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BLONDIE: Understand my ass and you have the option.
ME: I don’t like you cursing at me, I’d rather you curse for me.
BLONDIE: Get used to it, sunshine.
I’m here, but she doesn’t know it.
Me surprising her might backfire massively or it’ll resolve this ache in my chest. We don’t text as much as we used to and when we do, she’s always mad.
Sending me the same question.
Have you broken up with her yet?
I never respond because I haven’t. Every time I get up the guts to do so, something happens. Her dogs are sick or she tells me she wants to work on things. All those things aren’t excuses, but they string me along.
I’m in France, it’s the second grand slam of the year, and yet Vio’s ultimatum rings in my mind. She told me in Azerbaijan that if I didn’t break up with Marrisa by the time Roland-Garros came along, she would be done with whatever we are.
Trust me, I’ve tried, maybe not hard enough, but even so, it’s this complicated relationship I have with my mind.
I need and want to break up with Marrisa, yet guilt takes over.
I cheated hard and that overshadows my original reasons as to why I couldn’t end things.
In my opinion, cheating on a person is one of the worst things a human being could do to another.
Yet here I am in this position.
Am I a bad person?
I damn sure feel like one.
Vio’s on my mind at all times. I want our relationship to go back to the way it was before we left Brazil. I didn’t care about anything but her. We were happy.
But have we ever really been happy?
My actions are preventing that from happening.
The distinctive aroma of freshly laid clay permeates the air.
I had asked Vio before why she loved playing on clay courts so much and she didn’t fail to describe how she feels while playing on it.
She called it the embodiment of elegance and tradition, bathed in warm hues under the gentle rays of the sun.
She’s almost poetic half of the time and knowing this is her favorite court to play on as well the one she’s the best at, it sends a thrill through me. I can’t help but marvel at the stunning color. It’s as if the fine particles of clay form a textured canvas of possibility.
Once I make my way to the seats just above Vio’s box, I see exactly what she means. The court is a bright red-orange surface holding a power that transcends the mere game itself.
I’m excited to see what’s about to ensue.
Vio walks out onto the court with headphones on. She wants to block out any noise around her. People start cheering; it’s the first round of a grand slam. Of course, people are on the edge of their seats, waiting to watch it unfold in front of their eyes.
Sasha Kennedy, her opponent from the first round of Indian Wells, comes walking out behind her. Even though all the brackets are created by a draw, out of luck, Vio has a rematch and I know she’s been waiting for it.
Overall, she has the advantage since she plays her best on clay.
Vio has a real chance at winning this tournament.
She looks incredibly focused; she takes out her tennis racket.
