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Istumbled into the kitchen, scratching my stomach beneath my tee-shirt and only half-awake, still. The quiet of the dorm and the early hour told me Galen and Baron had recently left for conditioning. Jude’s door was still closed, so she was likely still asleep.
The scent of coffee filled the air. Since Jude had arrived, she’d made a point to prep the coffee maker the night before for a full pot, setting the timer for it to begin brewing just before any of us awoke. We’d all been too lazy to bother with it before, but I couldn’t deny the pleasure having a ready cup. I pulled my favorite mug down from the cabinet, the one that said ‘Correlation does not imply causation,’ and filled it to the brim, sipping as I started scrounging for food. I always woke up starving.
Opening the refrigerator, I leaned down and peered into its interior. A bowl labeled ‘waffle batter’ stared back at me.Did we even have a waffle iron? How had I missed this?
Straightening, I looked around and right beside the toaster on the counter was an obviously new waffle iron. I pulled the bowl of batter from the fridge and shook my head.Jude, again.
She was forever doing little things like that. After the first time we drank all of her juice, she started buying two cartons. She apparently enjoyed cooking and baking, and made a habit now of making extras and leaving them in obvious locations. She’d even plugged in some kind of air freshener thing in the bathroom, so it didn’t smell like gym socks.
I would sooner hit my own thumb with a hammer than tell Gale, but I liked it.
I made myself a waffle, wiped the iron, and replaced the batter before settling myself on the couch with my phone and plate. As I ate I scrolled my usual morning hit list of social media sites, news, texts, and emails, trying to address everything vital before turning it completely off for the better part of the day. It was too distracting.
A notification from a campus app I’d been plugged into for a while caught my attention. It was a relationship advice column in app format, and since most of the other ones I’d ever seen had been in women’s magazines, it was an entertaining change of pace. People messaged into Casanova, requesting advice on anything from unrequited love to a herpes breakout. He responded to all messages, choosing one or two each day to feature. One that had been featured the other day caught my attention.
What do you do when you can’t decide whether you really like someone, or really despise them?What if you suspect you might like them, but your friend likes them, too?
Damned if that didn’t sound like someone I knew. And he had even signed it ‘Asshole.’ I grinned, scrolling for Casanova’s response.Communication. Talking.I snorted to myself. As if Gale was in touch enough with his feelings to talk about them. I remembered his reaction when he and Baron had walked in on Jude and me the other night. Angry, but aware he had no right to be.
Standing, I started swinging arms in leisurely circles to loosen and warm them up. Maybe I should write my own letter to Casanova. Jude had me twisted up enough to do so. I grabbed my yoga mat as I thought about it, rising into mountain pose to begin my morning yoga sequence. I’d been practicing yoga for several years now, discovering it to be the perfect blend of mind and body exercise that I needed. I usually practiced at home, because I’d also found there were hardly any studios exclusively for men, and I felt like a slab of meat when I was in a woman-heavy class. Beginning in that kind of environment had deterred me, though. Yoga and meditation sharpened my ability to focus, cleared my mind when I was scattered, and strengthened the body in unbelievable ways.
I was thoroughly hooked.
Dear Casanova,I mentally composed.I kissed a girl and I liked it.Breathing slowly and regularly, I flowed through each movement in sequence, going back to the beginning and repeating once I reached the end. Downward dog to plank into lunge...warrior one to chair.
The sequence, an easy vinyasa, had become so familiar I could almost do it on autopilot.
My mind went back to Jude and her kiss. Incredible didn’t begin to describe it. Addictive, maybe, because I wanted… needed… more.
It was a kiss that shook me. A kiss that claimed me. A kiss I knew wasn’t going to let me go any time soon.
With painstaking slowness, I rose from downward dog into an inverted handstand, holding my core tight to maintain control.I kissed this girl with full awareness that I wasn’t the only one in like with her. Not one, but two of my roommates are exhibiting symptoms of attraction, as well.Slowly down into crane, resting my knees on the outsides of each elbow. I breathed out, then inhaled and held, gaze focused on the floor beneath me.
That’s not the problem, though. I continued my letter to Casanova in my head.We can handle a little good-natured competition over a female. The problem is in convincing them to look at the situation a bit differently. More permanently. You see, Casanova...she’s kind of perfect for each one of us.
We all see it. We all know it.
From crane, I cycled into baddha konasana, the bound ankle pose. I held the pose, even as Jude’s bedroom door opened and my eyes wandered to her. It was a meditative posture, one I liked to finish with, so I stayed quiet and focused inward.
“Morning,” she mumbled, going straight for the coffee pot. I couldn’t remain but so zen as she walked past in her sleepwear. She wore a loose sweater top over her sleep tee, and her bare legs beneath her shorts ended in a pair of hideous green fuzzy things. Were they… Grinch… slippers?
“Mm,” I murmured in response, choosing to look at her legs rather than the ugly slippers.
She drank her coffee standing up, eyes closed and hands wrapped around the mug. Finished with one cup, she immediately poured another, and only then did she focus on me and register what I was doing. “Yoga? I didn’t know you did yoga.”
I nodded serenely and closed my eyes. If we were going to be involved, she would need to learn not to speak to me while I was doing certain things. Conversation was a distraction. With another deep breath in and out, I sought within for my meditative space.
She’s already carving out a space with all—
The television cut on and I startled, losing the bound ankle for a moment. Gritting my teeth, I opened one eye to see Jude watching me. “Do you mind turning that off?”
“Sorry,” she said, switching it off. “Did you need me to be quiet?”
“If you don’t mind.” I closed my eyes.
“Sure. Are you meditating or something?”
“I’m certainly trying.”
