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Love is about taking risks. I’ve taken plenty of risks on the court but never for a woman. The stakes are high, but I’m not about to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.
Chapter 12
TRINA
Our make-shift confession booth in Liam’s apartment is really a half bath.
Sure, the network has done an amazing job of making this look like a place for kissing instead of pooping, but I still shiver.
Liam assured me that hardly anyone used the spare toilet, and he always had a cleaner come in every week. Now that the network has taken over our lives, a maid cleans daily. Won’t complain about that one.
I peer into the camera lens despite the blinding lights. A red curtain hems me in, blocking my view of the “confession booth,” the nickname I’ve given it, and a velvet cushion hides the toilet seat I’m sitting on.
This time, I’m looking forward to my journal video. At least I’ll be talking to someone—kind of. We’ve been back on the mainland for six days, and Liam is out day and night, catching up on training and promotional gigs. What about “Bride at First Sight,” Liam? Thought we were in this thing together.
Well, I’m ready to tell America my newlywed woes. I can use his absence as the reason we break up after the show. He’ll look like the one who failed the marriage. That’s if I don’t find anything else on him before then.
I lean forward and press the record button. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. “Today, I’ve come to the realization that Liam may be repeating past relationship mistakes. His basketball career consumes his life. It’s been six lonely days for me. I’ve moved into his place, and nothing feels like mine. No wonder I’m homesick. Most of my family live in another state, and my friends are too far for a spontaneous shopping excursion or a cup of coffee.”
I did go out alone, but some people have recognized me from the show. One woman approached me in the grocery store, asking personal questions like she knew me. It’s so weird.
“This week has been a rude awakening of what my life could be like. Absent husband. What if I have children with this man? Will Liam be a team player at home?” Okay, so I’m being strategic here. I have no desire to have a family with him. He’s not my future. I wouldn’t trust him to be a faithful husband. Too many temptations within easy reach. I vividly recall the opening night of “Bride at First Sight” and how women hung all over him. Why does it make me sick thinking about it now? I hold my stomach and breathe again.
“America, what should I do? Do I try harder? Make him delicious meals? Go and watch him at his training sessions and wait in the bleachers for the crumbs of his attention? Ladies, what would you do? I’ve heard the first year of marriage is difficult, but how can we work on it if we don’t spend time together? He’s so tired when he gets home that he showers and goes straight to sleep.”
All true. But here is where my strategy comes in. “But you know what? I believe in Liam and his career. I want to get right behind him and support him one hundred percent. I’m going to do everything in my power to make this marriage work. Do you believe I can do it? Are you all behind me?” Now here comes the call to action. I don’t know if I’m allowed to do this, but the editor can take it out if it’s not permitted. “Vote for us if you believe we can turn this setback into a setup for a successful marriage. Your encouragement means everything to me. Thanks for listening.”
I switch off the camera and drop my head in my hands. Man, that took a lot out of me. Being vulnerable and open comes at a cost. But I see Anthony’s point. I will see a return. A swirl of emotion stirs in my belly. Why is there moisture in my eyes? I’m not going to cry over Liam Ashley. He doesn’t deserve it.
Maybe I feel like crying because I depended on him too much that first week. He got me through some tough moments when I wanted to give up. Now I must rely on myself. I’ve got to focus on the end goal. I will make this work for my career.
Time to write another article from M.J. Albert.
***
ISTARE OUT THE WINDOWof Liam’s high-rise apartment. The night-time traffic streams by in short bursts of light. Tires roar, then fade. Our dinner waits in the warm oven. The cameras need to see me making an effort, and although I’m annoyed that Liam is late again, it shows the viewers that he’s the one letting the home team down.
