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Happy squeals flood the cab, and I can’t fight the smile that blooms at their delight. My eyes meet Alex’s, his smile softening as his gaze drops.I’m imagining that, right? Surely, he’s not looking at my lips right now. He turns his attention back to the road at the same moment I feel my cheeks heating in a blush.Goddammit, what iswrongwith me?I press my palms into my thighs, hoping the pressure will ease my sudden nerves.
We turn right onto the snowy road leading to the Christmas tree farm, and the girls lean forward, trying to catch a glimpse through the windshield. The farm is picture perfect, with a giant red barn and horses standing out in a paddock beside the most beautiful farmhouse. To the left is a field of evergreen trees, covered in a fresh snowfall.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. It’s been years since I came to pick out a tree here, and it’s more surreal than I remember. “Like out of a movie.”
Alex parks the truck beside the gate before turning to me and the girls. His knee bumps mine, and I have to force myself not to react. I’m suddenly too hot, and my attention zeroes in on where we connect. The gentle pressure of his knee against mine feels nice, grounding.
“Alright girls,” he says, smiling conspiratorially at his daughters. I swear, I’m about to have a heart attack from these smiles he keeps throwing out. “Now, we can get a tree, but you need to remember how big our house is. We need one just a little taller than Daddy, okay?”
I grin as they both nod seriously.
“What about Miss Jana’s tree?” Maddie asks. I glance at Alex, but he’s already watching me. My cheeks flush with heat as they wait for me to explain.
“Oh, my house is very small,” I say, turning to face the girls. I try to pretend he isn’t studying the side of my face. “I need a little tree, something a little taller than Morgan.”
“That’s so tiny!” Maddie says, her face scrunching up.
“I’m not tiny!” Morgan argues back, her brows furrowing as she pouts.
“No, you’re not,” I say, calming her with a sugary-sweet tone. “It’ll be the perfect size to go on my friend’s piano.”
“You have a piano?” Maddie asks, awestruck.
“Yeah.” I smile, looking between the girls. “Do you know how to play?”
“Daddy used to play for Mama when I was little,” Maddie says with a wistful smile on her lips. I can tell I’ve struck a nerve when Alex tenses beside me. When I peek at him out of the corner of my eye, I notice his smile has dropped. Maddie’s voice is small when she speaks again. “I miss her.”
“It’s okay to miss your mama,” I say softly, settling my hand over hers on the back of my seat. I remember how devastated Hadlee had been when her parents separated, and she’d been older than these two. I can’t imagine how difficult a divorce would be for them. My heart hammers in my chest, and I smile gently when she looks up at me through watery lashes. “I miss my mama too.”
“Where’s your mama?” Morgan asks. I turn my attention to her, taking in her soft blonde hair and amber eyes—exactly like her dad’s. Her bottom lip wobbles, and I offer her a kind smile.
“In heaven, I think,” I say, tilting my head. Her eyes widen, a delighted grin lighting her face.
“Do you think your mama knows my mama?”
I look at Alex, my eyes wide and my heart breaking for him. His warm amber eyes have misted over, and he rubs a hand over his jaw, as if that will hold the emotions threatening to bubble over at bay. I lick my lips, swallowing past the lump forming in my throat. My mind races, trying to find something to say, but knowing nothing I say will ease that pain.
“Definitely,” I say, giving a sharp nod as I smile at the girls. “I think my mama is sitting with your mama, and they’re probably telling each other stories.”
“Mama loves stories!” Morgan giggles, blinking away the dampness in her eyes. Her chubby cheeks are tinged pink, and her pretty smile brightens the mood inside the cab. I grin back at her, glad I prevented it from progressing past misty eyes.
“So does my mama,” I say, looking between the girls. “You know what else she loved?”
“What?” they coo in tandem, and I offer a secret smile.
“Christmas.”
???
Hadlee: I got held up at the salon...
you can get the tree by yourself, right?
Me: yeah, I guess?
Hadlee: you're a lifesaver
Hadlee: I'll help you decorate tonight!
