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“Forever?”
“Forever.”
* * *
I peer at my palm. At the spot where, years ago, a piercing kiss was placed. It’s strange that I can still feel it now—the tickle of his scruff, the warmth of his breath and softness of his lips.
As if the mere memory of it burns me, I flip my hand over and nervously dig my fingers into the fluffy ruffles of my bridal gown. The action gets my mother’s attention. She turns to me from where she’s sitting beside me in the back of the Rolls-Royce that’s taking us to Saint Mary’s Catholic Church. To the start of a new life.
But if it’s a new life, why am I thinking of death? Why are those words said to a man five years ago playing over and over in my mind?
“Are you nervous?” Mom asks.
I gnaw on my lower lip, wanting to tell her about the dread in my gut that began the day I accepted Peter’s proposal. How the face I wish to forget appears in my dreams every night, tormenting me, reminding me that even though my vow wasn’t made in a church before God, itwasmade nonetheless, and not even God can refute it.
I want to tell my mother that that vow has been drumming through my mind, louder with each passing minute.I’ll always be yours. I swear it.
A stupid, foolish girl. That’s what I was to make such a promise to a monster. I would have kept it too. Would have followed him into the fiery pits of Hell if it meant being with him.
But I meant nothing to him, and neither did my vow. While I was willing to burn for him, he could barely stand to touch me, much less love me.
I fist my hands and dig my nails into my flesh until it hurts so much that it numbs some of the pain I can’t fully divest myself of. It’s been five years since Rowan left me waiting for him. Five years since he destroyed me. But like a limb that’s been amputated and is long gone, I still have the memory of the way it felt.
I don’t tell Mom, because I don’t want her to believe I’m having second thoughts about Peter. I want this marriage. I’ve worked hard to make this happen and I don’t second-guess myself. Not anymore.
So instead, I say, “I’m afraid I’ll trip going down the aisle.”
It’s never mattered what I’m doing or if she truly thinks I can do it. That smile has always made me believe I can.
Reaching over, she adjusts the Swarovski crystal-encrusted hair pin I’ve placed on the side of my low bun. “You look beautiful, Lulu. Everything will be perfect.”
Her phone buzzes and she sighs when she glances at the screen. “It’s your father again. I swear he’s like a child. Hello?” she answers. I can vaguely make out the sound of his voice asking a question. She sighs again. “They’re where I always put them. Did you check the box? Look again.”
While she talks to him, I peek down at my hand and fight the urge to flip it over to see if it’s possible that it’s really burning, afraid that I’ll find a scorch mark where that kiss was placed. Or maybe a scar.
“Yes, honey,” Mom says. “We should be there in about ten…” She trails off and remains silent for a moment. “David, did we take a wrong turn?”
At her words, my head snaps up and I look out the window. “This isn’t the way to Saint Mary’s.”
“No, Mrs. Duran. Just a shortcut,” our driver says.
I frown as a sinking feeling settles in my belly. “Shortcut? There’s no shortcut.”
David glances at me through the rearview mirror, then farther back to the security detail following us. “Are your seatbelts buckled?”
“Yes, why?” Mom replies.
“It’s about to get bumpy.” Before he’s even finished his sentence, he accelerates.
“Oh my God!” I’m pinned to the seat by the sudden velocity.
Mom reaches for me, gripping my wrist tightly as she yells, “David, stop this car right now!”
But he ignores her, instead, swerving down a narrow road, barely missing a light pole.
I turn toward my mother at the same time as she glances at me. Worry and annoyance fill her expression. Then I turn farther, struggling to peer over the headrest, searching for the two black SUVs transporting our security, wondering why the hell David was able to pull this little stunt so easily. I quickly see why.
They’re flanked by three motorcycles and caught in some sort of shootout a few blocks behind.
