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He was like a lion, waking up lazily and taking a stroll, knowing he was secure in his kingdom. Yet drawing the eyes of every creature watching. You couldn’t help but look while you knew you should probably run.
I nodded my head, without even debating my answer. “Sure, I’m heading to the kitchen to help with breakfast, but I need to detour past my cabin first. I need some fresh clothes. I’ve worn everything I had stashed here.”
“You don’t live here?”
“No, well I didn’t. I always spent a lot of time up here, but I mostly slept in my cabin. It’s a studio and perfect for one person.”
“Maybe we could help you move your stuff up here? If you want to, I mean. I don’t think either Dio or Pala are going to want to sleep anywhere except with you from now on.”
“Yeah, being up here with them feels right for me, too.”
“Consider it done, then. Just let us know when you’re ready.”
“Okay, thanks. We could maybe just grab my clothes later today. The big stuff might have to wait a bit. There’s so much going on right now. I don’t know when I’ll have time to sort through everything and work out what will fit in up here. I might donate some of it to other families now that we can’t just get furniture and homewares delivered online.”
“Sure, of course.” We stared awkwardly at each other for a moment until Sam stepped back and gestured at the door.
I put the camera and the photos down on the dining table and peeked over at Dave as I passed. I’d thought he was asleep, but I caught him shutting his eyes quickly when he saw me glance at him. He had a small grin on his face he couldn’t hide, either.
He looked like he’d fallen asleep reading one of my books I had stashed around last night. It was lying open on his chest. I glanced at the cover and it had a blue barbarian and a dark haired girl on it. It was one of my smut books.Asshat.He better be getting some ideas from that one. It was hot.
Sam was the perfect gentleman as we headed to my cabin, walking near, but not too close. I invited him in when he hesitated at the door. I grabbed some clothes quickly and ducked into the bathroom to change.
When I came out, Sam was looking at some of my photos on the walls. “Did you take these?”
I nodded as he turned to look over his shoulder at me. The photos were intensely personal for me. I liked to filter my world through the safety of a lens sometimes. I also liked the way it could bring out the beauty in ordinary items and everyday moments.
“They’re stunning.” He was looking closely at a blown up portrait of a farm worker out in the fields. He was the grandfather of one of our founding families and insisted on helping to keep himself active. His face was a map of his life, all leathery texture and lines from a life spent in the sun. He had his hat clutched to his chest, and he was laughing, joy lighting up his face. You could see members of his family in the background as they worked. For me, it perfectly captured what this farm was all about.
Sam reached out to stroke the man’s face through the glass of the frame. It probably reminded him of his gramps. There was a tenderness in the gesture and I assumed I’d lost him to his own memories. I pottered around, gathering up a few things and tidying others away quickly. I hadn’t known the last time I was here that I wouldn’t be back for a while.
“Who are these men?” He asked, a rough note entering his voice. I spun around and noticed him holding a photo album, filled with photos of men, all taken with a telephoto lens as they went about their day. He gripped the edge of the album so hard his knuckles were white as he flipped through the pages with his other hand. I sensed he was trying not to spill his dominance and his scent all over my space.
Shit. It wasn’t what it looked like.
“Uh, the women I help rescue from crappy situations often have very pissed off, volatile partners. I take a photo of each one just in case any of the women disappear. So I have something I can show to the police.”
He shot me a look that was full of surprise but also impressed. “You’ve helped this many women?”
I shrugged as I turned back to what I was doing. “I’ve been doing it for about seven years.”
Sam’s next words came from right behind me, where I was standing next to my kitchen bench. I hadn’t heard him move. “This place feels like you.”
“What, small and messy?” I shot over my shoulder.
“No,” he chuckled, “bright and fun, a little wild.”
I looked around at the yellow kitchen cabinets, blue couch and an eclectic mix of brightly colored throws and pots. When I’d moved out of home, I’d been so young, and home had always been a mausoleum, dark and cold. I’d built up a collection of bright things to surround myself with, knowing I was the only person I had to please and could make my new space my own. I’d brought it all with me when I moved to the farm.
“But it’s also closed off, contained,” he added, “it keeps everyone at a distance. Their lives all represented secondhand. You’re not in any of your pictures.”
I looked around as he spoke. This place was small, and he was right, there really wasn’t room for any visitors. It had been my sanctuary for years, but it had also been my fortress of solitude. Maia was the only other visitor I’d ever really had in here. When I socialized, I usually did it elsewhere. I realized suddenly this cabin no longer felt like home. My heart was up in the treehouse and people filled it now.
It made me ache that Sam saw me so clearly. So few did.
“I’m so glad you let Dio and Pala in. I hope one day you can let me in too,” he said with a quiet intensity. His body heat warmed my back, and my hair stirred gently, as if he’d run his fingers through it lightly, making me shiver.
He was silent for a moment and I closed my eyes, just enjoying the sense of him in my space without his rage and frustration pounding me, stirring me to action. He cleared his throat roughly, and I felt my body chill at the loss of his warmth as he stepped away.
