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She gave me the tiniest, reluctant nod. Her teary eyes shining in the torchlight. They were begging me to give her some explanation she could understand. Something that would make it better. But I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to be the one to tell her this. I remembered the devastation when her father died, how broken she’d been and how helpless Ryder and I had felt.
“Ava, your uncle, and your mother both died ten years ago.”
Her shocked gasp echoed in the tunnel around us as her pain speared me. My arms went slack around her as my guilt tore through me. I should have done more. I should have saved her from this.
She froze for a heartbeat, before a cry ripped from her throat and she launched herself out of my arms.
She was gone in the next heartbeat. Disappearing into the darkness of the tunnel as if she’d never existed.
Again.
ten
Iranblindly,mytears silently running down my face, as I tried to escape his words. The darkness enveloped me in a tomb, the cold seeping into my bones as my heartbeat pounded in my ears.
I was so tired of being alone, yet I hadn’t even known how truly alone I was. Everyone in my family was gone, except me. I’d been an orphan for a decade, living on fairytales and lies.
I needed out, now. Out of this darkness, and away from these oppressive walls. They were closing in on me.
Light filtering in through the secret door to our suite appeared like an apparition. I was grateful we’d left it propped open as I burst through into the room, but it wasn’t enough. This place felt cursed. Its walls steeped in pain.
I kept running, straight out the suite doors, and collided with someone. “What the hell?” Nicole screeched as she shoved me back roughly.
I couldn’t stop, though. I could barely apologize. Grief had obliterated my polite princess act. My frenzied flight took me into the corridor and down the grand staircase, as my tears almost blinded me. I faintly heard Nick call my name, but I couldn’t stop. If I stopped, I would break. I knew River was behind me, keeping pace, but not stopping me. He knew me, knew I needed to run. He barked something about sweeping the tunnel to someone, but I didn’t catch it all. My focus was in front of me.
The sunlight blinded me as I burst through the main doors. I stumbled when I hit the front steps, but I grabbed onto the railing and kept going. My breaths came in great gasping pants, the pain in my lungs almost a comfort. I’d rather that pain any day than the one in my heart.
The Palace gates were in front of me and two trail bikes were tearing down the main road beyond them, heading straight for me. I felt hunted, and haunted, so I headed for the only safe space I knew. The giant tree within the wooded area on the Palace grounds. The place I would escape to whenever I evaded my handler and couldn’t find Maia in the library. Where I went to let my soul breathe, even for a little while. I’d climb the tree to let sunlight wash over me, and the breeze stir my hair. I’d sit and remember what it felt like to be loved and free.
Shouting in the distance chased me through the woods until I felt the branches of the giant tree spread out over me. I’d poured my troubles into this tree many times before. It could take one more. I dropped to my knees under its embrace and let loose the scream that had been building in my throat. It tore loose and all my pain came tumbling out until it left me with nothing but a numb emptiness.
Startled birds took flight around me and running footsteps came crashing through the undergrowth. Suddenly Cary was there, his arms and legs wrapped around me as he cradled me and surrounded me with his calm, steadfast presence.
“Ava, what’s wrong?” He panted, out of breath. I had no words to answer him right now.
“What the hell happened?” came Ryder’s angry voice behind me. I heard a crash and a roar as leaves came swirling down around me. I looked up, startled, to see Wolf had River pinned against the tree trunk. River barely registered him. We locked eyes as he answered his brother.
“She didn’t know her mother and uncle were dead. No one had ever told her.”
Ryder spun back toward me and his eyes burned into me, but I couldn’t look at him right now.
Dead. That word reverberated through me as if someone had struck a gong. My mother. My uncle. Gone. All this time. In the dark of night I’d wondered, but in the light of day I’d never let myself believe it. I’d made up many scenarios over the years to explain their silence. They’d gone into the underground resistance. They were building an army, as my uncle had promised. My mother had remarried, and they were staying away to keep my baby brothers and sisters safe. They’d become pirates and were sailing the high seas. Anything was better than the obvious answer.
I closed my eyes to block the world out. A childish move, but I felt so brittle. As if the slightest poke would break me. Shatter me into a million pieces.
Suddenly Wolf was there, surrounding us both and offering us the protection of his giant body. He pulled both Cary and me into him. He felt solid, as if the world could break against him and he wouldn’t shatter. His scent flooded me, the night orchids, ginger and mossy jungle scents fitted this space, and calmed me. I whimpered as the most delicious feeling, almost a vibration, passed through me and washed everything clean. It was intoxicating. I snuggled myself deeper into him and Cary moaned on my other side as he tried to get closer, too.
“What the hell is that?” Ryder asked.
“He’s purring,” Nick answered. “Damon does it for Maia, too. It’s a prime alpha thing. It calms their omega.”
I vaguely remembered Maia and Lexie giggling about it. Sam did it too. They were right. It was the bomb. My whole body felt like a marshmallow, soft and relaxed. It didn’t take away the pain, but it softened its edges. Made everything feel dreamy, but more bearable. I took a deep breath, able to breathe freely again.
“You’re a prime alpha?” Cary asked Wolf. Wolf just grunted, which I figured was a yes. I noticed River and Ryder exchanging glances.
As if we’d yanked insistently on a string and drawn them to us, River and Ryder both slid closer. River settled in alongside us, wrapping an arm around me. Ryder hesitated, but sat down as well and put a hand on the edge of my foot. It was the barest contact, but I’d take it. Something else niggled at me in my dreamy cloud. Someone was missing.
