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Now, having told Toth the full story, she felt she’d honored her baby girl and the new mother who’d never gotten to experience life with her child.
Toth scratched his beard. “We can’t rule out Lionsgate completely. It’s possible your dad has had other business with them since.” His eyes turned sad, but instead of pity they held compassion. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You would have been a great mom.”
She dipped her head and chortled. “You don’t know that. A great mom wouldn’t have been in that position while pregnant in the first place.”
Toth’s hand caught her chin, forcing her to meet his stare. “Don’t.” The word came out harshly. “Don’t do that to yourself. The whole thing never should have happened. Jace should have protected you and her.” His fingers dropped to graze her stomach, which had once been swollen with her sweet baby. “If I’d been there. If I’d known you then...”
Her heart fluttered in her chest as warmth spread through her. “What?” she asked, needing to hear more.
He threaded his fingers into her hair. “I’dhave protected you.” His voice was rough, pained. And dammit, she believed him.
She smiled. “I wish things could have been different. And as crazy as it sounds,” she said, with a brittle laugh, “I didn’t get the chance to be angry at him.” She hung her head. “I didn’t get my feelings off my chest before Jace was gone. And while I hate him for what he did, part of me had to grieve his death, too.”
Toth rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Warmth spread through her and she ached to have known him then. Maybe, just maybe, things could have been different.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I can imagine those are confusing emotions.”
She nodded and wiped a tear. “Tell me about it. I just wanted to yell at him, you know? To let out all my anger and have him feel what I felt. I know he was hurting in his own way, and maybe having someone who’d lost the same person as I had... maybe it would have hurt a little less than being alone.”
She should have shied away from expressing such deep vulnerability. But dammit, she couldn’t. Toth was the first person to see past her tough exterior, the only person who’d even tried to look at her for more than face value. Talking to him had healed her battered soul more than time had since that fateful day.
He rested his palm on her bare leg. She still didn’t have pants on, and the feel of his skin sent a thrill along her nerve endings.
“We should head to bed,” he said softly.
She hooked up an eyebrow. “I thought we’d committed to the whole night,” she said, a playful note in her voice.
He grunted. “We’ve got a lot of hours over these next few days, and I plan to have you screaming my name for several of ’em. For now, we both need some sleep.”
Standing with her in his arms, he slowly lowered her to her feet.
She glanced down at her naked legs and blood rushed to her cheeks. “My pants...” She scanned the floor and scooped them up then stepped into the material.
Straightening, she smoothed the wild strands of her hair. “Sorry things got heavy.”
He caught her around the waist. “Don’t be sorry. I’m grateful you trusted me enough to share.”
She bowed her head then glanced up. “Guess I’ll go up.”
He nodded, letting his arm fall.
She turned but yearning made her swivel back to face him. God help her she couldn’t walk away from him. No way she could just climb into bed as if she hadn’t bared her heart and soul—and body—to him. She needed more. “Will you stay with me?” The question came out on a raspy breath.
The corners of his eyes rounded. Doubt pulled down the courage she’d mustered. Oh geez. If he said no, she’d kick herself. He already said he didn’t want to continue having sex and she’d just—
“Yeah.” He coughed, then his throat moved on a swallow. “’Course I will.”
His eyes danced and her insides reacted, lurching beneath his gaze. Toth might not be as intimidating as she thought, but he was just as dangerous... for her heart.
CHAPTER 15
After she’d cleanedherself up, Savannah opened the bathroom door and stepped into the main area of the loft. She wore his t-shirt that reached mid-thigh and panties underneath. Toth was already on the bed, an arm bent behind his head, his broad chest tanned against the plush white duvet. Her insides still tingled from her orgasms, her skin branded by his.
Lifting the edge of the blankets, she scooted her bare legs onto the mattress. Toth opened his arm for her, and she pressed against his side. He said nothing, but his gaze stayed glued to her lower body until she pulled the duvet to her chest. She pillowed her cheek in her hand on his pec, and he reached over and clicked off the light.
Darkness shrouded the room and Savannah closed her eyes. Toth’s chest rose and fell with his steady breath. Emotional fatigue made her eyes heavy, and her throat still hurt from crying. It’d been years since she cried about that day. Years since she mentally walked through those moments and doled them out.
The result was complete exhaustion. She let out a long sigh.
