep, I know, babe. But apparently, he told this guy that I was a talented person he’d be a fool not to employ. He’s just… it feels like he’s letting go.”
If there was an award for the most dramatic eyeroll, Kallie would win, every time. But the one she’s giving me right now is pretty epic. I can’t help but titter into my hand, trying not to spit out food. Yes, it’s ironic I’ve been trying to give her relationship advice, especially when I’m so hopeless at the whole thing.
“What about Mr CEO?” she asks. “What is he like?”
“Pretty hot,” I have to admit. “Yep. Looks as if he like played rugby once upon a time, or he… I don’t know. He was hot. Kind of understated.”
“So… would you call him?”
Anything to get me not to call Miles, I expect.
