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My whole life, I’ve had expectations on my back.
Most people would think I’m a dumbass for not getting the courage to break up with her. I mean, everyone breaks up with someone at some point in their lives.
I find myself in an incredibly challenging situation where my relationship with my girlfriend is intertwined with the expectations placed upon me due to her father’s investment in Elektra motorsports.
The fear of conflict, rejection, or being seen as selfish drives me to prioritize the needs and expectations of others above my own happiness. It’s difficult to find the courage to assert my own desires and make choices that align with my true feelings.
But on top of it all, my father’s life work in getting me out of my situation with my mother will go to waste. That man invested his whole life into me becoming who I am today because he believed in me. I don’t want to throw my whole career away because I want to be romantically involved with someone else.
That would taint my father’s life work and I refuse to let that happen.
The guilt weighs heavily on me because I know my girlfriend deserves someone who can wholeheartedly reciprocate her love. It’s unfair to her to continue a relationship where my feelings are divided. I feel like I’m being dishonest, even though I haven’t openly expressed my emotions for Vio.
So here I am, leaving to go do my job that I love so much.
But it doesn’t feel right.
Because I’m leaving Vio in light of all this passion for Formula One inside of me. It’s a hard combination to understand because she has become the forefront of my mind.
Not Marrisa or the adjustments to the car. Violetta is the only thing I can think about and it’s maddening.
We all have different passions.
Vio’s is tennis and mine is F1. But sometimes those passions get in the way of wanting to get to know someone better. I know I like Violetta; there’s no question about it.
But I have to live with the consequences of my own actions. That means me leaving and saying goodbye to someone I want with me.
As I step through the hotel’s elevator, the air is filled with a subtle blend of pleasant scents, creating an inviting atmosphere. The lighting is warm, with soft overhead chandeliers and lamps illuminating different corners of the room.
There aren’t many people situated at the entrance of the hotel. Which is a complete contrast to what it’s usually like for Formula One drivers. Most fans find out where we are staying, so they sit in the lobby or outside the hotel for autographs and pictures.
But even so, I like the calming feel of the environment.
“What time are we getting to Bahrain?” Marrisa asks me as she puts her hand on my arm, holding it tight, keeping me close to her.
I look into her eyes. “Late at night,” is all I say because I don’t know how fast the plane is going to fly from Australia to Bahrain.
“Good, that means we have more time together.” She beams up at me and then pecks my nose with her lips. I smile down at her, but inside I’m disgusted with myself.
Well, now that Vio’s in the equation, I don’t like her kissing me or dotting on me, for that matter. She’s my girlfriend and I’ve known her for so long, yet I don’t think I like her like that anymore.
Fuck.
“Mr. Valente, your car is waiting for you outside,” the receptionist tells me once I’m done checking out of my room.
“Thank you,” I tell her, not letting the pressure get to me.
I’m waiting for Violetta to come down and say goodbye to me for however long it takes.
“I’ll let you say goodbye to”—she pauses—“your friend,” Marrisa tells me, obviously feeling awkward after Vio saw her in the state she was in last night.
Once Vio was at the door asking me about what time I was leaving last night, the mood between me and Marrisa died.
Not like there was much of a spark there before Vio showed up, but even so, we fell asleep soon after.
“Okay,” I respond. She kisses me and then walks off with our suitcases in her hands.
Sitting on the couch for a few minutes, I look at my phone, checking to see if Vio has texted me at all. But there are no unread messages between us.
