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I watched her cry, and I wanted to feel pity, I wanted to try and understand. I should have lifted a hand to her shoulder to comfort her. I should have seen that she was nothing more than a servant who had no more power in this cursed palace than I did. I should have tried to alleviate her guilt, somehow.
But I was too numb for that. Instead I turned away from her and walked into the bathroom, pushing the door closed behind me.
I gingerly lifted my nightgown off over my head, and whimpered when I looked down at myself. My breasts were covered in grazes, my hips and thighs bruised. I looked in the mirror and saw the purple handprint around my throat. The left side of my face was covered in scratches, from where the craggy cave wall had caught my skin. I wasn’t healing, my body and my very being seized in an awful kind of stasis, trapped in that cave. Imprisoned. Drowning.
I lowered myself into the bathtub, whimpering as the water touched my groin. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I was shaking violently as the feeling of the warm water on my limbs brought everything crashing back down on me. Everything hurt. I felt like he’d torn me open. Even through the haze of disbelief, my body confirmed that it had really happened. It hadn’t been a nightmare, and I wasn’t about to wake up. The nightmare was very, very real.
There was a sudden commotion outside, yelling, the voices of guards, doors being slammed. There was a loud thud on the other side of the bathroom door and Drusilla cried out, asking “What are you doing here?”
More shouts from the guards, and then I felt it, smashing through the numbness that had me in its clutches.
It was Rook, descending over me like a storm cloud. His bewilderment, his fear and anger - they made me feel ill.
The door flew open and then he was there, staring at me, shaking his head.
“My love?” His eyes took me in, widening with every passing second. His jaw clenched, and as more cries came from the guards, he bolted the door behind him and rushed to the side of the tub. “Elara, what happened? Oh fuckinggods, who did this to you?”
I tried to move away from him. “Rook, you need to go.”
The confusion that crossed his face crushed me. “Elara, please, what happened? I nearly went mad last night.” He put his hand behind my head, trying to draw me close. I refused to look at him, my lip trembling. “My love, please, I couldn’t find you, and then I felt - my love, look at me.LOOK AT ME.”
I turned to him slowly, the tears still not stopping. My eyes met his. “You need to go.”
“I don’t understand.” He brought his other hand to my face. “What was that? What happened to you?”
“Theron knows.” I winced as I shifted in the warm water, and Rook’s eyes flashed down to my throat, across my chest, then back up to mine.
“What do you mean?” His voice dropped, low and lethal. “Elara, what did he do?”
I shook my head. “Please don’t make me say it.”
Rook’s eyes darkened. “Did he…” He trailed off, and I felt the bubbling rage well up inside myself, burning under my rib cage painfully. “He did this to you?”
“I have to marry him,” I said, pushing Rook’s hands away and slumping over the side of the bathtub. “I have no choice. He’ll hurt you if I don’t. And I can’t -”
Rook was in front of me, his face desperate. “Elara, what are you talking about?Marryhim? You’re mine, you’remine, and he said we’d be free. Wh-what did he do to you?”
“Once I give him an heir, perhaps then, I can negotiate your release.”
Rook coughed in disbelief. “Anheir?” He held my shoulders gently. “My love, tell me what he did.”
I put my arms around his neck and began to sob. “You need to go. Please, I don’t want him to hurt you.”
Rook drew back a little and looked down into my face. “What did he do?”
“I cannot live in a world where you are not,” I said.
He cradled my face in his enormous hands. “I need you to tell me what he did.”
“He knew.” I shook my head. “He knew the whole time.”
“What did he know?”
“What you are to me.” I heaved in a breath, panic threatening to crush the air from my lungs. “He knows, he’s always known. He let us be close, he let us fall in love. He wanted us close so it would hurt so much more.” A gasping sob escaped me.”He just gave us hope. We were fools, Rook. He was never going to let us go. It was all a game to him.” I pressed my eyes shut, trying to erase the look of anguish and bewilderment in Rook’s face. “You need to leave me. This is the only thing I can do to keep you safe.”
Rook pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
My eyes flew open. “No! You have to promise me, swear to me, you won’t do anything.” I clutched on to him. “You promised me you would live for both of us, swear to me, swear to me that you will keep that promise.”
