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She could call Cash. He’d tell her to let Felix make his own decisions, that it wasn’t her place to command or compel her grown son. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it didn’t matter. He was the one she wanted to tell her troubles to.
Her gaze slid to the empty side of the queen bed. He’d spent two nights there two weeks ago and his absence was almost as gaping as Mark’s had been after twenty-two years of marriage. She reached for her phone.
He answered on the first ring, almost as if he’d been waiting. “Hey.”
The single bass syllable resonated deep within her. She sighed in relief. “Hey.”
“What’s wrong?”
How did he know? What had he heard in her voice? “I’m sorry to call so late. Did I wake you?”
“No. You going to answer my question?”
She slid further down the pillows and rolled to her side. Delilah and Abra would be asleep by now and there was little chance of disturbing them. Still, she kept the phone pressed to her ear and her voice low. “Felix isn’t going back to university in the fall.”
Cash’s response was immediate. “And you think it’s a mistake.”
“Of course it’s a mistake.” Her whisper hissed with snake-like sibilance. “He only has one year left to finish his degree. Why not stick it out a little longer? Why throw away the last three years?”
He grunted, but she couldn’t read the meaning behind it. “What’s he going to do instead?”
“He’s getting a promotion at work.” Her free fingers pleated the cotton of her duvet cover.
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“Not at the expense of his education.” There was no doubt in her mind about that. None at all.
Her flat, uncompromising statement severed the conversation like a machete. The longer the silence grew, the more restless and edgy she became. She broke first. “Cash?”
“I’m thinking. Wait.” His tone brooked no disagreement.
She flopped onto her back, squiggled into a sitting position, reached for the velvet throw pillow she’d tossed aside when she’d climbed into bed an hour ago, and doodled in the plush nap.
His gravelly voice rumbled into her ear. “Are you upset because he’s doing the same thing you did? Quitting university without a degree?”
She shouldn’t have been surprised he remembered. Cash remembered everything. And the fact he could use that knowledge to pinpoint the deepest, darkest reason for her distress didn’t shock her, either. She was beginning to think he knew her better than anyone ever had.
“Of course it is.” Her own bitterness shocked her, but she kept on going. “How can I let Felix make the same mistake? All I’m asking for is one more year. Then he can do whatever he wants. But at least he’d have that piece of paper to prove he’d done something with his life.”
“Do you really define success by a piece of paper?” Cash’s tone was sombre. “I didn’t graduate high school, you know. I got my GED years later. And I learned mechanics on the job. I have no official accreditation.”
Oh, god. She hadn’t meant to make Cash feel as worthless as she felt herself. “You have something better. You have talent. I don’t know much about motorcycles, but I know you have loyal customers because they trust your knowledge, your skills. You don’t need a piece of paper to prove anything. To me or anyone else.”
“Then why does Felix?”
Her mouth gaped open and closed like a beached fish. “That’s different.”
“Why?”
She had no answer. Tears of frustration burned her eyes.
“It’s his decision, isn’t it.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Damn it.” She held back a sob as her indignation deflated. “I suppose I have to let the girls go to Mexico too.”
“You were always going to.”
Again, his knowledge of her inner self was both flattering and irritating. She sighed. “Yeah.”
