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Elara sat in the tub, staring at the water’s surface. Her skin was red, her eyes blank. She didn’t move at all as we entered the room. My heart ached as I looked at her, feeling the icy depths of her own despair.
“Now then, love,” I said quietly as I kneeled beside her. “You’re going to get cold if you stay in there much longer.” I reached out and gently caressed her bare shoulder.
“I can’t get the blood off.” Her voice was hollow and distant, her lips barely moving as she spoke. “I can’t… I can’t get it off.”
Drusilla leaned on the edge of the tub. “My lamb, you’ve scrubbed yourself raw. I promise you, it’s all gone.”
Elara’s head shivered a little, the weakest sign of disagreement. “No. It’s there. I can feel it.”
“Elara -“ Drusilla broke off helplessly.
I raised my hand . “Now, it’s alright. I’ll have another look.” I lowered my head to try and meet Elara’s gaze. “Come on, love, let me look you over.” She let me lean her forward, and I ran my fingertips over her shoulders. “Nothing here.” I pulled her towards me, tilting her head slightly. “Ah, here’s some in your hair and on your face.” I gestured to her clean skin, and smiled. “Shall I wash it off? Then you’ll be all clean.”
“You swear it?” Her lip trembled as her head fell back against my shoulder.
“I promise you, it will all be gone.” I lifted a pitcher from beside the bath, turning her head gently. “Now close your eyes, I don’t want any of this blood getting in them.”
As soon as her eyes closed, her breathing became rapid, and suddenly she was retching, flailing in the water. I quickly took her in my arms, and she collapsed against me, heaving, breathless sobs breaking from her.
“I couldn’t save him.” Her fingers tore into my shirt. “I couldn’t save him. He was so small, I was so close, Rook. Why couldn’t I save him?”
“I’ve got you, my love.” I smoothed my hand over her hair. “I’ve got you. It’s over, it's all over.”
She shook her head against my shoulder. “Not over. Not over.” She choked on her sobs. “Not over.”
I scooped her out of the tub, not caring that I was now soaked. Drusilla tucked a towel around her, and I carried her into the bedroom. I sat down in one of the enormous leather armchairs while Drusilla stoked the fire until it raged.
I tucked a blanket around Elara, rubbing her all over, desperate to get some warmth back into her shivering frame. Her ribs contracted as she coughed out one sob after another.
Drusilla held her hands to her mouth as she watched us, and she shook her head as her eyes met mine. “What do we do?”
“Nothing.” I stroked Elara’s hair, holding her against me as she began to wail. “She needs to let it out.”
Drusilla’s eyes flashed to the door. “If the guards see you two like this-“
“They’ll die.” I nodded towards the door to her room. “You go on, lock the door, and you’re not a part of this anymore.”
She hesitated, then turned away from me with a heavy sigh and scurried into her room. The lock slid home with a metallic scrape, and then it was just me, holding the shivering princess.
She continued to thrash and cry in my arms, and I simply held her. She clawed at my chest, wrapped her arms around my neck, then let her head fall back, all the while sobbing and askingWhy why why. I had to assure her several times that her hands had no blood on them, holding them up in front of her red-rimmed eyes, only for her to collapse into hopeless sobs again.
I don’t know how long we sat like that, but by the time exhaustion took her, the sun had set behind the mountains and we were both completely dry. I thought she had fallen asleep, but when I looked down, she was lying against my chest, her hand over my heart, eyes staring at nothing.
“He’s broken me,” she finally said. “He’s broken me, Rook.”
I kissed the top of her head, stroking her shoulder. “No, my love. You’re too strong for that.”
She shook her head against my chest. “He has. He’s done it.”
I lifted her chin and broke her stare into nothingness. Her eyes were glazed with weariness when they met mine. “There is pain, certainly. But you are still there. You are still whole. I can feel it.” I clutched my hand over hers on my chest. “Here. I can feel you, all of you, right here.”
“He lied about you, didn’t he?”
“Of course he did.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she whimpered. “I couldn’t do that to you. Iwouldn'tdo that to you.”
“I’m sorry I believed him.” The sobs began to bubble up again. “I’m sorry I believed him over you.”
“It’s alright, my love. It’s alright now.”
