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Arlo stood across from me, his expression a mixture of concern and shock.
“What?” he asked, his tone low, but urgent, stunned. “You can’t seriously be considering keeping this a secret? It’s yourbrother’sbaby we’re talking about. Every time you’ve missed an event to go searching for Zach, your family have loved you and supported you. It’d kill them if they find out, after the fact, that there’s been contact.”
Arlo was making complete sense. I sighed as I tucked the curls, that had escaped the damn tie again, behind my ear. When I glanced up at him, he was staring right at me, waiting for me to do the right thing. Hell, he always wanted me to do the right Goddamn thing.
“But what would Leo do, or Reid, or hell, even Lorna? Would they make me report Charlie? What if Zach is…” I couldn’t get the words out, dragged them from some darkness inside me that wouldn’t leave. “What if he’s a criminal, what if he’s out there hurting people, what if he’s not like me?”
That was the very worst of all thoughts—that one day I might meet Zach, and he wouldn’t be the twin I imagined him to be. What if he was a bad guy, a bastard, abandoning his kid, out there doing the most horrible of things?
Arlo shook his head, frustration evident in his expression. “Whatever he is, whoever he turns out to be to you, don’t freeze out the family you do have, who all love you unconditionally.”
I frowned, torn between my connection to my absent twin, the fears he would be someone I’d hate, the responsibility that had been thrust upon me, and the loyalty and love my family showed me. Charlie was sound asleep in the drawer, and I wished I could stare at him, and everything would make sense, but I couldn’t help my conviction that his life depended on my decisions.
“I’m worried about what my family will say,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “They already imply that Zach is giving me the runaround. They know all about how there’s sightings and then, he vanishes. Shi—sugar, they’re going to freak out if they find out Zach dropped his kid and disappeared. They’ll believe the worst of him, and I won’t be able to keep a hold of all the good things I hope for.”
God’s sake. That had tumbled out in a mess of nothing. I bet I sounded as if I were losing control, and as if to underscore that, Arlo stepped closer, a reassuring hand on my shoulder to center me. Just that touch was enough to get me to calm down, and I lost myself in his eyes, which were bright with emotion. Why couldn’t we go back to when all I had to worry about was telling Arlo not to go on a date?
“I understand that. I do, but you’re not alone in this. First off, I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t let anyone take Charlie from you unless it’s the very last choice possible that you could make. I’ll back you whatever you decide but… Jax, are you listening to me?”
I nodded; my eyes unfocused this close to Arlo.
“Okay, your family deserves to know the truth of why you happen to have a baby all of a sudden, because you’re not thinking this through, and theywillfind out. What happens on site? Will you take Charlie with you? Because if you do, then Dan will see, and he’ll tell Daisy, who will tell Jason, who will immediately go to Leo. What if your siblings found out that way? You know that even trying to keep this a secret is only going to make things worse.”
I gazed down at the letter again, my mind racing, a band of pain squeezing my head. Arlo was right—I couldn’t keep such a significant secret from Leo, Reid, and Lorna, no matter how much Zach had asked me to keep the authorities away. And what about Mama and Papa? Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Arlo, determination settling in. He took my hand and gripped it tight, in reassurance.
“I’m sorry, of course you’re right,” I said, my voice steadier. “First thing in the morning, I’m going to call my family and tell them what’s going on.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of Arlo’s lips. “You won’t have to go through telling them alone.”
I managed a grateful smile in return, thankful for Arlo’s unwavering support—he hadn’t run away screaming.
“And I’ll stay here tonight,” he continued.
He often stayed over on a Friday evening, tucked up in the spare room, when the beers we drank made him sleepy and put him over the limit to drive. He wouldn’t have been here tonight though—what if I hadn’t asked him to come in to talk, what if he’d driven away? What would I have done without him?
I would have called family.
But I loved that Arlo was here.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I’m okay,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
He shrugged. “I know you are.” He stepped into my space and held out his arms.
I stepped into one of his patented comfort hugs. He was a head taller than me, wide-shouldered, and broad, and I nestled into his hold. He was just the right height for me to lean my face against his neck.
“Everything will be fine.”
I laced my hands behind his back as he cradled me close, and I inhaled the scent of him, sunscreen, a working day, the underlying notes of wood and varnish.
Arlo. Safety. Home.
ChapterSix
Arlo
Jax and Charliehad gone to bed, or rather Charlie had fallen asleep in his drawer, and we’d carried it upstairs into Jax’s room. He didn’t want to leave Charlie, but I couldn’t exactly offer to stay in his bedroom as well, so I’d gone back downstairs and cleared away the snack I’d made for us after Jax had gotten over his initial shock.
He’d barely eaten any of the sandwiches, and now I wasn’t sure what to do next. I could go home. It wasn’t as if we’d had beers and I’d needed to stay, but something compelled me to check all the doors, turn off lights, and head to the spare room.
