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A phone sits on the glass.
“This is the phone with all three of your sibling’s phone numbers in it. They all live in Brazil and would love to meet up with you.”
“Do they know about it?” I ask.
“They don’t know that specific detail, but what they do know is that I fucked up exponentially. If you respect me in any way, I would appreciate you not telling them for their own sakes, not my own.”
“One thing I want to make clear is that I have no respect for you whatsoever. I will assess your trust fund children myself and see if I respect them enough to keep them away from this hell that is knowing that the man who is supposed to protect me and love his own child did the exact opposite. I will fulfill this request for myself, not you.”
“That’s enough for me.” He’s crying.
This is the part where I feel bad and in a way I do. He seems miserable and he’s dying. All the words that need to be said have left my mouth and there’s no more pain.
It’s funny how by saying what you feel can change the way you know yourself. I told him every horrid thing under the sun and yet my people-pleasing tendencies didn’t stop me from uttering a word. Even if someone has so much hate toward another, sometimes compassion can come flying in like a bullet.
Because my hate has turned into something different.
I look at my dying biological father; he’s pale. No energy in his expression.
The need to do one last thing so I don’t regret not giving him any remorse in my life takes over.
So I don’t walk out just yet.
Because even if he isn’t my father, he’s still a person. He’s done horrid things and I’m the result of that. I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t do what he did.
Does that erase the act from existence?
Not even close.
He doesn’t deserve any redemption.
He doesn’t even deserve my remorse, but I give it to him anyway.
My feet carry me to the side of his chair. I kiss him on the forehead. “The only thing I thank you for is for letting me be here. I’ve lived a life of pain and happiness. I’m in love with someone and I wouldn’t have been here to witness that love if it wasn’t for you. In no way do my words wipe away the resentment I carry toward you. But I do hope your death is painless.” I don’t look at him as I walk out through the door and the maze that is his house.
Once I step out into the open air, I’m free.
I am free from those shackles he had around my wrists for so long.
And God, does it feel so fucking good.
Chapter66
Xavier
I’m at the beach.
The only place where Vio’s presence is here with me.
She brings me peace and that’s exactly what I need right now. I wish she were here at this moment, but I know that everything was meant to happen this way.
She was meant to stand up for herself and walk away so that I could talk to my mom who would inevitably send me here alone to face the worst parts of my past.
It’s all on purpose even though it hurts like a damn truck for her not to be here.
She’s the only person who I’ve shared my heart with apart from my mother. Even my mom didn’t get my feelings from my own mouth. The words I never told her are things I’ve shared with Vio.
I hurt her and that pains me more than anything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours.
