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I kiss him again; his words mean a lot.
But will it be enough?
“When are you going to break up with her?” I ask the question I’m thinking.
“I attempted yesterday. She initiated the conversation saying we needed to talk. At first, I thought she was breaking up with me, but it was far from that. I need to do it in a public situation because doing it in private is only going to make me feel worse.”
“Do you feel bad if you break up with her?”
“When I break up with her,” he corrects me. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t. I mean, I cheated on her; with the person I know I’m going to be with in the long run. But even so, it’s fucked up. No cheating is excused in any circumstance. Our situation isn’t an exception to that. I don’t want to be the cause of her pain and I know that once we break up and she sees me with you all over the media, it will hurt her. So yes, I do feel bad.”
His words sting a tiny bit, but yet there’s a reality check in his words.
Even though Marrisa was just rude to me, it all stemmed from her pain of not being the only person in Xavier’s eye. I may have hated what she said to me, but she’s not in the wrong.
I am.
“How did we get into this mess?” I groan out.
“Because the things that are messiest sometimes turn into the best things we’ve ever created.”
“You’re going to have to break up with her and either way it will always turn out the same,” I tell him truthfully.
This is a situation where no matter what we do, it will have the same outcome. If he likes it or not, it will always be the exact same.
“Don’t tell me that. I still don’t think I’m ready to tell her.”
“Xavier, you promised me you would do it.”
“And you promised me we wouldn’t be intimate and look at the situation we’re in.”
I hop off his lap as if I’m sitting on coal.
“You know what, if you don’t break up with her by the time I’m at Roland-Garros, don’t even try to talk to me.”
“Well, that escalated fast,” he mutters under his breath, and I hear it as clear as day.
“What did you just say?” Now I’m angry.
“Vio, calm down.”
“Number one rule, never tell a woman to calm down.”
“Vio!” he calls out my name as I start to walk toward the door.
“You know what.” I stop in my tracks. “I’m not done. Remember what you told me on the second day we met.”
“Vio, that was different.”
“No, it’s not! I remember it verbatim; you told me that sometimes you have to be selfish, take risks, and don’t apologize for wanting to do something for yourself for a change.” I grab the handle to the door and open it slightly. “Live by your own words, pretty boy.” The door slams behind me.
MAY
Chapter60
Xavier
ME: I know you don’t understand, but just know that if I had the option, it would always be you.
