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“You’re overthinking so hard you’re going to pop something,” River complained. “We can feel you.”
“You can feel me?”
“Yes,” River and Ryder answered in unison.What the hell? How could they feel me if I hadn’t bonded anyone?I was about to hyperventilate.
“We can feel enough to sense you’re conflicted, but not why,” Wolf added, trying to reassure me.
“You have a bond with Ava,” River said. “Even if you haven’t claimed each other yet. We can feel you through her. It’s faint, but it’s there. The claim just opens up the bond more fully. Once an alpha claims you, you’ll feel all of us, too.”
My eyes roved over them before I dropped my gaze to the floor. I swallowed hard. This was exactly what I’d been thinking so hard about. I’d promised Ava I’d try to open up to them, so I figured it was time to practice doing that.
“How does the mate claim work, if it’s not a sexual one? I know Maia and Lexie’s packs did it for their betas, but not the specifics of how. Leif is with Max, so that makes sense, but Dave’s not with anyone other than Lexie. Nick’s not with anyone other than Ava, either. As far as I’m aware.”
Nick blushed and looked up at the roof. “I’m pretty sure an alpha has to bite me at the same time Ava does. I don’t think we need to be having sex. The endorphins during sex help ease the pain and boost the bond. It works as long as there’s some emotional connection with the alpha. Even if it’s just friendship.”
“There’s no such thing asjustfriendship,“ Wolf grumbled. “Friendship is a connection and an emotion as valid as any other. Often just as strong.”
Everyone shot him puzzled looks, including me.
“What?” he growled, looking flustered.
“You’re very perceptive about people for someone who has lived most of their life in captivity,” River said, trying to be diplomatic.
He shrugged the shoulder Ava wasn’t lying on. “I read a lot growing up. You can learn things about people from books, you know. Plus, I’m deeply connected to my alpha nature and that part of me sees things in simplistic terms. People complicate things too much.”
Wolf shot a look at me, and I grimaced.
“The only thing I know for sure, and seems simple, is that Ava’s mine,” I said.
“Why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself Cary, while we’re waiting for Ava to wake up?” Ryder suggested. I wasn’t used to talking about myself, and the idea sat uncomfortably in my gut. But I’d already started opening up to River and Ryder earlier and they’d shown empathy and understanding. They hadn’t mocked me or yelled, or insinuated I was being overly dramatic. None of the things my father had done when I’d tried to explain myself to him.
“What do you want to know?” I asked. I slouched back down in the chair, trying to look unaffected, but I could feel my heart beating erratically in my chest.
“How did you end up at the Palace?” River asked. I almost groaned. River was so direct. I’d hoped to start off with something simpler, like my favorite food.
They were watching me curiously, but there was no judgement or animosity on their faces. Ava was right. They only wanted to know me. It had been a long time since anyone had cared enough to ask me about myself. If ever.Here goes.
“I came here willingly. I thought anything would be better than home. My dad was a highly dominant alpha and found it hard to conceal his disappointment that I wasn’t one too. He didn’t know what to do with a teenage male omega son after my mother passed away. He hid the truth for a while, but not because of the Palace. The asshole was embarrassed and didn’t want people to know. It didn’t last. We had a big house for the two of us, and he always seemed to have his alpha friends staying for some party or political fundraiser. I tried to appear dominant, but I couldn’t always control my reactions when alphas approached me. Sometimes they caught me off guard and I’d freeze. I’m not as strong as Lexie or Maia.”
“Hey, cut yourself some slack,” Nick said, as he leaned up on an elbow to look at me. “Lexie and Maia were both hidden away from the world, living amongst betas. It sounds as if your dad expected you to hide, then surrounded you with alphas. That would never work, and it had nothing to do with strength. That’s biology.”
I shrugged, unconvinced. I appreciated him trying to make me feel better, though. He was a loyal, steady friend.
“High school was a nightmare,” I pressed on, feeling awkward and wanting to get this done. “I craved touch, the same as any omega. I hooked up with a few curious beta girls, but it wasn’t what I needed and left me feeling worse. The newly awakened alphas at the school would have an intense reaction if I touched any of them, or if they touched me. So, I learned to avoid touching or being touched by anyone at all. If I bumped into an alpha accidentally while walking around a corner, it became a big deal. It would set them off, and it was always my fault. I hid in the library most of the time. Eventually, I got homeschooled when the school complained I was distracting and confusing the alphas. After that, I couldn’t go to university, or join the military. Even getting a job was impossible.”
“No wonder you were so tense when I was behind you during training this morning,” Ryder said. I’d told River and Ryder about my experiences with alphas jumping out at me this morning, but not how long I’d been avoiding touch.
“It is what it is.” I sighed roughly while picking at a thread on my sweatpants before sneaking a look at the guys. They all looked tense and Ava stirred slightly in Wolf’s arms.
“The Palace never pursued me when I presented because they didn’t know what to do with a male omega. My father’s alpha friends encouraged sending me here when I was in my early twenties, and one of them made the arrangements. The idea was that I could find a mate here, and then I would be someone else’s problem. My dad was relieved to see me go.”
My father’s treatment was at the heart of a lot of my issues. My becoming an alpha’s mate solved his problem. It meant he could rid himself of his burden and absolve himself of responsibility for his son. It was a part of the reason I was so conflicted about Wolf. I didn’t want to be anyone’s burden ever again. I glanced at Wolf and I could see understanding bloom in his eyes.
“When did you realize this place wasn’t what was in the brochure?” River asked in a dry tone that I was coming to realize masked how deeply he cared for people.
“I figured out quickly that I’d voluntarily given away my freedom, that they would never let me leave,” I answered. I tried for a playful smirk, but I could tell from the way River narrowed his eyes it hadn’t had the effect I intended. He had the same look whenever he was analyzing something. Right now, that was me.
“A few of my father’s friends turned up and sought me out immediately. They’d arranged with the Palace that I would be their toy in exchange for large charitable donations. A group of them had a particular kink, and I’d fallen right into their laps. They secretly liked to be dominated in bed by someone less powerful than they were. It seemed they found using betas distasteful, so I was their perfect prey.
