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She clicked through to the program page on the College of New Caledonia website. It was a wonder her computer didn’t do it automatically, as she’d visited it frequently since her confrontation with Cash.
The first two days, she’d spent far too much time with her comforter stuffed in her mouth muffling her sobs, desperate to hide the depths of her despair from her sons. Her bones ached with the effort it took to appear normal. Between Cash’s rejection and the pain of missing her daughters, she’d felt a ghost of her usual self.
One positive had come out of her agony. She’d finally learned her lesson. Loving someone didn’t give her the right or the ability to control them. She loved Cash with an intensity that frightened her, and he hadn’t returned that love. He’d made his own choice, just as her children would have to make theirs.
And she had to make hers.
She’d discovered the Medical Laboratory Technician diploma program by accident. Unlike so many of the jobs and courses she’d reviewed over the summer, she knew in her bones she’d be good at it, that she’d enjoy it.
Seats were limited and she had no idea how her qualifications would compare to someone fresh out of high school. But she’d never know unless she tried.
It was time to reclaim Penta Unleashed, even if she felt a pale imitation without Cash by her side.
With a deep breath, she started typing.
A FEW HOURS LATER, Penta joined the rest of the Silverberries at Helen and Nathan’s lakeside cabin. Their August event was an all-day affair marking the anniversary of the first time they had discarded serious book talk for more adventurous pursuits.
The rain and cooler temperatures of last Sunday’s storm hadn’t lasted forty-eight hours, and Penta was sweating, despite wearing nothing but a one-piece navy-blue bathing suit and lying in the protective shade of a large patio umbrella. She and Terrance had claimed the loungers on a deck overhanging the beach, while other members of the club, including their hosts, played in the water and lazed on the dock below.
“You’re rather quiet, my dear.” In concession to the searing temperatures, Terrance had removed his silk scarf. He used it now to blot his upper lip. His khaki shorts were stiff with starch, his collared shirt a jaunty blue, and his bare feet protected by uncreased deck shoes.
“Am I?” She sipped her iced orange juice and placed it on the small table between them. While her last painful scene with Cash played almost constantly in her mind, forming a barrier between her and the real world, it now vied for precedence over the application she’d submitted earlier that day. Her mind ping-ponged between the two with a ferocity that presaged a headache later. “It’s this heat.”
“Liar. I know you better than that. Tell Uncle Terrance all.”
It was his usual invitation, the lightly humorous tone and wording giving her the space to accept or reject without censure.
She wasn’t ready to talk about going back to school. She might not get accepted, and if so wanted no one to know about her attempt. As for Cash, she was afraid she might burst into tears if she mentioned his name. Her only option was to change the topic, so answered with a question of her own. “How’s Bennett?”
Terrance flicked a non-existent speck from his shorts. “I wouldn’t know. He moved out.”
“What?” Penta bolted upright and swung her bare feet to the wooden deck. “When? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“A couple of weeks ago. And I was hoping he’d come back so I wouldn’t have to tell anyone at all.” He kept his face averted, but now that she looked at him, really looked, she could see the signs of strain around his mouth and eyes, the pasty texture of his skin.
“I’m so sorry.” Maybe Cash’s brutal accusations had been right. Had her infatuation with him caused her to become oblivious to everyone else?
“Yes. Me, too.”
She patted his hand in a pathetic gesture of sympathy. “I thought things were getting better. What happened?”
Terrance shrugged and smoothed the thinning hair on his scalp. “You know he is more than fifteen years younger than me?”
She nodded, not quite seeing the point but willing to let him explain in his own way.
“We’ve been together since he was twenty-two. Married when he was twenty-four. It would have been our tenth anniversary this December.”
She squeezed his forearm, offering wordless comfort.
“He says that he was too young when we married to know what he really wanted in life. That he needs the chance to meet other people, do other things. That our life is too regimented, too structured.” Terrance’s voice was colourless. It was such a dramatic change from his usual flamboyant gaiety Penta shivered.
She shifted onto the edge of his lounger and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He tucked his face into her neck and embraced her tightly. He made no sound, but his shoulders shook with tiny tremors, and she knew the dampness on her collarbone wasn’t only sweat.
After a few minutes, he drew back and wiped his eyes with his scarf. “Don’t tell anyone else, will you? I’m not ready for them to know.”
“Of course not.” She scooted back to her own seat. “Maybe it will still work out. He might just need some time away.”
“Maybe.” His eyes held little hope, but he offered a tentative smile. “Don’t think I didn’t notice.”
