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“Not really,” he says, sounding slightly bored. “After I dropped you off, I had to run to the store to get Maddie’s Christmas present. She’s been begging for that model train with the lights that blows steam.”
“Did you find one?” I ask, setting the book on top of the pile in front of me.
“Yeah, finally.” When I glance at him, his eyes are distant, and he mindlessly twirls a strand of my dark hair around his finger. “I had to drive out to Windham to get it.”
“That’s quite the drive,” I say, tapping my pen against the table in a soft rhythm. He offers a noncommittal hum, still distracted. Lifting my hand, I bite the cuticle of my thumb. George started acting this way a few months before I caught him in bed with his secretary. “Are you okay, Alex?”
“What?” He turns to me, blinking the fog from his eyes. I rest my hand on my knee, tapping, trying to relieve myself of the anxiety bubbling up.This can’t be happening. Not again.
“Are you okay?” My voice is small, mirroring how I feel.
“Yeah, of course,” he says, shaking his head a little and smiling at me. He pulls me closer and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Just a little distracted. Do you want a ride home?”
I feel the pressure of tears behind my eyes and mentally curse myself for being so emotional. Nodding, I struggle to my feet. “Yeah, it’s getting late.”
“Jana, is everything okay?” Alex asks, following me closely as I gather my coat and bag. I feel him at my back as I straighten up, the tears threatening to fall at any moment. I blink, begging them to disappear, with no such luck. Alex moves around me as the first ones fall, and even through the salt water, I can see the concern on his face. “Why are you crying?”
“Oh my god, I’m sorry,” I say, wiping away the traitorous tears. I wasn’t going to bring it up. I was going to let him tell me, but I couldn’t stop these damn waterworks.
“Sorry?” Alex looks confused. He cups my cheek, his thumb dragging through the path of the tears as he studies my face. “Why are you apologizing for crying? You’re allowed to have feelings, Jana.”
Even now, he’s better than either of my cheating exes.
“I saw you,” I say, my cheeks flushing as I get more worked up. He still looks confused, his amber eyes holding nothing but concern. I’m sure I look ridiculous, the flashbacks to Jonathon laughing in my face when I reacted to finding him with his TA coming in full force. “I saw you with the blonde woman.”
Understanding floods his countenance, and I hate the hurt that flashes across his handsome face.
“At the diner.” It’s not a question. He knows exactly what I’m talking about. “And you thought…”
“Alex, I—”
“No, it’s okay,” he says, a soft, sad smile appearing. “I meant what I said, Jana. I’m willing to wait for you. Forever.”
My heart does a little flop, my stomach tightening in anticipation. He’s so close, I can see the whisper of gray in his beard, the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. When his lips touch mine, it’s like I’m frozen in time. Warmth seeps into me at his touch, and I let my eyes drift shut.
He holds me like I’m fragile, as though I’ll break if he puts too much pressure on me. It’s me who moves to deepen the kiss, swiping my tongue over his lips. When they part, slanting over mine, I feel like I’m falling, endlessly.
By the time we pull apart, my tears have dried, and my heart hurts a little less. Alex presses soft kisses to my lips and jaw, his fingers sliding down my arm until he laces our fingers together. I let him guide me back to the couch and settle beside him. We sit in silence for a moment, just existing in each other’s presence.
“The blonde woman you saw at the diner.” Alex pauses, looking down at our hands clasped against his knee. His brow furrows, his jaw jumping. He swallows roughly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “She’s Laura’s little sister—my sister-in-law.”
“Oh.” Sister-in-law? The chemistry between them seemed like so much more.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Jana,” he says, lifting my hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to my knuckles. Don’t I? My gut twists. The shared loss, the resemblance to his dead wife—how is that nothing to worry about?
I nod.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
I follow his lead, walking to the door and pulling my coat on. As we step outside, fresh snow falling, I glance up and down the street while he locks the door. I inhale, the icy air burning down my esophagus before I exhale a shuddering breath. Nothing to worry about. I force a smile as he turns around.
“Are you really not going to decorate the store for Christmas?”
He laughs, pulling me into his side as we walk toward his truck. “Who knows. You might convince me yet, darling.”
Chapter Sixteen
Alex
