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“Liv!If you’re not wearing that bra out of the store, get changed and let’s go!”my delicate flower of a best friend hollers through the door.
By the time I’m fully clothed, beige bra back on my body, Jessica has CJ’s purchases rung up, and the two of them are animatedly discussing a flier in CJ’s hands.
“Look!Can you believe it?”She’s practically dancing with excitement as she shoves the paper under my nose.“We were just joking about this!”
She stabs the words on the page with a shiny red nail, and I blink as she reads the text out loud.
“The area’s hottest men are ready to be unwrapped like a present every Saturday through Christmas at the Crimson Lounge.”She glances up at Jessica.“Level with us.Exactly how hot are we talking?”
The shop owner’s lips twitch.“You’ll have no complaints.”
CJ dramatically bites her fist, then says, “Come on, we haven’t done anything wild in years.It’s time to Liv, laugh, love!”
“Well…” I glance uncomfortably at Jessica.Even though the woman’s seen more of my naked breasts than the last three guys I dated, I don’t know how I feel about discussing the objectification of local men in front of her.“Isn’t it kind of early for holiday shows?”It’s a weak objection, but it’s the only one I can come up with.
Jessica smiles as if she senses my embarrassment.“My husband runs the club, and he only hires the best,” she says.“People come from all over the state for my fittings, but they also come for the Saturday night performances.And the Christmas show is pure fun.They’ll have costumes, choreography?—”
“And cocks!”CJ finishes for her.
Jessica laughs as she reaches under the counter and pulls a few slips of paper from a small booklet.“Here.Drink vouchers.Make it a night out and enjoy yourselves.”
CJ’s hand shoots out to accept the coupons.“Thank you so much!You’re our holiday angel.”She nudges my side.“Isn’t she?”
“You are,” I say faintly.This is why I came here, after all.CJ’s always been the wild child to my practical panda.If anybody can make me forget the Richie debacle, it’s her.And I guess watching men take it all off onstage is the NSFW version of our old college hijinks, although those were usually limited to late-night donut runs and hitting frat parties even though I had a big exam the next morning.
“Thank you,” I murmur to Jessica, who smiles so broadly that her eyes almost disappear into her pillowy cheeks.
“Have fun!”she calls after us as we leave.
By the time we reach the car, CJ’s already making plans.
“I was hoping to introduce you to my friends, so this is perfect.I’m sure Rachel will be in, and Em should be able to leave her kids with her husband.Oh my god, I can’t wait!”
I glance at the thoroughly unexciting exterior of the club attached to Jessica’s shop.The walls are white cinderblock, and the neon sign bearing the wordsCrimson Loungemight be spectacular when it’s lit up, but at four in the afternoon, it’s all a little underwhelming.
“How hot can these guys be?”I ask dubiously as we drive past the grain elevator at the edge of town to start the fifty-minute drive back to Beaucoeur.“North Village isn’t exactly a booming metropolis.”
CJ gives my arm a light pinch.“You came here so I could cheer you up.”
“And that requires men in thongs?”
“Absolutely, it does.”
“Awesome.”I arrange myself more comfortably in my seat.“This isexactlythe American homecoming I was hoping for.”
CJ throws her head back in a cackle.“Oh shut up, you’re gonna love it.Next stop, the bank.We’ll need lots of cash.”
Three
Liv
I’m calling it.Operation Cheer Up Liv has officially spiraled out of control.
“You know I was being sarcastic about this being the welcome home I wanted, right?”I have to raise my voice over the music pumping through the club, but CJ just rattles the ice in her already empty drink.
“And you know I’m never sarcastic about hot men in tiny pants, right?”Her hair glows pink, then green, then blue under the colorful lights swirling above our stage-side table.I insisted we didn’t need to sit this close to the action but was shouted down by the rest of our group.They’re so enthusiastic, in fact, that I feel the need to remind everyone of the ground rules.
“No special treatment.”I hit CJ with a stern look, then turn it on her friends.“No pushing me up onstage or anything.”
