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He was positive the conversation would be the one he had hoped to avoid because honestly, he wasn’t sure what to say. This was about the kiss. “Sure thing. Star can wait a few minutes.”
“It’s just that we didn’t talk about it last night, but…” she hesitated, clearly at a loss for the right words.
The least he could do was meet her halfway. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you. I was overjoyed at our problem-solving skills, and I got carried away. I hope it doesn’t make things awkward between us.”
Madison looked away, but not before he saw her jaw tighten. Since when was an apology the wrong thing to say or do?
“No, you don’t understand,” she said, twisting her hands together. “It’s just that we didn’t talk about what happens now.”
An almost kiss certainly didn’t qualify for a serious discussion about the future. “I mean, we’re friends…right? Nothing has to happen. I mean, you know my past and I know you’re leaving town. It wouldn’t make sense to go down this road, would it?” Deep down, he almost wished she would disagree with him…or at least he was confused enough to hope she might.
Madison cocked her head to one side. “What road? Are you talking about almost kissing me? Because that would have been nothing more than a celebration kiss. No big deal. Right?”
Caleb was more confused than ever. “Then what’s this conversation about? What do you want to happen now?”
She shrugged; her brow drawn tight in her careful regard of him. “It’s up to you. Do I stay…or do I go? You don’t need me anymore as far as I can tell,” Madison said.
The light finally clicked. They weren’t talking about the same thing…at all. Caleb nodded. “You mean regarding your job here?” He felt like a fool. A bumbling idiot, as though talking to the first girl he ever liked. “Nothing changes. Not yet anyway. Unless you want it to, of course. But Joelle loves having you around and I still need to work at the store. Figuring out what was wrong doesn’t mean we can pull the bandage off yet.”
Madison’s expression changed to one of relief, her smile firmly back in place. “Works for me. I haven’t earned enough to pay off the mechanics bill and I want to pick up the car next week. Just in case I get an interview somewhere within driving distance.”
He’d foolishly hoped she wanted to keep working for him because she enjoyed it, not because she needed the money. “Well then, consider the nanny job still open and yours. Now I’ve got to get down to the barn to feed Star if you’re sure everything is good between us.” A hasty retreat was the best way not to say something he would regret. It’s not as though he was looking for a relationship.
Madison nodded. “We’re good.”
With that settled, Caleb headed to the barn, eager to be alone with his thoughts. Madison had tripped him up on several levels, and he wasn’t sure what to do about any of it. The barn door creaked open, reminding him he still needed to fix it.
“Good morning, Star,” he said, reaching out to stroke the mare’s neck. “Ready for breakfast and to mosey around the pasture a bit while I clean your stall?” he asked, pouring feed into her bucket.
Star nudged him in the arm. Caleb produced an apple and cut it into pieces, offering the treat to the horse. The mare pawed at the ground to show her appreciation. He led her outside, but instead of turning her out, Caleb walked with her, leaving the lead line loose. Not that she needed a lead line. Star had shown him over and over that she would follow Caleb wherever he went. Her trust was all-inclusive.
“So why do you follow me, girl? They say you’re one of Sundancer’s Legacy horses, but what makes you think I need help?” Star swished her tail at the flies and stomped her hoof.
“My wife died riding a horse, you know. It’s why I don’t ride anymore. It’s nothing personal.” Caleb couldn’t believe he was talking to a horse, perhaps a reflection of his state of mind and a direct indicator he needed help.
The mare stopped, forcing Caleb to stop and return to her side. “What do you want from me?” he asked.
Star nudged him. “I don’t have another apple. Sorry, girl. Life is full of disappointments, you know.”
They continued to walk and talk. The horse, of course, never answering. Star went ahead of Caleb, becoming a little friskier. Caleb secured the lead line to keep them at an even pace.
It wasn’t long before Caleb spotted Madison and Joelle waving from the backyard. He turned to the horse. “What do you think of Madison?”
Star stopped and nodded her head up and down. “You like her? Well, that makes two of us. I just don’t know what to do about it. You know, I never planned on getting involved with anyone again. I planned to focus on Joelle and keep her safe, something I couldn’t do for Lauren.” The mare whinnied.
“I know, life doesn’t come with guarantees. And as much as I like Madison, there’s no guarantee with her either. I’m not sure I can handle that gut-wrenching devastation that comes from losing the one you love ever again.” Love? It was possible. He certainly never thought it would happen, didn’t want it to. But now it seemed entirely possible. The question was, what did he do about it?
Caleb watched as Joelle and Madison played, laughing, and chasing after a ball. His daughter’s joy had grown over the past week, and she was a happier child. The question remained, was Caleb happier? And did he deserve to be?
Star stayed close but kept leading him toward Madison and Joelle. Was the horse trying to tell him something? And did he want to listen? Madison’s laughter reached his ears about the same time as Joelle’s squeals of delight. It was a peaceful sound. The sound of home. And family.
And as to keeping Madison around, it had been an excellent decision. A win/win one that allowed him to work at the store, all while he had a design expert in the mix. Why would he let her go when it would seem he needed her in his home and at work? Madison was good for them both, and it would seem even Star agreed.
Not that the horse ever answered him directly.
Chapter Eleven
“I’mhome,”Calebsaid,dropping a couple of bags on the kitchen counter before he went in search of the others. “Anyone here?” he called out.
